happilytaken1999 Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 (edited) I just signed up for this site, and really want to keep myself as anon. as possible, but I'd like to get some advice. =] So I'll try to keep this story short. I was dating a guy for 5 years who was always cheating on me, and I left him and got with this wonderful guy that I'm with now. His girlfriend at the time (of 2 years) had just left him to move to another state for her ex. So here we are a year and a half later. We are as happy as can be, and have no contact with either of our exes. The problem we are having is his ex-girlfriend keeps *trying* to get in touch with him/us. At first, I just kinda thought to let it go, its a given that an ex will try to do this. But after a year and a half of my bf telling her to stop and to leave us alone, its getting a little ridiculous. What do I do? Can we get a restraining order? We have changed our phone numbers, we had to block her and her mother on facebook and now i'm starting to feel like I can't trust my friends because we have mutual friends and i'm afraid people are giving out info of our numbers, whereabouts. My boyfriend has said to her several times--Do not contact me, I'm with her now and i'm Happy. I want nothing to do with you, leave me alone! We want a restraining order just for the simple fact of getting her to stop annoying us, but I don't think that would be possible. Any thoughts, advice, or anyone else going through this mess? I tried to keep it short as possible with not a lot of info sorry, I'll go in depth more if needed or if anyone finds a good conversation to come about of this, but I didn't want to put a whole long detailed story up here. It's mostly just drama but we tried ignoring her and not even replying to the drama messages, but she doesn't seem to get it? Also--sometimes she will get her friends phones and text us or get on their facebooks and message us. Its really odd. Edited May 31, 2011 by happilytaken1999 forgot something Link to post Share on other sites
Exit Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Wow that's rough. How can someone think behaving like that will actually win someone back. Anyways, I'm not sure how well restraining orders work in terms of digital communication, maybe someone else can chime in about that. But for now, obviously keep her blocked online, block her phone numbers through your service providers, if she uses other peoples phones to bother you that's a little trickier but at least make sure her main numbers are blocked. There are all kinds of apps for cell phones that only let your listed contacts call you, etc. Here's kind of a strange idea that popped into my head... would you and your BF be willing to humor her, actually agree to talk to her some time, let her say whatever the heck she has to say, and see if that would put an end to it? It's great that your BF is saying forget her I'm happy with you and doesn't really seem interested in hearing what she has to say, but maybe in some roundabout way this would get her to chill out. But I do not know her personally, maybe something like this would backfire. Just an idea. Tell her she can call sometime and put her on speakerphone with both of you in the room and figure out what she wants. If she doesn't agree to those terms then say "ok, too bad" and figure out if there is legal action you can take. Link to post Share on other sites
Author happilytaken1999 Posted June 1, 2011 Author Share Posted June 1, 2011 I've actually not thought of that--in that way anyway. I was saying the other night that I should just tell her yeah come on over and say what you have to say. Idk what her problem is. I mean, she left him and he's tried giving her a second chance, but it didn't work out. So he got with me and he's happy. And I've read a few threads on here that are kind of whats going on with me, but not quite the same...but one thing I've seen that is different is that some people are saying the boyfriend is having contact, like out in public and stuff. I know my bf isn't, we are currently laid off from our jobs (slow season), so we are spending as little money as possible, so we just stay home most of the time and when we do go out, its together. So I know for a fact that isn't it. But thanks for the advice...I'll see what he thinks about it. Him and I both agreed to just let it go after the second time it happened and just start ignoring it. (The time she found out our number and texted, she was just calling us drunks and bums and yada yada yada...just starting drama because we don't drink and we had jobs, so just petty stuff) I just thought we are all adults in this situation, its not like i'm in high school anymore, I figured she'd eventually get over it, but I guess not. But I'll let him know about that idea and see what he thinks. Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author happilytaken1999 Posted June 1, 2011 Author Share Posted June 1, 2011 and just a question about this site. can you private message people? if so, how? thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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