Once a slut, always a slut?

[nordic]

I haven't read all of the thread... But I have to say I learned one thing.

I will NEVER EVER disclose my sexual past to ANY man, EVER!

 

I never mislead anyone, but, if I'm not in a relationship, I don't owe anyone any explanations of what I do in my spare time.

 

And noone will ever know if I'm "easy" or not, as I tend to keep my sexual life quite private. Noone will know whether I am/used to be a "slut" or if I have just been a quiet virgin.

 

It's good to know, so thank you!!

 

well, until you want a relationship nobody is gonna care about your sexual history anyway. i dont care one bit right now.

 

the only one that is ever going to care is your future husband if you ever decide you want one. he, on the other hand, might care lots.

 

i think you can try lying if you like, and he accepts it initially.

 

just make sure you are found out, coz this can be a hot topic.

[ASG]

well, until you want a relationship nobody is gonna care about your sexual history anyway. i dont care one bit right now.

 

the only one that is ever going to care is your future husband if you ever decide you want one. he, on the other hand, might care lots.

 

i think you can try lying if you like, and he accepts it initially.

 

just make sure you are found out, coz this can be a hot topic.

 

He might care. But so what? He *will* get the info I deem important, which would be "no, there is noone else in my life".

It is ALL he needs to know.

[OldOnTheInside]

He might care. But so what?

 

Lucky guy.

[ASG]

Lucky guy.

 

My sexual past is MY business alone. Not my partner's, MINE. The only thing my partner needs to know is that I am STD free and not sleeping with anyone else.

 

Other than that, I really don't care what he thinks he might be entitled to know.

[Woggle]

I can see that relationship going well.

[stepka]

your a funny girl. you can not stomach the consequences of screwing around, but the screwing is no problem.

What's funny about that? It's the one thing we all have in common, men and women. Sex is great--it feels really, really good and I'm fortunate in that I can do the big O with ease and many times. But no, I don't like the consequences, well except for 2--my absolutely beautiful daughters. But the rest? Who would like STD's and worrying about what people are going to say about you? Even you can imagine that I'm sure.

[stepka]

no kidding. i did loose my temper. i wanted the truth and i knew she was lying, and she kept dragging her words talking very slowly, so thinking.

 

i know what that means, she is very clever girl. i know her well, and she is looking for loopholes in her story to tell it in a way i would accept. but i dont want to hear that, i want to hear the unbiased truth, that needs to be told quickly, so there is no time to think.

 

plus, this time i happened to know the truth to start with, and i could see when was deviating. only way to get her going was to push her around when she stalled. the whole thing drove me crazy, coz i so didnt want her to lie, since i knew that if she did, i would not be able to trust the rest, which didnt know the truth about. thing is, she lied her heart out, until a pushed her along. fear is a potent motivator.

 

i personally dont know if women should lie about these things or not. i think i would if i was a woman. i know that i cant handle that, so i am not going to have that happen to me. but there is no nice way to get anybody to tell truth, you can ask politely and be very sincere when you ask for the truth, but that will not stop a generic woman from lying about sex. they seem to do that more or less automatically. i am just not having children with a slut, so for me, this is life and death, and will get the truth.

 

yhis is exactly the problem with sluts to start with, and addresses the qustion that wa posed in the beginning. the problem with reformed slut, is exactly the lying and all the insecurities that comes with it. its very similar to the situation where one spouse cheats on the other. that also sets of a sprial of lies and very slow talking when answering questions.

 

i dont really distinguish emotionally between a woman cheating or having a sexaul past. she was being screwed by men over and over, how is that better if it was two years ago or last week. i can see moral explanations to that question, but for me, my male setup doesnt like either.

 

You know Nordic, from this post I gather that you were questioning her about her past history, which doesn't really affect now except in your sick little mind. Do her a favor and set her free so she can find a man who's not so twisted. If she's even alive any more--I have a sick feeling in my stomach from reading this and I'm praying that my starting this thread didn't set you off. Maybe you'd better lay off the sex for awhile and pull yourself together.

[ASG]

I can see that relationship going well.

 

Why wouldn't it?

 

My ex and I never had that conversation. We both knew we'd had other people, but never discussed it.

