Mistake or no?

[kevin]

Since it seems a lot of posts are once again on the topic of the "nice guy that gives too much being hurt", I thought I'd bring this up and get an opinion. I myself am one of those "nice guys" as I have posted my situation on this board a few days ago.

 

My ex is a little friendlier toward me since I stopped calling her and stopped making her the center of my life, but still we aren't "together" by any stretch, and she hasn't called me in a while. Anyway, I was working out at the gym the other day, and she showed up. Sometimes we exchange hello's, other times we don't really talk when we see each other there. Anyway, this time she came up next to me on the cycling machine and started talking to me (small talk, mind you). I have no idea where it came from but I told her that "now is not a good time to talk to me" and that "it's nothing against you, but I'm not happy the way things are between us" and finally said somethign like "I told you I respect your rights and won't expect anyting of you, and if you ever understand that I meant that then maybe we can start over" then I walked away and left. Those may not have been my EXACT words, but something very close to that.

 

What I'm not sure of is was it a mistake to openly tell her that? I didn't plan to say it, at the time I just was frustrated when I saw her and it sort of came out. Maybe will she think it's a plan on my part? I'm just worried I was maybe a bit too hard on her, especially since we had just started to communicate again after a few months layoff from each other.

[Tony T]

You worry way too much. If she can't handle what you said, she's not worth it. But don't mention the subject again with her. You have put everything squarely in her hands.

 

Meanwhile, there are lots of other very nice chicks who work out at your gym. Hint, hint!!!

[billy the kid]

you did the right thing, now let her come after you if she wants you.... you laid the track now see if the train is willing to travel it..it should be either all or nothing, no matter what any one says there sould "never" be head games. you told her how you felt so wait and see if she respects your feelings....

Since it seems a lot of posts are once again on the topic of the "nice guy that gives too much being hurt", I thought I'd bring this up and get an opinion. I myself am one of those "nice guys" as I have posted my situation on this board a few days ago. My ex is a little friendlier toward me since I stopped calling her and stopped making her the center of my life, but still we aren't "together" by any stretch, and she hasn't called me in a while. Anyway, I was working out at the gym the other day, and she showed up. Sometimes we exchange hello's, other times we don't really talk when we see each other there. Anyway, this time she came up next to me on the cycling machine and started talking to me (small talk, mind you). I have no idea where it came from but I told her that "now is not a good time to talk to me" and that "it's nothing against you, but I'm not happy the way things are between us" and finally said somethign like "I told you I respect your rights and won't expect anyting of you, and if you ever understand that I meant that then maybe we can start over" then I walked away and left. Those may not have been my EXACT words, but something very close to that.

 

What I'm not sure of is was it a mistake to openly tell her that? I didn't plan to say it, at the time I just was frustrated when I saw her and it sort of came out. Maybe will she think it's a plan on my part? I'm just worried I was maybe a bit too hard on her, especially since we had just started to communicate again after a few months layoff from each other.

[Deejette]

I think it's good that you told her how you feel, otherwise it will be one big fake interaction with small talk aned niceties that don't amount to anything and just waste your time.

you did the right thing, now let her come after you if she wants you.... you laid the track now see if the train is willing to travel it..it should be either all or nothing, no matter what any one says there sould "never" be head games. you told her how you felt so wait and see if she respects your feelings....