Dumped by a narcissist gf

[prz1988]

Hi guys, around a month ago I was dumped by a girl who I had been with for approx 7 months, without warning just out of the blue. It is quite possibly the most difficult breakup I have endured in my entire life, though I am much better then I was when it initially happened, I do have some days thinking back about the good times and feeling upset and alone.

 

I was totally blinded by my infactuation for her and could not see the subtle moves made by her during the relationship. I must warn you guys, people like this should be avoided like the plague, you will ALWAYS come out hurt in the end, and they will continue like nothing has ever happened and move onto thier next victim.

 

The following traits you should watch out for while in a relationship with such an individual:

 

1) If she did not get her way, she would use sex as a tool to get me to do what she wanted.

2) No matter what I did for her, it was never good enough for her.

3) I was bombarded by gifts, phone calls, her telling me she loves me and how she has never met a more handsome and perfect man then me in her entire life, and how she wanted to have children with me and get married.

4) She was addicted to conflict and drama, we were always getting into arguments for the most petty things, I would remain passive and she would be doing most of the shouting and chipping away at my self-esteem by calling me names.

5) I always felt like I was on eggshells with her, saying the wrong thing or mentioning a person she did not like would spark an argument, so I avoided bringing up certain topics.

6) She isolated me away from friends and family by telling me they did not care about me and would constantly drill this into my head.

7) She lacked any kind of empathy.

 

I could continue with the list forever, but guys/girls if you feel you are in a unhealthy relationship you need to get out of it, before you get really hurt! Search narcissistic personality disorder and read up about it, at first I blamed myself for the downfall of the relationship, but now I have started to heal and understand that I tried my best and tried to repair this relationship and be there for her, but in time this would of happened anyway and I would of been hurt regardless.

[2011]

prz1988

 

I think I experienced a similar type of person and yes it was a truly horrendous BU for me, still haunted by it after 6 months. In saying that my EX "only" had the "qualities" (2, 5, 6, 7).

 

You are right it is best to get away from it before it damages you irreparably. What is your post BU story did you try and get her back and she was nonchalant, not caring, almost hating you and ignoring you?

 

2011

[Tony T]

The following traits you should watch out for while in a relationship with such an individual:

 

1) If she did not get her way, she would use sex as a tool to get me to do what she wanted.

2) No matter what I did for her, it was never good enough for her.

3) I was bombarded by gifts, phone calls, her telling me she loves me and how she has never met a more handsome and perfect man then me in her entire life, and how she wanted to have children with me and get married.

4) She was addicted to conflict and drama, we were always getting into arguments for the most petty things, I would remain passive and she would be doing most of the shouting and chipping away at my self-esteem by calling me names.

5) I always felt like I was on eggshells with her, saying the wrong thing or mentioning a person she did not like would spark an argument, so I avoided bringing up certain topics.

6) She isolated me away from friends and family by telling me they did not care about me and would constantly drill this into my head.

7) She lacked any kind of empathy.

 

You were very lucky to have been bombarded by gifts. Narcissists usually give the very least of anything in order to get their needs met. You are dead on about everything here. Usually narcissists aren't the ones to end a relationship unless there is nothing else to get out of it. Surely you saw many of the danger signs early on...but, then again, she knew just how to reel you back if she felt the slightest bit uneasy that you were fixing to take an exit.

 

Count your lucky stars you're out of this. The biggest danger for most people is there is no way of knowing if a person is a narcissist until the relationship has seasoned a bit and often then it's too late.

[J0N]

Sounds a little bit like my ex. I felt like she was addicted to drama and conflict. I was pretty sad about the breakup and how the past several months have gone. I am ultimately glad though that that relationship ran its course and I didn't have kids with her or get any more serious.