My bf left me. Now 2 1/2 mths later he has returned. What do I do?

[Ms.Bull]

Hello, I dont know if anybody remembers my post from about 2 months ago or not. But the love of my life had left me. Now 2 and half months later he has reappered. Says that no matter how hard he tries that he cant get me out of his head and that he loves me but we need to be friends right now while he figures out where is life is heading. Does this make sense to anyone? In a way it does to me. It is like he needs to figure ouit who he is and that he loves me and doesnt want to loose me in the process. I see him about 3 times a week now and we hang out and talk on the phone for hours and hours like when we first started dating. He tells me he loves me. I know that he does but what can i do to help him, except for being here for him when he needs me. Any advice?

[hurtingandconfused]

What do you do?

 

What do YOU want?

 

Do you really really love him?

 

Do you see yourself having a healthy relationship with him? If not why take him back?

 

However,

 

If so...There you have what you wanted now take it easy and let time go by.

[Velveteel]

Hurtingandconfused has a good point. You don't say here what you really want. If you want his love, rather than just his friendship, I actually recommend a little bit of distance. Enjoy this new-found closeness with him, but don't meet all his emotional (or other) needs without some kind of romantic commitment from him. Some days, be a little too busy to talk. Let some time pass before returning his calls, etc. He clearly misses you; don't supply everything he needs without having your needs met as well. You run the risk of becoming (just) his buddy. Good luck!

[sinkerswim]

What does your heart tell you to do?

Go with that!

 

Ive been away from my boyfriend the same amount of time.

Last we saw each other was Feb 3.

I would give anything in the world, to be with him again.

 

Anyway, sounds like you really want him back... take it slow...but go with your heart. You are lucky!

[CurlyamI]

Originally posted by Ms.Bull

Hello, I dont know if anybody remembers my post from about 2 months ago or not. But the love of my life had left me. Now 2 and half months later he has reappered. Says that no matter how hard he tries that he cant get me out of his head and that he loves me but we need to be friends right now while he figures out where is life is heading. Does this make sense to anyone? In a way it does to me. It is like he needs to figure ouit who he is and that he loves me and doesnt want to loose me in the process. I see him about 3 times a week now and we hang out and talk on the phone for hours and hours like when we first started dating. He tells me he loves me. I know that he does but what can i do to help him, except for being here for him when he needs me. Any advice?

 

I personally don't believe in came backs. It's so messy, so complicated,so hard....

 

On the other hand, I am very impulsive, very pride and I take rejections really really bad. I can't accept anything but love from the man I love, otherwise it would be just too difficult to me. I am spoiled, you're right.

 

Why did he go away, how did you take it, did you get over it? 'cause if it were the man of my life I'd make a little bit more "sound" than that. Just remeber the first moral duty you have regards you, not those around you.

 

I remember with my ex, when I left, it was so hard just being there all alone, so I convinced myself I loved him and run away into his arms. He was too glad to have me back to ask any question. Don't do the same mistake, don't take him back without putting everything out in the open.

[Ms. Latin]

For 7 years I was with a guy who decided that he wanted to join the military. Well I didn't want to be in a relationship like that, and decided I wanted out.

 

I moved to Florida and met a man. I was still in love with my ex. After about two years of dating this man, I decided that I wanted to see my ex. Well my guy found out and ended our relationship.

 

I went through it all alone, I didn't have family or friends around me because of the distance. He keeps coming around and I keep letting him back but the bond is not there anymore. I feel it. Just don't know how to go cold turkey since I dont have much support.

 

Any suggestions? I have been with 2 men in my life, I don't have much experience with this.

[Blueeyes_04]

The only thing I would be afraid of is that he is "checking out his other options" while keeping you on the side; just in case he can't find anyone else.

[Ms.Bull]

okay all of your responses make sense. I want him and his love back very badly. And my heart tells me that I love him and that I should give him the time he needs to find out who he is. I have tried to move on with my life while he was gone but it didnt work. It wasnt a bad break up. I still love him to death and find myself falling in love with him all over again. He isnt seeing anyone right now and yes i know that for a fact. He tells me that he loves me and he has been contacting me more than just me calling him. So maybe space is all that he needed, only time will tell. But I do know that he loves me as much as I love him.