The best post i have ever seen on affairs. READ

[DanY2J]

Ijust want to say that i did not write this but it has helped me so much and i hope it does you too:-

 

 

If I had toget on my knees to beg you NOT to do one thing in your life it would be this –having an affair with a married person. I've read that in the US 56% of married men and 54% of married women have extramarital affairs and that in the US alone almost 50% of all marriages fail. Speaking from experience, having an affairwith a married person is the single most stupid thing you will ever do. Period.If you want to lose all the dignity you ever had, lose your self-worth and wreck people's lives on top of your own then please go ahead.

 

I will be brutally honest here; You are stupid if you do. Affairs with married people often happen due to purely selfish desire and due to sheer boredom. Itwill hurt you. You will not come out of it well. An opportunity is presented toyou and you are too greedy to say no and walk away. Sex with a married personis dramatic, passionate, open, stimulating and very exciting. That is when you get it. For the married person it is all these things plus a release from the mundane situation they find themselves in; a release from the boring sex, unhappy marriage, and drudgery of daily life. And none of it will last.

 

As a single person I have had an affair with a married woman and it was a disaster for me. She hurt me through her constant deceit. She lied almost everyday either to her husband or to me. She made promises she couldn't keep. Sheprovided an endless gauntlet of creative excuses. She unrelentingly played manipulative games and she forced me to be many things I was not. At the end ofthe affair, I walked away with a wasted year of my life, a broken heart,nothing of substance, too many lonely weekends, no vacations and a sense ofworthlessness. I hated her for what she had done. I tell you this only as a warning because I too was as sensible as you are.

 

The problem with dating a married person when you are single is that you remain single throughout the affair. You are NOT a couple, let me repeat that, you arenot a couple so don't fool yourself. Sure you may act like a couple when youare together, but you aren't. In the very beginning you will see quite a lot of your new lover. Secret dates will be established and the excitement will make you feel alive. But as soon as the guilt sets in for your married lover, excuses will develop and you will be kept hanging on, but expected to be ever available just in case they can make it. It's a subtle process and by the time yourealize it, it's often too late to save your heart.

 

Oh yes, you will never be without a phone on the off chance that your loverwill call. They want to see you but you must understand that it's not easy forthem. And as you except yet another excuse you will be praised for just how understanding you are. You have just become a saint and a martyr. In the meantime they will be tucked in bed, snuggled with their other half trying to fix things. Of course they won't tell you that, they wouldn't want to hurt you.You will have to endure endless months of discussing what it will be like when you are together (which you can almost be assured you never will be) and you will face comparisons with their spouse at every turn, even if they never vocalize it.

 

You will be expected to be available, just in case, because one can never tell when your crutch-like strength will be required. And you will be expected to be thankful for any small morsel of time you are given. They will insist that the evening you had a 4 weeks last Tuesday was a great deal for them to arrange so be grateful and that you should just hang on for them if you love them. And so it goes on, day after day and month after month. Of course the key thing that makes your affair different from everyone else's is that it is 'different',right? Your passion and love is almost unique, your connection is that of soulmates and you know they are in a terrible marriage and they made a mistake and you will be perfect together. In other words, you will begin to make excuses whenever possible to justify the situation and actions - just a little more time and things will be fantastic.

 

No one else can possibly understand what you both are going through and so you will withdraw from some of your friends, partly because they'll strongly disapprove of what you are doing. Your weekends will be wasted as will vacations because whilst you are alone waiting at home for the phone to ring.Meanwhile, they will be at social functions and parties and all kinds ofdomestic events that you would die to have with them but are never afforded the opportunity of having. You trust your lover implicitly. After all you are in this together. The thing is your entire relationship is already founded on deceit. And if they can do it to their spouse, they can also do it to you. And most likely, eventually will.

 

You see, if your lover was going to leave their partner they would have toleave for themselves and not for you. If they are going to do it for themselves it will be much sooner rather than later. Think about it. When something benefits you; happiness, health, self-worth, a better life for you or your family, whichever, whatever - How long does it take for you to react to it andto grab on to it with both hands? If they haven't become single or made plans towards becoming single within say 12 weeks they probably never will. They must leave not for you but for their own reasons. If they leave for you, you will beheld silently accountable in future every time life is not perfect. And for all you know, they may always be looking backwards with a half-glance and all thatthey left behind.

