jclorenzo Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Ok, guys i have a ? for all u. Is it too forward for a girl to ask a guy out for a night of drinks and hanging out. And specifying that it is only on a friendship level. So basically asking the guy if he would be up for a fling......? if so how would a girl approach a guy without turning him off? Link to post Share on other sites
marriagesucks Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 hey jc, im not a guy, i just thought your name looked familiar and i think i can put a face with it. i would like to talk to you one on one though. Link to post Share on other sites
manofmystrey Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 As guy I dont think there is away for a girl to ask for a fling and turn him off....But I will warn you about this make sure to let him know its strickly as friends......Guys try to read too much into a girls actions......... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jclorenzo Posted April 14, 2004 Author Share Posted April 14, 2004 What do you mean guys try to read too much into girls actions? please elaborate. Link to post Share on other sites
manofmystrey Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 what I mean is that guys will always think that u are interested and even thought thats not what ur intention maybe.......He may think that there is something more to it other then just a friendship. If you have hung out with him like this in the past then its a different story but if this the first time then u should let him know its like a friend and nothing else and not to expect anything other then what u are willing to offer cause u dont want to get his signals crossed and think something more and mess up the friendship that the two of u have Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 I have always been turned on by aggressive women. I prefer a woman to ask me out, it shows confidence. It also makes it easy on me! Years ago when I was about 27 I was at a bar. There was this woman there (about 35) that I had seen in that bar a few times, but we had never really talked. She approached me and said "I'm looking for some d*ck tonight and your IT". Next thing I know we were at her place doing the wild thing. After about an hour or so of sex she said "Go home, I have to go to work early tomorrow". Why can't every woman be like this!?!? I had sex with her a few more times after that. After the last time she honestly said "Hey I was horny, I hadn't had a man in a while, I'm satisfied, don't come around anymore". No feelings were hurt, we had a good time and some fond memories. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jclorenzo Posted April 14, 2004 Author Share Posted April 14, 2004 Ok, thanks for the advice, however how do I ask without sounding too forward? I do not believe i would really want to ask the way that girl did in your situation. I am just not that forward. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Well, plus it would be on a platonic basis, which WOULD be pretty discouraging. "I want to go out with you, but only as a friend." You'll notice the guy's shoulders slump a little during the second part of that sentence. Guaranteed. But give it a shot anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Jeez, Fred... I gotta give her credit, sounds like there was zero bullsh*t in that hookup. Pretty much to the point. Not a lot of grey area there... nothing to interpret or second guess. Sounds kind of refreshing, actually. Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Any intelligent guy will pick up on the vibe that a girl wants him. compliment him, touch him alot when you talk to him, say a few "naughty things". play it by ear. Link to post Share on other sites
manofmystrey Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 just ask him if he wants to hang out and go have some fun and party........It comes across as friends and he thinks that the two of u are just going to have a few drinks and have fun Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Uhhh... If a girl said to me, "Let's go out for some drinks and party together," that is NOT a "just friends" invite. Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Originally posted by reservoirdog1 Sounds kind of refreshing, actually. yea, too bad this kind of thing only happens once in a man's lifetime!!! Link to post Share on other sites
manofmystrey Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 There are many ways to interpert an invitation.....it all depends on the way she asks him......If she asks in a I wanna be ur girl tyoe of way or in a hey we friends lets hang type of way Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 There can't be any grey areas, no, "Ohhh did she mean THIS?!" kinda stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
manofmystrey Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 I agree there cant be any gray areas but thats something that she needs to make clear at the time that she makes her move to ask him out or asks him to hang out Link to post Share on other sites
