Dad who takes 14 yr old son to The Hangover Part II ??

[ladyinlimbo]

I'm a woman, no kids. I did see the original "Hangover" movie, only because it was on one lazy rainy Sunday and there was nothing else on TV. I couldn't sit through all of it, too stupid, senseless, crude, inane and vulgar for my liking. I'm sure most guys would like it, though.

 

What do you think about a Dad taking his 14 yr old son (just turned 14) to the sequel: The Hangover Part II? When this guy I know told me he'd taken his son today to the theatre to see it (but all showings were sold out so they didn't), I was really quite shocked. It's an "R" rated movie. Like the first one, lots of sex, sexual innuendos (tho more raunch than innuendo), crude language (f-bombs every 2 sentences), the whole premise of the movie really is about guys getting wasted drunk and not being able to remember what happened the night before in Bangkok, strippers, drugs, drug deals, yadda yadda. I certainly didn't make any comments to him, it's really none of my business nor my place but if this is an indication of his parenting style (he's divorced), it's really a turn-off. Kids/teens are subjected enough to so much crap, kids 11 yrs old having sex, most nowadays know how to spell expletives better than usual everyday language.....just can't understand why a father would take his son to such trash not intended for anyone other than adults.

 

Thoughts?

[Woggle]

I honestly see nothing wrong with it. The first was hilarious and I plan seeing this one next week. It's just a funny movie and I am sure it is nothing he hasn't heard already. It's not meant to be a serious and educational movie.

[ladyinlimbo]

I honestly see nothing wrong with it. The first was hilarious and I plan seeing this one next week. It's just a funny movie and I am sure it is nothing he hasn't heard already. It's not meant to be a serious and educational movie.

 

Well I agree in that I'm sure it contains nothing he's not already heard of already too.....but don't you think it's one thing to see this kind of movie with your friends as opposed to your Dad taking you? Doesn't that send a message to the kid that drugs / casual sex / getting wasted / etc. is just no big deal? Wouldn't it be kind of hypocritical for a Dad to teach his teenager to stay away from drugs, to make good decision.....when on the other hand you're taking him to a movie that makes light of these things? Seems to me it's just sending really mixed messages to your teenager.

[Woggle]

Chances are he will end up seeing it anyway. He could download off of the internet if he knows where to look. This way he could actually discuss the movie with his son and talk to him about these things.

[ladyinlimbo]

Chances are he will end up seeing it anyway. He could download off of the internet if he knows where to look. This way he could actually discuss the movie with his son and talk to him about these things.

 

True, but i don't get the sense that his Dad will be discussing the movie content with him. Dad seems really stoked and excited to see the movie himself.

 

I just think the more young teens are exposed to movies that make light of serious things like drugs, drug dealing, casual sex, orgies, hookers, getting wasted out of your mind...the more they become generally desensitized to it, like these things are not so "taboo."

[Dust]

As a child I watched far worse movies like Aliens, Predator, and Terminator just to name a few. I really don’t see a problem with it.

[bentnotbroken]

True, but i don't get the sense that his Dad will be discussing the movie content with him. Dad seems really stoked and excited to see the movie himself.

 

I just think the more young teens are exposed to movies that make light of serious things like drugs, drug dealing, casual sex, orgies, hookers, getting wasted out of your mind...the more they become generally desensitized to it, like these things are not so "taboo."

 

 

I used movies (and songs)like this to open conversation. It is a relaxed situations and an excellent opportunity to interject the truth should a similar situation come about. The truth is our kids really aren't as desensitized as they are made out to be and for the most part they are good about recognizing real life and comic relief. I must admit this wasn't one of the films that was on my movie list...so I have not seen it.

[KR10N]

There's nothing wrong w/ this at all. It's people like you who degrade a teens ability to be mature & automatically believe they'll turn out wrong. There are however limits, but this doesn't mean you should shelter a child from anything you think might "taint" them. Kids are capable of being mature, sometimes more than adults.

 

Boy will be boys!

[Trimmer]

...if this is an indication of his parenting style (he's divorced), it's really a turn-off.

If this one piece of information is the only indication you have of his parenting style, then I don't think you have enough to go on to form a conclusive opinion. A parent's relationship with a child is many-layered and nuanced far beyond what you can interpret from a single instance like the one you're providing. How well do you know this father, and how much have you had a chance to discuss/observe his parenting style in it's full breadth?

 

Kids/teens are subjected enough to so much crap, kids 11 yrs old having sex, most nowadays know how to spell expletives better than usual everyday language.....just can't understand why a father would take his son to such trash not intended for anyone other than adults.

Fair points, but again, unless I had view of a much bigger picture than you've provided here, I don't think I could form a strong opinion.

 

I used movies (and songs)like this to open conversation. It is a relaxed situations and an excellent opportunity to interject the truth should a similar situation come about....

Yeah, in some families they just say "don't do it" and there's no more discussion. In other families, there's no discussion - there are a lot of assumptions, and that leaves opportunities for surprises later on.

 

Is it possible that the father and his son have established a relaxed ability to talk about sex, drinking, drugs, and have drawn clear boundaries about expectations within their family in the real world, and that drawing these clear boundaries provides a framework for understanding the difference between reality and fantasy, humor, etc?

 

Anyway, unless you have a better sense and a broader view of his philosophies and abilities as a parent, I'd say it's not enough to convict him on...

[Mauschen]

I'm with the original poster on this one. Just because MOST kids see this kind of garbage anyway doesn't mean that a parent should promote it.

 

Most teen boys also look at porn. Does that mean a parent should supply it?

 

I think 14 is a bit too young for movies like this one. And I think to see it with a parent is even worse - like the parent is condoning that kind of behavior. I'm sure the same dad would be furious if his son were to go on a drinking binge, have casual sex and get a tattoo on his face. At some point, you can see it as entertainment only, but I'm sure such entertainment can really influence the way a young teen views the world.

[Trimmer]

I'm with the original poster on this one. Just because MOST kids see this kind of garbage anyway doesn't mean that a parent should promote it.

 

Most teen boys also look at porn. Does that mean a parent should supply it?

Those weren't my arguments at all. I find those arguments as unconvincing as you do, however that's not my perspective on the subject.

 

My point is, as a parent, I know my own child, and I know the whole picture of the relationship we have, our ability to talk about stuff like this, and I know very well that my taking him to this is not "promoting" these behaviors. I don't make that assumption for anyone but myself, because I know myself and our family.

 

My point was in direct answer to the OP - I wasn't trying to answer "was this father right or wrong", but rather "can I judge this father as good or bad from the one piece of information that he took his kid to this movie" and my opinion on that is: you can't draw a conclusive opinion just from that one fact.

 

I think 14 is a bit too young for movies like this one. And I think to see it with a parent is even worse - like the parent is condoning that kind of behavior. I'm sure the same dad would be furious if his son were to go on a drinking binge, have casual sex and get a tattoo on his face. At some point, you can see it as entertainment only, but I'm sure such entertainment can really influence the way a young teen views the world.

Fair points, but why would you only consider it a "bit" too young? What age would you consider it appropriate?

 

I guess if you consider it "garbage" and a bad example that could influence a (young) teen, then I would have expected you to take a hard line on the "R" rating, and restrict it until they are adults.

 

So in your opinion, are we just arguing what age is a "bit" too young, or should this not be seen by teens at all?

Edited June 1, 2011 by Trimmer

[KR10N]

I think 14 is a bit too young for movies like this one. And I think to see it with a parent is even worse - like the parent is condoning that kind of behavior. I'm sure the same dad would be furious if his son were to go on a drinking binge, have casual sex and get a tattoo on his face. At some point, you can see it as entertainment only, but I'm sure such entertainment can really influence the way a young teen views the world.

Movies never influenced me. My parents never sheltered me from anything, I'm not saying they just flat out told "here's how life is". They made sure I was comfortable enough before they explained anything & I've grown into a far better adult than someone who was sheltered as a child. I learned about sex & drugs before middle school, but do I do either? No. The older I got, the more I learned.

[Lecturer]

Trying to think back.. I don't recall the original Hangover as all that bad. It didn't have any explicit sex or (more importantly) violence (nothing brutal.. just the odd Tyson punch and attack by naked asian guy).

 

There was foul language, but by 14 I think a kid's understanding of right/wrong and linguistic expectations are pretty set. Now, I wouldn't let my 3 year old see something with that kind of language, but I think that reasoning is obvious.

 

The alcohol/drug content... well to me it seems like a pretty great lesson! You get f'ed up like that and you can run into PROBLEMS... serious problems. That's a pretty good thing to learn.

 

Granted, I haven't seen the 2nd one.. maybe it's sexuality is more explicit or people get killed or horribly hurt. If so my opinion on it may be different.

 

Oh, I'd also like to address the misconception that "kids nowadays are exposed to so much worse....". Ever since around the 40s, kids were exposed to EXTREMELY violent imagery (not to mention real-life knowledge from war). Sure, life was more puritan in a sexual sense.. but if you think objectively, what would be better for a teenager to see... consensual sex between adults, or graphic violence including suffering and death? To me that choice is obvious.

[bentnotbroken]

I'm with the original poster on this one. Just because MOST kids see this kind of garbage anyway doesn't mean that a parent should promote it.

 

Most teen boys also look at porn. Does that mean a parent should supply it?

 

I think 14 is a bit too young for movies like this one. And I think to see it with a parent is even worse - like the parent is condoning that kind of behavior. I'm sure the same dad would be furious if his son were to go on a drinking binge, have casual sex and get a tattoo on his face. At some point, you can see it as entertainment only, but I'm sure such entertainment can really influence the way a young teen views the world.

 

 

I guess it would depend on the 14 year old and the kind of life they have experienced. I can only say for me, 14 isn't as young and inexperienced as some would like to believe. I also think it depends on what image of a child you have. Is it the 14 year old from rural Appalachia or the 14 year old kid who lives in South Beach? Is it a 14 year old from suburban Dallas or a 14 year old from inner city USA? Is it the 14 year old from an Indian reservation or the 14 year old from Minnesota.

 

My point is, though the chronological age is the same, the experiences, parenting, community influences and other relationship render the opinion of too young relative to the who you are speaking of. My oldest at 14 was a lot more naive than my youngest at 14. There was a different parenting dynamic involved in raising both. While the basics were the same, the children were different.

[Eclypse]

First of all, if anything this would be a good deterrent NOT to drink!

 

I think if you use this as a reason to write him off, then you are just nitpicking and looking for a reason to next him. 14 wasn't that long ago for me, I remember what I was like back then. I already knew what was right and wrong. I loved movies like Aliens, Predator, Terminator etc. Played games like GTA Vice City (which some stupid people believe inspired shootings. Bollocks I say, if you get the idea that shooting people in a game means its ok to do it in real life you are in need of a mental institution).

 

My dad took me and my sister to watch Bad Boys II in the cinemas when it came out. We were aged 13 and 7 respectively. The person at the cinemas gave us funny looks but we didn't care. It was hilarious and we both turned out fine. I think some people just get insulted way too easily. Would you rather that sex and drinking were taboo subjects that weren't dared to be mentioned in the family? Those kinds of kids in those families are the ones who are more likely to sneak out and get a tattoo, or get pregnant at 15.

[brokenhart]

Hangover one wasn't too bad, not sure about hangover 2. It depends on the parents and how they explain things. My kids are soon to be 14 and 16 and they watch shows like True Blood with me which is far more sexual and nudity.

Kids at this age can find porn all over the internet. Even if it's something different they are looking for.

Even small kids movies pump in sex. We saw Hop...which was supposed to be a small kids movies and there was way too many sex references...including him going to the playboy mansion to be a bunny.

It is sad the way the world in movies and shows revolves around sex.

[milkmaterial]

/shifty eyes

 

tried to invite my friend and her 9 year old to watch hangover 2 w/ me good thing it wasnt out at that time

 

yeah i think its too much, at this point, part 1 had strippers on the credits (among others) as for part 2 i have sadly not seen it yet.

[TheLawmaker]

I am not too familiar with the Hangover. Other than it looks like a stupid movie!

 

But I was watching The Naked Gun and Police Academy at age 9. I remember seeing naked boobies in the first Police Academy before age 10. This doesn't compare to that.

 

And while I might have turned out badly, it's more bullying and abuse from fellow peers, rather than influence from movies and music, that made me turn into someone who's scared of intimacy. I was bullied for liking prog rock in middle school! Your son doesn't have to deal with that.

[Tayla]

There's nothing wrong w/ this at all. It's people like you who degrade a teens ability to be mature & automatically believe they'll turn out wrong. There are however limits, but this doesn't mean you should shelter a child from anything you think might "taint" them. Kids are capable of being mature, sometimes more than adults.

 

Boy will be boys!

 

Said like (A) a Person who doesnt have children and if you do gosh help us all , or (B) Has little regard for Maintaining some sensibility in regards to Teens.

 

I cringe when I hear any person recite the "boys will be boys" as IF that gives a gender certain immature decision making antics to be part of the gender itself. Luckily I had two sons that I didn't raise with that mentality or care for movies of this nature. Matter of Fact they turned MTV off one day when the show J*ck*ss started airing, they couldnt tolerate the neanderthal mentality and deeds. Soo glad they were able to make sound decisions.

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[SleeplessRomantic]

I started playing Grand Theft Auto video games when I was 8 and I watched an absolute HORDE (and I mean HORDE) of raunchy movies back then.

 

It all comes down to individual specifications. I had two amazing sets of parents. My father constantly would tell me about the importance of consistently working hard and fending off adversity. He would also explain the importance of having fun in life and not 'sweating the small stuff'.

 

I've always been a little bit more different around people my age. A lot of people grow up with brothers and sisters, or they have parents who aren't really that old. Well, my mom was three months shy of turning 40 when I was born, and my dad was 37. My two cousins, who are basically like sisters to me because of how close we've always been, are 31 and 35.

 

With all of this said, I played the early Grand Theft Auto games all the time when I was 7 or 8. When GTA III released, I played it nonstop, and I was 10 years old back then. Look at me now -- I'm not a raging, violent, self-unaware lunatic like a lot of people ignorantly believe video games will turn somebody into. I've only really stopped playing them over the past few years out of boredom and new (better) hobbies.

 

The only thing is that, at the age of 19 (I'll be 20 in three months), I have clearly visible gray hair in the front. I'd prefer to arrogantly call them 'wisdom whiskers' or 'platinum streaks'. Either way, too many people are mistaking me for my late 20s/early 30s. Looks like I can use violent video games and raunchy movies as a scapegoat.

 

This can be seen as fortunate or unfortunate (perhaps the glass half full/empty line), but sex sells...and hasn't it always? Look what Hugh Hefner created in 1953. The man was a pioneer and created a overtly successful magazine that turned into one wealthy global media organization. Unfortunately, along with sex, there are stigmas and silly insecurities that plague people's minds on how to fully, sexually explain themselves. I blame the peanut M&Ms.

 

As for expletives -- that's kind of an overstated concern, because anything can be an expletive. Don't get too caught up on words, because words are words. If you are walking, carrying a plate of food, and you drop it, it shouldn't matter whether you say "Damn!" or "Dang!", because they are both said in the same context, but we've vilified this oh-so gruesome 'expletives' to the core of platooning them with words that are said in that exact same context. It's all a double standard in and of itself.

 

I'd say, don't be too concerned about it.

Edited June 11, 2011 by SleeplessRomantic

[Radagast]

I couldn't imagine anyone older than 14 wanting to see a movie like that. Ups to him for turning the experience into an opportunity for bonding with his son instead of compelling his son to sneak in with his friends to watch it or download it off the internet and watch it alone on his computer.