 

Walk away as fast as possible in the opposite direction and keep walking. Neverfool yourself here, an affair with a married person is a complete waste of timein 99% of cases. A very few do make it through but almost all don't. You will have absolutely no idea as to what your married lover is going through and you will be nothing more than light relief to something far more serious. You will lose self-respect because you are sharing your lover, you are falling in love with someone you cannot have, you are second best most of the time and you willbe extremely lonely. Most of the evenings will not be with your loved one so your relationship cannot grow, much of what you do will be based around sex notlove. Your relationship will be extremely intense but will be sporadic and unfulfilling. As a woman you will be made to feel cheap and may even fallpregnant in which case your situation has just become even more highly complex.

 

The thing I cannot stress enough is how much you will be lied to. The person you love will be telling you lies almost constantly. It is not that they are essentially bad, it is that they will over time get used to lying to spare feelings whilst protecting themselves and their marriage. And do remember thatin the midst of such emotional turmoil, they will have no option but to start considering only themselves. In the end they will find lying to everyone second nature, even though it may be cutting them up emotionally. A married lover simply wants to sit on the fence and never make a decision. They want you to decide for them, which of course you cannot. You could demand that they leavetheir partner for you once and for all, but in doing so you are now standing inthe firing line.

 

The simple question I will ask is that if you really do value yourself and understand yourself and if you truly believe that there are some truly great single people out there, why would you waste your life on a married person? For all these words, people will continue to learn from their own mistakes and in doingso pass on their valuable lessons to others. But for the sake of someshort-term relationship, maybe even passionate sex, you truly could be risking everything. I hope that you have the wisdom to walk away and not look back.

 

My thanks to my one time married affair. She taught me a great deal about life,trust and the true meaning of friendship.

 

I've learned that life is to short to waste waiting around. I learned to becareful with whom I trust and entrust with my heart to. And, most importantly,deceit, manipulation, and game playing, have NO place in friendship.

 

Walk away. I did. Maybe I'm not so bad after all.

Edited May 30, 2011 by DanY2J

[TigerCub]

That's a fantastic post, it speaks so much truth!

 

Thanks for sharing

 

p.s. where the hell was that post a year ago??

haha just kidding, I was so in love I thought we really were different, nothing could have really saved me then - I needed to learn the hard way ... but I did learn!

[HappinessSeeker]

This is a great post. Thanks for sharing. I can relate to everything that is being said in it. What's sad is that many will still read that and think that their situation is "different", I know because I was one of them. I'm now in the phase of trying to move on and even though this has been a very heart breaking experience I've learned a lot about myself, and I think it will make me a better person in the end.

[East7]

 

At the end ofthe affair, I walked away with a wasted year of my life, a broken heart,nothing of substance, too many lonely weekends, no vacations and a sense ofworthlessness. I hated her for what she had done. I tell you this only as a warning because I too was as sensible as you are.

 

True in my case too. 1,5 yers of my life wasted waiting for an happy ending that never happened.

 

Another aspect of the affairs is also that you isolate yourself becasue all your drug and addiction are her telephone calls and you dont want to waste that exiting moment full of "i love you's -- I miss you-s"

 

The problem with dating a married person when you are single is that you remain single throughout the affair. You are NOT a couple, let me repeat that, you arenot a couple so don't fool yourself. Sure you may act like a couple when youare together, but you aren't. In the very beginning you will see quite a lot of your new lover. Secret dates will be established and the excitement will make you feel alive. But as soon as the guilt sets in for your married lover, excuses will develop and you will be kept hanging on, but expected to be ever available just in case they can make it. It's a subtle process and by the time yourealize it, it's often too late to save your heart.

This so true too ! I almost wanted to cry when i read this : we would walk arm in arm and she would behave like she was my wife, lean her head over my shoulder and talking talking.... and i was sooo happy....it is so sad when i look back at those moments now. The reality was that we weren't a couple, we were just the projection of our fantasy.

 

Oh yes, you will never be without a phone on the off chance that your lover will call.

omg... I would almost go to take my shower with my cell just in case.. And madam would be mad if i didn't answer in the next 5 minutes !

 

 

They want to see you but you must understand that it's not easy for them.

Oh yes, this too, it is so hard to lie. So hard fro her to arrange a meeting with you...You are single you dont understand, you are such a selfish lover

 

You have just become a saint and a martyr. In the meantime they will be tucked in bed, snuggled with their other half trying to fix things. Of course they won't tell you that, they wouldn't want to hurt you.