reggio Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 There is no good reason for a guy to get turned off if a girl asks him out. Unfortunately, most people stereotype Men and Women, only because they have a lot of growing up to do. I have been asked several times and I was never turned off. If the person asked to go out for drinks, we did. If the person asked to hang out, we did. If the person asked to have sex, we did. If you are clear in what you are asking, then you should only get a clear answer. If the other party misinterprets you and gets offended. Say you are sorry and then leave. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyamI Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Originally posted by jclorenzo Ok, guys i have a ? for all u. Is it too forward for a girl to ask a guy out for a night of drinks and hanging out. And specifying that it is only on a friendship level. So basically asking the guy if he would be up for a fling......? if so how would a girl approach a guy without turning him off? So.. what do you want, really? a fling, a night out with the boys or a start? 'cause you're thinking too much if it's just a couple of beers. As the boys said, he'll get the message if you wanna be his buddy. But... do you? Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyamI Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 hope you don't mind my answering... Link to post Share on other sites
Rightlymia Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 I've noticed lately that guys are handing me their phone #'s and making me call? I'm too much of a wuss for all that..haha! I sooooo couldn't ask a guy out.. Link to post Share on other sites
gypsygem Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 I think you need to make your intension ABSOLUTELY CLEAR to this guy. Guys seem to like it (as proven by this post) when women ask them out only for sex, and don't seem to get attached after sex, like alot of women do. Do you want sex with him, or do you want to be buddies? I know I can't have sex with a guy I don't have any feelings for, and if I do have sex with him, OF COURSE I am going to get attached, and feel betrayed if I find that this is all he wanted from me. I think there is a big difference in the ways women and men perceive sex and dating. Men seem to be able to separate the mental from the physical act of sex, and women seem to attach a more mental view on the act. If a guy were to walk up to me in a bar and tell me all he wanted was some p*##*, I would tell him to f#$& off, as this would be very unattractive behavior to me. Hell, I would just masturbate, if I need sex, rather than give my mind and body to someone I didn't know. Link to post Share on other sites
gypsygem Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 Originally posted by fredrolin I have always been turned on by aggressive women. I prefer a woman to ask me out, it shows confidence. It also makes it easy on me! Years ago when I was about 27 I was at a bar. There was this woman there (about 35) that I had seen in that bar a few times, but we had never really talked. She approached me and said "I'm looking for some d*ck tonight and your IT". Next thing I know we were at her place doing the wild thing. After about an hour or so of sex she said "Go home, I have to go to work early tomorrow". Why can't every woman be like this!?!? I had sex with her a few more times after that. After the last time she honestly said "Hey I was horny, I hadn't had a man in a while, I'm satisfied, don't come around anymore". No feelings were hurt, we had a good time and some fond memories. GET REAL!!! This double standard is what is so confusing to women. I once had a really good male friend, and told him I just wanted sex with him, nothing else, and no emotional attachments. We did it a couple times, and I thought everything was cool...... UNTIL......he got attached to me, and then he told me how much it hurt him that I was so "cold" to him. I was upfront with him, and told him exactly what I wanted from the beginning (SEX ONLY), and it only became an issue when he developed feelings for me. He also told me that men don't want women to "use, and hurt" them in this way. I think that the concept of "emotionally unattached sex" with a woman who asks for it is only attractive to a man UNTIL and UNLESS they develope feelings for the woman, and if/when that happens, they don't WANT a woman like this, because they feel the same rejection that a woman feels when a man does this to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted April 17, 2004 Moderators Share Posted April 17, 2004 And vice versa as well Curt Link to post Share on other sites
gypsygem Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 Why can't every woman be like this!?!? If all women were like this, you would probably be on this site starting a thread asking why women are so shallow. We all have sexual fantasies, and sometimes they come true... But the fact is...both men and women want emotional connections with a person who they love, or wish to be with. I have learned from experience, that just because you are up front with wants and desires in the beginning, it isn't insurance that the other person won't get emotionally attached to you I am now mature enough to realize that I can truly hurt a person by using them for my own needs, whether they are compliant or not. If either you or this woman in the bar had developed any kind of feelings toward the other, one or both of you could have been hurt. I think it's all about maturity and self responsibility...If you don't want to hurt another person, you can choose not to act out an immediate need or fantasy. I keep my fantasies in my head, and don't even WANT to act them out...this keeps my sex life very exciting...beacause I have a FANTASTIC imagination, and the man I'm with reaps all the benefits Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts