Chi townD Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 I feel like if I play the silent treatment, eventually she'll leave me alone. And honestly, I feel like I would regret that. Or maybe I don't know what's best for me. It's just hard when you love somebody so much and genuinely want a future with that person. What future? With a girl that will break up with you when she wants an itch scratched by someone else. Technically, she isn't cheating!!!!!! And comes running back when she gets that itch scratched. She's done that to you 4 times already!! Do you really want to get played like that! Continue NC. Believe me, there are girls out there that don't play these kinds of games. Link to post Share on other sites
sun_moon Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 lalalandman, Kind of same situation....at the moment, check my post. FYI, while I ended up talking to him briefly (because of the money), re contact is painful. I mean it could have been a lot worse, because last time we talked almost 3 weeks ago, it was quite painful, and he was vicious. While I kept my control and showed no emotion, I felt the ripples after the conversation. I'm sadder than usual, and while I'm not where I was at day 1, I do feel like a slight set back. I might have other contributing factors, like being on vacation a week and never being alone and always being distracted, to being back to reality, the hum and glum of everyday, working, and things slowing down. Either way, I am recalling the conversation and he is on my mind more. (still dont have the money lol) Just to give you an idea. I know how badly you want to say what you want to say, I feel the same way, but holding back is really best. I think if I'm going to stay sad like this, I'm going to have to write an unsent letter.... Try that. But keep your NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lalalandman Posted May 31, 2011 Author Share Posted May 31, 2011 You know, mostly what I'm hearing makes sense. It's a concoction of advice that steers the same direction. All I know is I do not plan on intiating contact. I'm not sure what she wants, but if it's reconciliation, then currently I'm open ears. If she plans on contacting me in an effort to hurt me, then I'll take further measures to cut contact. Unfortunately she is immature in that way. I hope she doesnt go that route, for her own sake. I had a dream last night that she called to tell me about a new guy in her life and I woke up at 130am. I know I owe myself respect and if there's any chance for reconciliation, this is mandatory. Otherwise I'm digging my own grave. We'll just have to see how this plays out and I'll need to play it by ear. Link to post Share on other sites
WiseOne1 Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 I think this girl doesn't want you with anyone else, she's the jealous type. Link to post Share on other sites
tyler123 Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 lalalandman and exit and all the rest- I too am in the same boat. My ex - she was a commitment phobe- Hell she had her tampoons, a key and toothbrush at my place- but to make herself feel better she never referred to me as her boyfriend. I have done the dance for 4yrs, and thought the circumstances were a tad different the general premise was the same- I allowed her to come and go as she pleased and kept hoping that the light bulb would go off in her head and stay there consistently that she was with the right guy-however in 4 yrs she was consistently inconsistent - i was miserable 80% of the time because i know now I compromised my integrity- i do deserve more but those are just words- this is about execution. I did the NC for about 3 weeks, until she called and left a couple of voice mails- again i thought she became more clear on wanting me in her life, so i caved and let her back in- she came and went. the nc works, and i can see through experience of all of you and me that when i rationalize engaging with her i take 2 steps back EVERYTIME without fail- sure i might get a small dose but it's the same story. I read something great that I framed and it's in my face and helping so much and hope it helps all of you. REVEALING YOUR GREATNESS REQUIRES MOMENTS OF PAIN. AND SINCE OUR HUMAN NATURE IS TO RUN FROM IT, WE MUST MAKE A CONTRACT WITH OURSELVES TO GO THRU THE HURT, NO MATTER WHAT!!!! TODAY, RENEGOTIATE YOUR CONTRACT, AN COMMIT TO GOING THROUGH THE DISCOMFORT IN ORDER TO BECOME GREAT... Link to post Share on other sites
whatdoido1717 Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 REVEALING YOUR GREATNESS REQUIRES MOMENTS OF PAIN. AND SINCE OUR HUMAN NATURE IS TO RUN FROM IT, WE MUST MAKE A CONTRACT WITH OURSELVES TO GO THRU THE HURT, NO MATTER WHAT!!!! TODAY, RENEGOTIATE YOUR CONTRACT, AN COMMIT TO GOING THROUGH THE DISCOMFORT IN ORDER TO BECOME GREAT... Just copied and pasted that onto my desktop. Good to hear from you tyler, hope you are well. Sorry about the Bulls buddy. Link to post Share on other sites
tyler123 Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 whatdoido- i have missed ya man glad you found that inspiring!!! so like everything else i have to make the same repeated mistakes- i took the bait and it was a short lived bite- started back to square one officially sat. was first day of NC. putting in as much effort into my commitment to go through this ONCE AND FOR ALL; as i did clinging for hope that we would be together.. U seem to be doing well, i read our board last week and you sounded great.. so proud of you and the progress. BUlls depressed me. GO DALLAS Link to post Share on other sites
Author lalalandman Posted May 31, 2011 Author Share Posted May 31, 2011 Hey I just wanted to thank everyone for all the support. Right now, I'm going to bail on Loveshack. I've gotten all the advice I need and know what I need to do (and what not to do). So I just want to wish everyone good luck, and thanks again. As a matter of fact, this has been the most helpful site I've encountered. Thanks so much Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts