Aqua066 Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 I think pretty much everyone has made some BIG mistakes post-breakup that they wish they could take back... including me. I think its part of the break-up process I guess. I just wanted to pose two questions to the forum to see what others think 1) What were the mistakes you wish you could take back the most after you broke up with your ex? 2) What are you most proud about since your breakup? I will get it started. Biggest Mistakes 1. Falling for my ex's breadcrumbs after our breakup (even though she was with another guy). In fact I did this three times. We were broken up - she called me, we hung out, had what I thought an awesome time, even had sex, then when the weekend was over... she pulls away and ends up going back to her new boyfriend. 2. Sending her an email at work telling her I didn't understand why she was pulling away from me again and that I still thought we had a future together and other stuff I wish I didn't say... (yea she only responded with a text saying "sory that I hurt you" - never explained why she pulled away from me again for the 3rd time) 3. First time we had our breakup - cried and begged like a pathetic loser on her voicemail. What I'm most proud of 1. After the last time she pulled away from me I sent her one final email that basically stated that I deserved better than this and was walking away for good this time. No sappy **** at all. (she never replied, I have not communicated with her since that email) 2. No contact for 60 days! (since that email). This I'm especially proud of since I do have to work with her (She luckily sits on the other side of the building and I do everything I can not to go to common areas where I might run into her...) But I can tell you this has been tough. There has been some times that I've wanted to contact her but I know it would be a waste of my time and would only open the wounds again and destroy what pride and dignity I have left. So really proud of this accomplishment! Thanks guys! This forum has been great for me. How about anyone else? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aqua066 Posted May 30, 2011 Author Share Posted May 30, 2011 I'd also add to what I'm most proud of since my break up is how much in shape I've gotten over the last three months. I look and feel 300 percent better than I did when me and my ex were together... Link to post Share on other sites
Pikachu Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Like the idea btw Things I Regret 1. I begged and pleaded for her to reconsider even though she was still texting the other guy right infront of me. 2. After I moved out of "our" house I sent her text messages telling her that I thought we were "meant" to be together and I would wait for her. Later to find out she was with the other guy, in "our" house, 2 days after I moved out and showed him all the sappy stuff I wrote. 3. Allowing her to keep my dogs so they didnt have to leave the house. I regret it cause I did nothing wrong but lost them both. TBH i still dont think I could have split them up but she doesnt deserve them. At the time I didnt realize I wouldnt be seeing them again for a longtime. Things Im Proud Of 1. I wrote this long email explaining how I felt about alot of things a few days after I left the house and planned on sending it but my internet went down for 2 days. I didnt get to send it but went to see my dogs and at once realized the house we bought together 5 years ago wasnt mine anymore. In a week it was rearranged, pictures were taken down, remnants of the other man could be seen. Most wouldnt notice but it was my house after all. That night I tried to keep things civil but we ended up arguing and by the end of it she wanted me to leave. That night I erased the email I was gonna send. I wrote a new letter telling her that she was no longer the woman I have loved for 13 years. I wrote that over the last 6 months I watched her become someone that her old self would despise. I ended the letter explaining that one day she will come out of what ever craziness she is experiencing and realize she threw away a family and a man that would stay loyal no matter what occurred and loved her unconditionally. And when that day came she would end up alone and miserable. I havent spoken to her since that day, over 2 months ago. 2. Being able to not contact her on our anniversary yesterday even though every fiber of my being wanted to hear her voice. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 When I was younger I made mistakes after a break up- but not this recent one. My ex broke up with me 2 months ago- and I sent him one email a few days afterward. It was a well crafted letter- no blame casting, anger, begging. Just a mature good bye, agreeing with the decision, taking responsibility for my part, and wishing him well. I've been NC since then. Link to post Share on other sites
J0N Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Yea, not trying to toot my own horn here. But I think I actually handled my breakup pretty well. I was pretty upset (together 2 years, dumped via text). I sent a few texts that day to her saying that I was sad, blah, blah. I wrote her a short note the next morning agreeing with the decision and wishing her well. I set it on her door step with a box of her stuff and I haven't talked to her since (that was over 7 months ago). As far as I know, which isn't very much now. Is that she doesn't even live here anymore. We are totally NC, she could have fell off a cliff and I wouldn't be the wiser now. I strongly doubt that I will EVER hear from her again. Her loss... Link to post Share on other sites
NewMoon2203 Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Things I Regret 1. not listening when she tried to warn me this was coming 2. letting her drag me into the "we're still friends" trap for so long 3. sending her tons of emails and text messages.... Things Im Proud Of 1. ... and this point? still being alive 2. getting the guts to finally tell her i need NC Link to post Share on other sites
usabup Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Things I regret- 1.Trying to deny all the mistakes I had made during the relationship for weeks after we seperated. If I had admitted them the day after she left me, I would have got her back. 2.Begging, pleading, trying to convince her to come back with logic and plotting ways to get her attention for the last two and a half months. Which seems even more crazy when you consider she hasn't contacted me once since the day she left. And she has refused to take so much as a telephone call. While I have prolonged my own pain, she was busy getting on with life. Things I'm proud of- 1. Starting my 60 days of NC (started today) Up till now the longest I have gone is 10 days. 2. This sounds strange, but although I regret begging and pleading, I am also glad I tried everything I could to get her back. Because it means I will never be left wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
victoriaaa Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Id say Quite similar to NewMoon2203 Things I Regret 1. not listening when he tried to warn me this was coming, despite him trying to make it work 2. letting him drag me into the "we're still friends" trap for so long 3. sending him tons of emails and text messages begging for one last chance 4. blaming myself for everything and over analysing 5. lashing out at him Things Im Proud Of 1. Not calling him every single day begging and pleading for a second chance. 2. waiting for him to call me and not calling him 3. trying to keep busy and socialise every day 4. starting nc from today! 5. finding this site to help me get through it. Dont know how strong I will be when the phone next rings though Link to post Share on other sites
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