Now I wonder how could i love so much a woman that would go to bed everynight with another man.

 

And you will be expected to be thankful for any small morsel of time you are given.

This was so freaking true ! I was supposed to be greatful for every second she would spend with me either on phone or on the phone, unless i was so selfish. She would never care me waiting for her, hoping for her, it was ALL about her !

 

They will insist that the evening you had a 4 weeks last Tuesday was a great deal for them to arrange so be grateful and that you should just hang on for them if you love them. And so it goes on, day after day and month after month. Of course the key thing that makes your affair different from everyone else's is that it is 'different',right? Your passion and love is almost unique, your connection is that of soulmates and you know they are in a terrible marriage and they made a mistake and you will be perfect together.

I was badly convinced ours was special too.

 

 

No one else can possibly understand what you both are going through and so you will withdraw from some of your friends, partly because they'll strongly disapprove of what you are doing. Your weekends will be wasted as will vacations because whilst you are alone waiting at home for the phone to ring.Meanwhile, they will be at social functions and parties and all kinds ofdomestic events that you would die to have with them but are never afforded the opportunity of having. You trust your lover implicitly. After all you are in this together. The thing is your entire relationship is already founded on deceit. And if they can do it to their spouse, they can also do it to you. And most likely, eventually will.

 

You see, if your lover was going to leave their partner they would have toleave for themselves and not for you. If they are going to do it for themselves it will be much sooner rather than later. Think about it. When something benefits you; happiness, health, self-worth, a better life for you or your family, whichever, whatever - How long does it take for you to react to it andto grab on to it with both hands? If they haven't become single or made plans towards becoming single within say 12 weeks they probably never will. They must leave not for you but for their own reasons. If they leave for you, you will beheld silently accountable in future every time life is not perfect. And for all you know, they may always be looking backwards with a half-glance and all thatthey left behind.

Unfortunately you have to go through lots of deception and pain before realizing this.

BTW, the average leaving transition is statistically within 3 months - when they leave. Experience and observation say that when they dont move out quickly they will probably never will.

 

Walk away as fast as possible in the opposite direction and keep walking. Neverfool yourself here, an affair with a married person is a complete waste of timein 99% of cases. A very few do make it through but almost all don't. You will have absolutely no idea as to what your married lover is going through and you will be nothing more than light relief to something far more serious. You will lose self-respect because you are sharing your lover, you are falling in love with someone you cannot have, you are second best most of the time and you willbe extremely lonely. Most of the evenings will not be with your loved one so your relationship cannot grow, much of what you do will be based around sex notlove. Your relationship will be extremely intense but will be sporadic and unfulfilling.

So true too. the few moments i spent with her were extremely intense, I would have a lump in my throat each time i would meet her. On the top of all we were in a long-distance A and the moments we would meet were crazy emotional. I have never felt this in my whole life !

 

For me it was short, intense BUT frustrating and unfullfilling. It was too painful to see her go back to her home and H. I prefer be alone for the rest of my life rather than feel that kind of pain again. Affairs are incredibly painful, most of the time even more than a regular relationship.

[Gentlegirl]

That is a very impressive post! It encapsulates everything that I have ever felt about xMM and the affair.

 

So glad to hear that you are walking far far away from her.

 

Keep going......That girl that gets you in the future will be very lucky! Wi

 

Gentlegirl

[FightClub]

So true on so many levels, experience is what we use to determine a better future for ourselves.

 

All the best!

 

-FC

[daisy love]

Sorry your A didn't work out. Sorry your so sour grapes over it. Mine is

You know sometimes the MM will LOVE you enough to DO what they SAY they are going to do! Sometimes they REALLY DO LEAVE!

[Got it]

While I sympathize with the OP's story, I do not agree with the declarative statements. Not all affairs turn out as such. But I am sorry for any pain the OP went through. That sounds like an awful situation.

[OWoman]

Speaking from experience, having an affairwith a married person is the single most stupid thing you will ever do. Period.If you want to lose all the dignity you ever had, lose your self-worth and wreck people's lives on top of your own then please go ahead.

 

It was quite possibly the most positive, life-changing thing I ever did. Nothing stupid about it. Certainly it did nothing to my dignity or self-worth, and the only person whose life could have been "wrecked" brought that on herself through her own actions, not through mine.

 

I will be brutally honest here; You are stupid if you do. Affairs with married people often happen due to purely selfish desire and due to sheer boredom.

 

Often, perhaps, but certainly not always. Probably not even mostly. Just because this person had a bad experience, they assume that everyone else will also. That is an extremely narcissistic view! Just because my A worked out brilliantly, I don't assume that everyone else's will - adults are generally able to recognise that their own experience isn't every one else's. Perhaps the writer's inability to conceive of a viewpoint other than their own points to a personality problem that led to their making such poor choices, and bringing such consequences on themselves because of their lack of maturity?

 

Itwill hurt you. You will not come out of it well.

 

Actually, I did. Brilliantly.

 

Sex with a married personis dramatic, passionate, open, stimulating and very exciting. That is when you get it. For the married person it is all these things plus a release from the mundane situation they find themselves in; a release from the boring sex, unhappy marriage, and drudgery of daily life. And none of it will last.

 

Perhaps it won't last - we all die sometime - but it's lasted six years and counting, and just gets better and better. I'd rather have those six years and counting of bliss than the bitterness the writer is wallowing in.

 

As a single person I have had an affair with a married woman and it was a disaster for me.

 

... and can't conceive that anyone else's experience might be different - a lesson most kids learn in primary school. Therapy, I reckon...

 

She hurt me through her constant deceit. She lied almost everyday either to her husband or to me. She made promises she couldn't keep. Sheprovided an endless gauntlet of creative excuses. She unrelentingly played manipulative games and she forced me to be many things I was not. At the end ofthe affair, I walked away with a wasted year of my life, a broken heart,nothing of substance, too many lonely weekends, no vacations and a sense ofworthlessness. I hated her for what she had done. I tell you this only as a warning because I too was as sensible as you are.

 

Nope, "you" are nothing like me, however much you might want to assume so. Your experience is nothing like mine.

 

The problem with dating a married person when you are single is that you remain single throughout the affair. You are NOT a couple, let me repeat that, you arenot a couple so don't fool yourself. Sure you may act like a couple when youare together, but you aren't. In the very beginning you will see quite a lot of your new lover. Secret dates will be established and the excitement will make you feel alive. But as soon as the guilt sets in for your married lover, excuses will develop and you will be kept hanging on, but expected to be ever available just in case they can make it. It's a subtle process and by the time yourealize it, it's often too late to save your heart.

 

Oh yes, you will never be without a phone on the off chance that your loverwill call. They want to see you but you must understand that it's not easy forthem. And as you except yet another excuse you will be praised for just how understanding you are. You have just become a saint and a martyr. In the meantime they will be tucked in bed, snuggled with their other half trying to fix things. Of course they won't tell you that, they wouldn't want to hurt you.You will have to endure endless months of discussing what it will be like when you are together (which you can almost be assured you never will be) and you will face comparisons with their spouse at every turn, even if they never vocalize it.

 

You will be expected to be available, just in case, because one can never tell when your crutch-like strength will be required. And you will be expected to be thankful for any small morsel of time you are given. They will insist that the evening you had a 4 weeks last Tuesday was a great deal for them to arrange so be grateful and that you should just hang on for them if you love them. And so it goes on, day after day and month after month. Of course the key thing that makes your affair different from everyone else's is that it is 'different',right? Your passion and love is almost unique, your connection is that of soulmates and you know they are in a terrible marriage and they made a mistake and you will be perfect together. In other words, you will begin to make excuses whenever possible to justify the situation and actions - just a little more time and things will be fantastic.

 

No one else can possibly understand what you both are going through and so you will withdraw from some of your friends, partly because they'll strongly disapprove of what you are doing. Your weekends will be wasted as will vacations because whilst you are alone waiting at home for the phone to ring.Meanwhile, they will be at social functions and parties and all kinds ofdomestic events that you would die to have with them but are never afforded the opportunity of having. You trust your lover implicitly. After all you are in this together. The thing is your entire relationship is already founded on deceit. And if they can do it to their spouse, they can also do it to you. And most likely, eventually will.

 

None of the above was remotely true for me. I'm sorry that the writer allowed himself to be such a doormat, and had such a bad experience, but I wish he'd grow the maturity to recognise that his experience is his alone, and isn't some universal truth. It would help him a great deal in any future relationship he has... if he's able to stop wallowing in his self-pity long enough to try to make himself at least a little bit attractive to women.

