A chance?

[bslchump]

A few days ago I got a message from my ex telling me that she was sorry for our breakup. She felt horrible about how she treated me towards the end (pushed me away emotionally) and apologized profusely.

 

I answered back and in her next message, she said she loved me still. I don't know if it's a "I'll always love you" kind of thing, or a "I'm still IN love with you" kind of thing. It seemed awkward to ask.

 

So I responded and asked her to come back home to see me for a few weeks (she wouldn't be staying with me). When she responded, she said she didn't think it was a good idea right now. That she would feel too sad and nostalgic around me so it was best if we stayed apart a while longer. She also said that was no guarantee we would even date again (don't remember her exact words, but it was basically like "please don't wait for me, because it might not happen").

 

She told me we could either keep talking over the next few months or we could go back to not talking, whichever is easiest for me. She said in a little while she'll re-evaluate things to see if she will see me.

 

She told me it was breaking her heart to keep talking to me (instant messanger at the time) so she would leave. She logged off and we haven't spoken for a few hours.

 

What should I do? Keep talking to her? Shut her out? I bet this forum gets this all the time, but I really do want to date her again. What's my best play right now?

[buranko]

just be true to yourself, get a life and stay awesome.

 

respect her wishes.

 

if she initiates a conversation w u, talk back.

if she invites u out, accept.

 

do not speak about this rls unless she initiates.

 

she'll appreciate this.

[bl22]

heres how it seems to me ...

 

she wanted to see if you stil wanted her, you responded with 'come here please!' ...now she is unsure...i think shes playing mind games.

 

you should have let her sweat abit before letting her no you stil want her.

[bslchump]

Alright, I guess I'll just talk if/when she wants to talk. Should I tell her so she knows im available? I'm not sure if she then blocked me or what. I dunno if she expects me to contact her first. I'm totally lost.

[1437]

i think you should give her some space. im a girl and i think you should really not be too clingy and just let her initate the convos if she wants to.

[Livelovelearn]

are you sure theres not someone else in her interest? be aware this is usually what happens especially when they push you away...and i speak from experience..also reading all forums possible..it could be the case. Please do yourself a favour and do not expect anything from this woman move on and enjoy your life, thats the only time they seem to actually want to get back, but not always. But if you move on and avoid moping atleast it will be better for yourself

[bslchump]

are you sure theres not someone else in her interest? be aware this is usually what happens especially when they push you away...and i speak from experience..also reading all forums possible..it could be the case. Please do yourself a favour and do not expect anything from this woman move on and enjoy your life, thats the only time they seem to actually want to get back, but not always. But if you move on and avoid moping atleast it will be better for yourself

 

She's sort of "fake dating" someone else now. It's a LDR and they've never met in person, so I'm not sure what to call it.

 

She was the one who kept contacting me. She sent a text a month ago that I ignored telling me she missed me and hoped I was well. Then she sent a long message a few days ago and said she was sorry for everything and that she missed me.

 

As soon as I tell her to come see me so we can talk, she clams up and I haven't heard from her since (2 days now). She said it wasn't a good time because she'd be too emotional if she saw me now, so she wants to wait another month or so.

 

I guess all I can do is just back off and see if she comes to me. Maybe next time I won't be so...honest(?) with how I feel.

[guccimane99]

love live learn bring up a great point. I had an ex do something close to what she said she said something like well see how things go not saying it will or will not and then she just went and hung out with anyother guy everyday. Never gave me a second chance to show her she just dropped me off and it felt terrible. I am stupid for no realizing it she lied saying they were just friends nothing more and i shouldnt worry. I look back and say why did i let her back in to mess me up. I do realize karma sucks and it will come back and get her because karma always comes back. At the end of the day just let her go if she wants u back she will tell u if not just stay away. Thats fine if she wants to apologize but thats it. U dont owe her anything at all she doesnt need to know how u are doing and if she asks say fantastic thats it nothing more it will keep her intrest and if she ask if you dating and she wants to know say yea thats it. Also, don't be on the phone to long make her enjoy hearing you if you do decided to throw urself back in there. Good luck.

Edited May 31, 2011 by guccimane99
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[Rose T]

Live love learn was indeed perceptive, and you confirming that she is fake dating in a LDR makes this a bit clearer: she is emotionally unavailable at the moment. Being in a LDR and wavering with you are classic hallmarks of this. I think you can only step back and let her initiate. Please try and meet other people, stay light. When she finally becomes emotionally available, it may not be for her LDR or for you. I don't mean to be harsh, but I'm saying what I see.