Any Remote Chance Here?

[az5654]

I was married to my wife in May of 2005. She has two girls from a previous. Shortly after we married, we agreed that she would be a “stay-at-home” mom. January of 2008 we had a beautiful boy together. June of 2008 I lost my decent paying job, which severely rocked our world. During my 13 months of unemployment, we agreed that she would re-enter the work force as we were in dire need of income. The bills piling up and a couple of foreclosure attempts added to the stress. She returned back to work in November of 2008 and I returned in July of 2009 – working for the same company. After I lost my job, depression, anger, and frustration began to spill over into the family. It got to the point were I withdrew from the family and just didn’t want to be around them. The family splintered, each going their separate ways. The girls going to their rooms and my wife and son going to the master bedroom to watch TV. While I watched TV somewhere else or spent useless time on the internet.

 

Three years of that took a toll on my wife as she continued to give and give of herself in an effort to make me happy – to the point that she was putting me first above the needs of the kids! Basically, I sucked the well dry.

 

This past February we separated where I moved out. The entire separation process has not been easy to say the least. She filed for divorce last week and along with that, my worse fears were confirmed as I gave way to temptation and looked in her journal. She is already physically involved with another man and this guy has told her that he loves her and is ready to take on all three kids! “A partner for life”, she wrote! I thought, “Damn! That was awfully fast! How could a rebound like that even work???” She’s going to ask him to move in once I get a job, find a place and get my belongings out of there! I completely lashed out at her and said some very ugly things just to inflict as much pain as I could.

 

I know she’s extremely tight on money as paying the mortgage is difficult, along with the other bills and obligations. I also learned that there are already things that she doesn’t like about this new guy.

 

I have concerns about my step girls seeing this as he apparently spends time at the house (and in my bed!). I think what kind of message are these girls, which are 14 and 10, getting? My son is now 3 years old and doesn’t really understand what is going on. So in a sense, his age is a blessing.

 

Obviously, my concerns need to be with my son. And to move on with my life as she has chosen some very questionable ways to move on with hers. Needless to say, this is extremely crushing and the grief and pain is all very fresh.

 

After all that has transpired and once the dust has settled, could there be any remote chance of reconciliation efforts between my “soon-to-be-ex-wife” and me? Unlike her, I’m in no hurry to jump into another relationship in an effort to hide the pain and failure from this marriage.

Any thoughtful insight would be appreciated. Thanks!

Edited May 30, 2011 by az5654