 

You see, if your lover was going to leave their partner they would have toleave for themselves and not for you. If they are going to do it for themselves it will be much sooner rather than later. Think about it. When something benefits you; happiness, health, self-worth, a better life for you or your family, whichever, whatever - How long does it take for you to react to it andto grab on to it with both hands? If they haven't become single or made plans towards becoming single within say 12 weeks they probably never will.

 

What utter rubbish! By that token, my H would still be M to his xW.

 

They must leave not for you but for their own reasons. If they leave for you, you will beheld silently accountable in future every time life is not perfect. And for all you know, they may always be looking backwards with a half-glance and all thatthey left behind.

 

:lmao: Any more cliche's to wheel out? :lmao:

 

 

 

You will lose self-respect because you are sharing your lover, you are falling in love with someone you cannot have, you are second best most of the time and you willbe extremely lonely. Most of the evenings will not be with your loved one so your relationship cannot grow, much of what you do will be based around sex notlove. Your relationship will be extremely intense but will be sporadic and unfulfilling. As a woman you will be made to feel cheap and may even fallpregnant in which case your situation has just become even more highly complex.

 

Yet more cliches.... And very far from the truth, IME

 

The thing I cannot stress enough is how much you will be lied to. The person you love will be telling you lies almost constantly. It is not that they are essentially bad, it is that they will over time get used to lying to spare feelings whilst protecting themselves and their marriage. And do remember thatin the midst of such emotional turmoil, they will have no option but to start considering only themselves. In the end they will find lying to everyone second nature, even though it may be cutting them up emotionally.

 

Again, this could not be further from the truth, IME. There was no lying.

 

A married lover simply wants to sit on the fence and never make a decision. They want you to decide for them, which of course you cannot. You could demand that they leavetheir partner for you once and for all, but in doing so you are now standing inthe firing line.

 

This writer really is stuck (mentally and emotionally) in primary school. I'm surprised he could find anyone - even a desperate MW just out for some "boredom alleviation" - remotely interested.

 

Maybe I'm not so bad after all.

 

Even worse than you think, but I'm sure a good therapist could help!

[skywriter]

That was a very informative post and it includes my experiences of being in an affair. I do understand, that not all affairs, turn out that way. I think, for some of those more fortunant souls, that the person was looking for an exit or was in the process of exiting his or her marriage anyway.

 

For those of us that find ourselves being the one "used" out of boredom , we can relate and appreciate your post because we understand it so well.

So thank you!!!!!

[donnamaybe]

Unfortunately, for many already embroiled in an A it's too late for them to read this. They already have their head in a certain place, and they refuse to listen to anything remotely resembling common sense.

[Mimolicious]

Just because this person had a bad experience, they assume that everyone else will also. That is an extremely narcissistic view! Just because my A worked out brilliantly, I don't assume that everyone else's will - adults are generally able to recognise that their own experience isn't every one else's. Perhaps the writer's inability to conceive of a viewpoint other than their own points to a personality problem that led to their making such poor choices, and bringing such consequences on themselves because of their lack of maturity?

 

So you're calling the OP immature because he didn't have a possitive outcome in an A? So you're the epitome of maturity because your A worked out brilliantly? Consider yourself "lucky" but falls short from the norm.

 

Your post above-Reverse all the negatives into postives and vice versa... you get the drill.

 

Hilarious, how some people fail to apply their opinions and views on their own situations. You're doing almost the same as the OP.

[OWoman]

So you're calling the OP immature because he didn't have a possitive outcome in an A? So you're the epitome of maturity because your A worked out brilliantly? Consider yourself "lucky" but falls short from the norm.

 

Your post above-Reverse all the negatives into postives and vice versa... you get the drill.

 

Hilarious, how some people fail to apply their opinions and views on their own situations. You're doing almost the same as the OP.

 

You obviously did not read my post very well or you'd have seen that I stated very clearly:

 

Just because my A worked out brilliantly, I don't assume that everyone else's will - adults are generally able to recognise that their own experience isn't every one else's.

 

... which was my point. I do not universalise my experience. Like most adults, I am able to accept that my experience is not everybody's. The writer of the piece that was quoted in the OP clearly lacks that ability.

[OWoman]

So you're calling the OP immature because he didn't have a possitive outcome in an A?

