My dad drives me crazy.

[hill]

OK...SORRY THIS IS SUPER LONG.

So before I seem like a horrible daughter, I'm really not. I tried and got pushed away.

Basically, my dad is really.... I guess old fashioned? All my life he always sort of ordered my mom and I around. We always had to go make him dinner or go clean his room, go get him whatever he wanted because he believes that's what the job of a women is. Of course I've always hated this- I mean, I don't mind the occasional "can you go get me a glass of water?" But having to do this 20 times a day gets super annoying. So after 19 years of this you can imagine all the anger that has built up inside me. However, I still do these things for him because I figure that I'm his daughter and he's the parent so I have to respect and obey him.. but it gets so annoying and I get pushed away from that.

BUT IT DOES NOT STOP THERE!

He had an affair with my mom since I was about 12. Actually I don't know when it exactly started but It was definitely a long time. One day when I was in high school, maybe in 10th grade I believe, my mom came home, and he literally started yelling at her out of nowhere and kicked her out of our house. So now she has been living with my aunt ever since.

When he kicked her out, he had his girlfriend (another thing that drives me crazy, she's like in her 30's and he's 63!) move in with her two bratty kids. Her son is such a brat! He broke into my room a countless amount of times and stole dvds, my ipod, my camera, and other things I kept in there. He gave my ipod back but never gave back the other things. STILL, this was not enough for my dad to kick them out. FINALLY he broke into my room one last time when I was out with friends and my dad finally kicked them out. So now it's just me and him... but now things are really bad.

He's always been an alcoholic, but it got super bad this year. He hasn't gone back to work all year because of it.

I'VE TRIED TALKING TO HIM ABOUT IT. But he puts the blame on my mom and I, saying we do not care about him anymore and always leave him alone.

OK- yes we do leave him alone. i guess for selfish reasons- but he won't let me study or sleep! I go to a university as a full time student, so I always have a heavy workload and just want to study. BUT HE DOESN'T"T LET ME! He claims i need to give him my attention and keep him company, and that I'm selfish since I always want to do my homework. When he's drunk he always comes into my room when I'm asleep and wakes me up! I never get a good nights sleep when I'm there. He either does that or blasts his music.

SO OF COURSE I DON'T GO OVER ANYMORE. I stay with my mom, since my school is super close and that's much more of a healthy environment.

I go on the weekends, and I try to stay with my dad on the weekdays as much as possible.

He always gets really mad when I go with my mom on the weekends, and guilt trips me or talks crap to my face, saying "I'm selfish, too into myself, and don't care about him"

I CALMLY tell him, "Look dad, you always drink and I can't study or concentrate or even sleep. If you didn't drink I would be happy to stay over."

But he turns it on me! Saying I'm SO selfish, blah blah blah.

 

 

 

I'M LOSING MY MIND. He complains that I don't go over the weekends and don't call him so he's all alone- yes it's true I admit it! But do you blame me? Every time I try calling him he keeps me on the phone for LITERALLY and hour or fourty five minutes talking crap about my mom and how I don't care about him. HE'S ALWAYS RIGHT IN HIS MIND!

 

IDK WHAT TO DO.

Am I really that bad of a person to go with my mom during the weekends?

Should I move out onto my campus? I'd have to take out a big loan and I don't think I want to do that.

 

He also ALWAYS bothers my mom saying that she needs to get back with him because of the oath they took (for better of for worse) and he denies that he cheated. When she calmly says sorry, I just like being on my own now, he talks crap to her too and throws her religion in her face (saying, oh it's because you're Catholic).

 

SO ANNOYING. Am I really selfish or is it natural that I want to stay with my mom on the weekends?! I really don't know what to do. I miss my original home and my bedroom and my cat But I can't stand being there because my dad doesn't give me any time to myself to relax, study or sleep.

 

I really don't know what to do anymore.....

 

ANY ADVICE! PLEASE HELP ME.

 

*By the way, I'm 19! I have a brother but he's moved out, lucky him (he's 24)

 

And asking for his friends and brothers or sisters to go over and visit isn't an option- he pushes all his friends and family away with his negative attitude and views. Even his daughters from his previous marriage don't visit him because he's rude. SO I'm the one that has to deal with everything!

Edited May 31, 2011 by hill

[hill]

Does anyone have ANY advice?? I'm going through a break up too so I really have no idea how to handle this situation too

Thanks for anyone that does I really do apreeciate it!!!