How can I pursue him?

[collegemuse]

Hey all! I'm a 20 year old girl looking for some advice. This is going to be a long post.

 

I met (lets call him Alpha) Alpha when I was a freshman in high school and he was a junior. I immediately had a crush on him - me and EVERY other girl in school. He took the same bus as me and lived around the block from me so all my friends thought I was soo lucky to be breathing the same air as him. Anyway, we kept in touch after he graduated and we would have a small chat on facebook every few months. I saw him around the neighborhood but we never hung out alone. I'm done with my second year of college now and he just graduated.

 

Last summer, I went to his house for a pool party and there were MAD people there so I just chilled and had a good time. We kept in touch all year, talking maybe once a month about random things. I had a Long-term boyfriend this entire school year.

 

Our convos always consist of platonic, friendly things. He NEVER showed any signs of interests - honestly, I like him so much I don't even care. I just want to be his friend.Also, I was in love with my ex and wouldn't dream of cheating on him.

 

Alpha is physically a GOD, he is super, super smart, he is interesting, funny and he comes from a good family. All my friends joke about how he wants me because sometimes he brings me up to them when I'm not around, but he never says anything beyond "Where is Mia?"

 

SO TWO WEEKS AGO MY BOYFRIEND DUMPED ME (we just were'nt meant to be.) It was awful, I was crying/not /eating for a week. But I was slowly getting over it with the help of my friends. Alpha began texting me more than the usually monthly "watsup" but I thought nothing of it-he didn't even bring up my ex, which I think was because we never talked about him anyway. He invited me to go on a trip with him and his friends for the weekend to relax and celebrate the end of the semester. He was literally texting me all day, and he even called me, which he never does. I wasn't going to go because it was too last minute, but he ended up cancelling anyway. So I went over to his apartment.

 

We talked and joked for half an hour and then before I knew it he was on top of me trying to kiss me. Honestly, I was NOTTTT feeling it. I don't know why but after 6 years of me liking him I didn't want to kiss him - I kind of want to "save'' him for marriage or something LOL. We were making out for a couple of hours and he kept trying to go further but I didn't let him. I could tell he was frustrated. I really tried to get into it, but I just couldn't.

 

At one point, he asked me why we didn't talk more in high school and I asked him why he didn't talk to me more. I also said that we've been living in dormitories that are right next to each other for the past two years of college and we never hung out-and he said "well you had a bf all year." I was SO surprised that he even knew that ... IDK...does this mean he was interested always?

 

He walked me home and kissed me goodnight. He didn't text me that night so the next day I texted him and we had a very short convo that he ended by saying that he needed to go to sleep. We haven't spoken since, and that was 4 days ago. In those 4 days, I have not stopped thinking about him and wanting him more and more!!! But I refuse to text him first again. If he REALLY wanted to talk to me, he would have texted me by now, right?

 

What do you guys think? How can I pursue him without actually making a move? Is he interested, even if its just a fling? Was I just another random girl to him? Should I contact him again? Will he ever contact me? Help!!!

Edited May 30, 2011 by collegemuse

[SpiralOut]

He was probably always interested in you and didn't want to make a move or act too friendly due to you having a boyfriend. When a guy likes someone one of the first things he tries to find out is if she has a boyfriend.

 

Maybe he thinks you aren't interested in him, since you weren't into the whole kissing thing. I think you should contact him and invite him to do something.

[collegemuse]

I haven't contacted him yet but I haven't stopped thinking about him. He liked my facebook status and a picture of mine yesterday, so today I liked one of his statuses....

 

Thats the extent of it. LOL. I don't know if contacting him is the best idea, and I don't want to be the one asking to hang out. Wouldn't he want to text me on his own?

[pilotDXB]

Maybe hes fetting the impression that youre leading him on? Consider this: he seems to know youre intrrested, you keep in touch during youre relationship, you get dumped, he makes a move, you seem reluctant, and he gets frustrated.

 

Am i right?

 

If you want to be with him, you need to make your intentions clear, go out with him and get your mind off the breakup, or if its a rebound you want...

 

You just need to make a decision and make sure he knows what it is.