 

I did not call the OP anything. I called the WRITER of the piece quote in the OP immature (the OP states clearly he did not write that piece) because he cannot comprehend that his experience is not everybody's - a skill most adults learn early on. I further speculated that this lack of maturity may have contributed to his relationship problems - which is quite possible. Few people like others assuming that they know what they feel or think, and telling them what they feel or think, instead of bothering to listen to what the other person actually thinks or feels. I could easily understand how such a person would struggle in a R.

[herenow]

Sorry your A didn't work out. Sorry your so sour grapes over it. Mine is

You know sometimes the MM will LOVE you enough to DO what they SAY they are going to do! Sometimes they REALLY DO LEAVE!

 

Yes, if a MM loves an OW enough, they will leave. I believe that to be true.

 

Is it at all possible for you to have some compassion for those who are not as fortunate as you are? You get so angry when someone (OW or BS) comes here to voice the pain they experienced because of an affair. Why does that bother you so much? This is a support forum is it not? Why do you have a problem with people admitting that affairs don't work most of the time? No one ever said they never work out.

 

Calling people bitter or saying they have sour grapes is not supportive. Are you able to see beyond your own experience? Or, are you too selfish to accept that affairs can cause pain to everyone involved? The proof is in the posts here at LS and on many other sites.

Edited May 31, 2011 by herenow

[donnamaybe]

I'm sure that if someone jumps off a high place without a parachute, MOST of the time (but not all) they will be terribly hurt.

 

Therefore, I would always advise people to NOT jump off a high place without a parachute.

[herenow]

Oh Step OFF Bitch!

You already done been "Boo Ya" ed!

You just hatin

 

Jealous much?!!

 

 

haha, sorry, couldn't help myself.

 

Oh right back at ya, you feline. You just can't handle the truth!

[TigerCub]

Oh right back at ya, you feline. You just can't handle the truth!

 

Oh what-eva...

my man, he a musician...he gonna make me his baby momma

 

we gone live in his house and watch Jersey Shore - yeah, you just Jealous!...

 

 

haha, ok, that's just mean on my part - I'll stop...Nnnnn...ow!

[herenow]

Oh what-eva...

my man, he a musician...he gonna make me his baby momma

 

we gone live in his house and watch Jersey Shore - yeah, you just Jealous!...

 

 

haha, ok, that's just mean on my part - I'll stop...Nnnnn...ow!

 

Oh hell no. He is my man. And, I'm already his baby momma #7. So, that's my situation biotch.

[TigerCub]

Oh hell no. He is my man. And, I'm already his baby momma #7. So, that's my situation biotch.

 

haha, oh damn your herenow!!!

that's funny, but I can't play anymore, I actually feel bad now...aawww I made myself feel bad

 

have a nice day

[herenow]

haha, oh damn your herenow!!!

that's funny, but I can't play anymore, I actually feel bad now...aawww I made myself feel bad

 

have a nice day

 

Yeah we should stop. You have a good one too. I'm off to the hairdressers to get my Snookiedo.

 

OK, done now.

[TigerCub]

Yeah we should stop. You have a good one too. I'm off to the hairdressers to get my Snookiedo.

 

OK, done now.

 

haha, yeah its kinda hard to stop eh

 

ok....back to the adult world

[Mimolicious]

I did not call the OP anything. I called the WRITER of the piece quote in the OP immature (the OP states clearly he did not write that piece) because he cannot comprehend that his experience is not everybody's - a skill most adults learn early on. I further speculated that this lack of maturity may have contributed to his relationship problems - which is quite possible. Few people like others assuming that they know what they feel or think, and telling them what they feel or think, instead of bothering to listen to what the other person actually thinks or feels. I could easily understand how such a person would struggle in a R.

 

 

My bad- I missed the bolded part at his opening. Thought it was part of the quoting feature, didn't read it. So sorry...

[donnamaybe]

My bad- I missed the bolded part at his opening. Thought it was part of the quoting feature, didn't read it. So sorry...

Still... SOMEONE had to have written that piece.

[half_ofa_heart]

This post has touched me so profoundly that words cannot describe. I've read it at least 10 times just in the last 2 hours! I only wish I would have read it 2 years ago! It honestly needs to be pinned (be the first post when coming to the OM/OW forum!

 

It's like a smoker telling someone to never ever smoke... You don't realize how much it takes over and ruins your life until you are already addicted. I thought I was soooo in control and knew we were just friends. I am a fool!

 

Truly an amazing post that everyone who is considering entering into an affair should read. And no! yours isn't going to be different! Yours is going to be exactly like everyone elses. And... you will end up hurt just like everyone does!