emerald Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Hi everyone, I've been writing for a while since my ex broke it off with me about 9 months ago. Since then I have emailed him a few times and attempted to make contact once by phone - and I had also maintained friendship with several mutual friends of ours. A few days ago he sends me an apologetic email about the way he acted, claiming that he is now questioning his decision to completely ignore me and claiming that he has no conclusive reason for breaking up with me other than that I was somewhat depressed at the time. He said that all his attempts to just ignore me didn't work because I was still friends with his friends and that was like a permanent reminder to him. He also added that he was extrememly depressed and lonely at that point. I don't get why he is writing now. Why bother? It's been 9 months! Whats the deal? Link to post Share on other sites
YssaBoo Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Hmmm....sounds like my ordeal,except mine didn't tell me he was sorry.He told me to call him one night and the first thing he said was if I had heard the new song by Hoobastank..."The Reason".The song is basically our relationship and since that call he has been really good.He has bad mood swings,but I realize that and leave him alone during those times until he contacts me.It really sounds like your ex misses you and wants to try again.Guys have the strangest ways of saying they are sorry and breaking up with you for the supidest reasons. Than they see you every day and over time the see what they had and it takes them ages to admit their feelings.My ex said he couldn't show his feelings,he had to be a soldier.this came from his mothers 2 failed marriages and 10 years of therapy.I just wish they would realize how much they hurt us when they do those things.But than we are stupid for taking them back in our lives,love does crazy things to people,doesn't it!! Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Your ex may truly regret the breakup and want a relationship with you again. He may also be, as he stated, lonely and depressed, and reaching out to you for companionship. In which case the problems that caused the initial breakup may rear their ugly head again. It's hard to tell. Be honest about your feelings, but if you decide to get involved with him again, tread with caution. It might be more trouble than it's worth to get back into a relationship with someone who only seeks you out when they feel depressed, after admitting they broke up with you due to your supposed depression. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyamI Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 You answered your question yourself: "He also added that he was extrememly depressed and lonely at that point." You can be a sport and talk to him if he's been a good man to you. Just don't let him talk about what you two had to make his life or state of mind better. It's called "using". I would like to be on speaking terms with my ex, but I'm not really sure he worths it. Link to post Share on other sites
oneday Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 sounds like my boyfriend - or i guess i should say ex-boyfriend...he has mood swings worse then me on my worse pms day. this past weekend he said we should cool off our relationship after a year and a half. that was fine with me cause i was tired of him yelling and cursing at me and calling me names. breaking up is hard to do - i hope i don't have to do it anymore. since then he has hardly talked to me. i am suppose to give him a date to move out. i start back to counseling tomorrow. good luck to you emerald! I hope it works out the way you would like. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 Originally posted by emerald Hi everyone, I've been writing for a while since my ex broke it off with me about 9 months ago. Since then I have emailed him a few times and attempted to make contact once by phone - and I had also maintained friendship with several mutual friends of ours. A few days ago he sends me an apologetic email about the way he acted, claiming that he is now questioning his decision to completely ignore me and claiming that he has no conclusive reason for breaking up with me other than that I was somewhat depressed at the time. He said that all his attempts to just ignore me didn't work because I was still friends with his friends and that was like a permanent reminder to him. He also added that he was extrememly depressed and lonely at that point. I don't get why he is writing now. Why bother? It's been 9 months! Whats the deal? You contacted your ex several times, obviously wanting to open up communication again. Now your ex opens up communication by responding, and you complain? This is what you wanted, no? Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 I don't know your story, but I would NOT bother with someone that dumped me, and then decided that THEY wanted to re enter into my life. Who do they think they are? Link to post Share on other sites
Ms.Bull Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 I am kinda in the same situation as you. And i like the advice listen to your heart, what does it tell you to do? If you really love the guy then go for it. If you are not sure and have already movin on, then there is no point. Link to post Share on other sites
emeraldcity Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 You are right faux, I guess I was trying to get him to respond. Then when I did get a response it was kind of overwhelming. I had contacted him because it was starting to feel increasingly uncomfortable being friends with mutual friends of ours, and they were uncomfortable because of the situation between me and my ex. Towards the end of our relationship I admittedly was getting a little depressed, but what type of person dumps an otherwise solid relationship because of that? And he admitted that he couldn't care less about how I felt at the time, which is why he gave me complete bull**** reasons for breaking up and then simply ignored me up until a few days ago when I got this email. I don't know whether I should even bother to go over the finer details of our breakup with him, he is just seeking some peace of mind - and why should I bother with that, when it clearly didn't concern him at all when it came time to break it off with me. My god, the guy couldn't even do it to my face and had to do it over email! Link to post Share on other sites
eye Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 seems to me that he is making contact because he is depressed/lonely/whatever. emeraldcity I think you know u deserve much better than be a fallback girl. I wish my ex would to the same, so I can tell her to **** off Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 Originally posted by eye seems to me that he is making contact because he is depressed/lonely/whatever. emeraldcity I think you know u deserve much better than be a fallback girl. I wish my ex would to the same, so I can tell her to **** off I'll bet you do! I'm sorry you got set up Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 Originally posted by emeraldcity You are right faux, I guess I was trying to get him to respond. Then when I did get a response it was kind of overwhelming. I had contacted him because it was starting to feel increasingly uncomfortable being friends with mutual friends of ours, and they were uncomfortable because of the situation between me and my ex. Towards the end of our relationship I admittedly was getting a little depressed, but what type of person dumps an otherwise solid relationship because of that? And he admitted that he couldn't care less about how I felt at the time, which is why he gave me complete bull**** reasons for breaking up and then simply ignored me up until a few days ago when I got this email. I don't know whether I should even bother to go over the finer details of our breakup with him, he is just seeking some peace of mind - and why should I bother with that, when it clearly didn't concern him at all when it came time to break it off with me. My god, the guy couldn't even do it to my face and had to do it over email! I wouldn't give this another thought. I wouldn't want to be ANYONE'S ace in the hole. Link to post Share on other sites
emeraldcity Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 Its wierd because for so long now I have been hoping and praying for this sort of opportunity. I thought that if I could just make him see, that if I could just get him to write to me properly - that I could then prove to him what he is missing out on. But I know intuitively that these love-sick emotions are often not well-placed, and clearly I was in love with a guy that was throughally undeserving of being loved. I don't need him around anymore to feel self-content, and the only reason I would reply, is because thus far I have really enjoyed walking the moral highground. There is no greater revenge than moral superiority Link to post Share on other sites
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