manofmystrey Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Hi there I am new to this and was looking for some help......My story is a weird one and its messing with my head....I just got of a very long 7 year relationship.....In a nut shell she used me for money and that was it but thats a seperate issue. My issue is that there is a girl who I have had feeling for like 4 years now. At first I always thought it was just a passing thing but as time went on my feeling grew much stronger. Now for the entire time I was scard to tell her cause I was not sure how she would react. But over the time she has been really close to me a very very good friend and one that I could count on for anything. Now it seems like over time she has given me mixed signals or maybe I am reading too much into it......she sent me a email asking me when I was coming back to the city I grew up in so we can have a beer that we have talked about for years.....She has told me that I am a great guy and I am smart and intelligent and thing that she is always there for me.....Well the people I work with talked me into telling her what I feel about her and so I did. I was worried that she would be upset but she assured me she was not.......She told me she was caught off gaurd and very flattered about my feeling for her and she stated that she was proud of the fact that I had the courage to tell her..... My question is what should I do at this point cause I am not sure.....My heart is telling me to try to woo her but then common sense is telling me if she does not feel the same I should leave it alone. What do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 Listen to your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 maybe woo her, but carefully? did she ever straight out say 'thanks for we can only be friends'? are you SURE she doesn't have any feelings for you? -yes Link to post Share on other sites
krbshappy71 Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 And what did she say in return? Just thanks? No indication of how she felt? She may be trying to straighten it out herself but I would take it slow on the "wooing". I have a great friend that tells me quite often what a great friend I am, how happy he is I looked him up all these years, etc. but we are both involved with someone and as far as I know we are just good friends. It would certainly throw me for a loop if he confessed feelings for me. AND I would be worried about ruining the friendship if I turned him down. I'd say take it slow, send some more emails, feel her out. Go for that beer, what the heck? If you are in person then you will certainly know if she's interested or just appreciating having a nice guy for a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
annaM19 Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 Well by telling her how you feel, you pretty much put the ball in her court. You did what you could and now its her turn to decide if she is gonna make the move. Just take things slow and see how she reacts. Dont read too much into things tho cuz you will just end up driving urself crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
Regulus Posted April 16, 2004 Share Posted April 16, 2004 listen to you heart No No No! If you weren't LJBF'd, ask her out and act like what you said never happened. She knows how you feel so there is no sense bringing it up again... Keep it very casual and light for now. Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted April 16, 2004 Share Posted April 16, 2004 Originally posted by Regulus No No No! If you weren't LJBF'd, ask her out and act like what you said never happened. She knows how you feel so there is no sense bringing it up again... Keep it very casual and light for now. This is my stance as well. The ball is in her court. You told her how you feel, and now it's up to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author manofmystrey Posted April 16, 2004 Author Share Posted April 16, 2004 Thank you all for the advice....Its really helpfull.....As for what she told me.....She told me that she was proud of me for telling her and she told me that she was flattered and that was pretty much it......I dont want to be some crazy nut job that wants to hound her relentlessly.....Should she feel the same about me I want her to do so on her own free will I dont want to press her or make feel pressured........She is a great and wonderful person who has everything that I look for in a partner........As for the ball being in court I agree with that and thats its her move now but I feel kind of bad by springing this on her like this I mean after so many years of friendship.......I have been told that friends that become partners often have great and long and healthy relationships.......I was wondering if anyone has ever been in this situation? If so how would suggest I proceed from here. Link to post Share on other sites
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