The only conversation we had was the "I'm not seeing anyone else but you", and that was enough!

 

We were exclusive and trusted each other without question (and broke up due to completely unrelated reasons).

 

Why would any other relationship not work just because I decided not to disclosed the complete details of my sex life?

Knowing I'm not a virgin will have to be enough.

[Woggle]

Why wouldn't it?

 

My ex and I never had that conversation. We both knew we'd had other people, but never discussed it.

The only conversation we had was the "I'm not seeing anyone else but you", and that was enough!

 

We were exclusive and trusted each other without question (and broke up due to completely unrelated reasons).

 

Why would any other relationship not work just because I decided not to disclosed the complete details of my sex life?

Knowing I'm not a virgin will have to be enough.

It's not this specific issue but the way you word it and your attitude towards it.

[ASG]

It's not this specific issue but the way you word it and your attitude towards it.

 

My attitude? The attitude of not wanting to be judged? yeah, that is a big problem.

 

I have never cheated. And I wouldn't. Therefore, what I've done before shouldn't matter and shouldn't even be an issue.

[TheLawmaker]

My attitude? The attitude of not wanting to be judged? yeah, that is a big problem.

 

I have never cheated. And I wouldn't. Therefore, what I've done before shouldn't matter and shouldn't even be an issue.

 

You're free to lie about how many penises you've stuck in your vagina.

 

I'm also entitled to lie about my virginity and lack of experience.

 

It's none of anybody's business. If someone can reject me based on my lack of experience, someone can reject you based on your promiscuity. And if you don't give a **** what people think, just don't tell them.

[Woggle]

My attitude? The attitude of not wanting to be judged? yeah, that is a big problem.

 

I have never cheated. And I wouldn't. Therefore, what I've done before shouldn't matter and shouldn't even be an issue.

 

I am not accusing you of anything because you might be an exception but this attitude from what I see easily crosses over into cheating. Almost every man I know who has been cheated on including myself was betrayed by a woman with a colorful sexual past who they tried to be open minded about. Like I said before my ex wife gave me the speech about how the past doesn't matter and what matters is right now and I agreed with her. I didn't judge her and she rewarded that with cheating on me with god knows how many men on a daily basis.

[stepka]

I am not accusing you of anything because you might be an exception but this attitude from what I see easily crosses over into cheating. Almost every man I know who has been cheated on including myself was betrayed by a woman with a colorful sexual past who they tried to be open minded about. Like I said before my ex wife gave me the speech about how the past doesn't matter and what matters is right now and I agreed with her. I didn't judge her and she rewarded that with cheating on me with god knows how many men on a daily basis.

 

Probably every woman who cheats has a colorful past, but not every woman who has a colorful past cheats. Just as every woman who has no interest in sex was probably a (near) virgin when you met her, but not every woman who was a (near) virgin will be frigid. I'm sorry for your experiences Woggle, and appreciate your honesty and ability to stay civilized after such disappointment.

[tami-chan]

Good luck getting laid.

 

lol... the man only needs to make his presence known-no luck needed. Some got it that way, you know

[nordic]

He might care. But so what? He *will* get the info I deem important, which would be "no, there is noone else in my life".

It is ALL he needs to know.

 

i am just telling now, that if i have that before. and if you are not very different from other women i met, which you dont seem to be. you would tell me that sooner or later, and the later it got the less patient i would be.

 

dont fool yourself, you are probably not that tough and this is life and death to me.

 

if you would just say, or walk out, it would be fine. but dont lie. and answer the questions, coz they are not gonna stop, if this man really wants to know.

[nordic]

My sexual past is MY business alone. Not my partner's, MINE. The only thing my partner needs to know is that I am STD free and not sleeping with anyone else.

 

Other than that, I really don't care what he thinks he might be entitled to know.

 

see, this is not your decision. this has been decided for you. by other people, called men.

 

you dont get to decide what is attractive in yourself, per deifnition other people will do that, even though women seem confused over that every now and then.

 

men dont want to be married to sluts. so yes, it is his business.

 

plus, not talking at all is fine. i would just assume that you been 100+ plus men including threesomes each night on vacationtrips. and that would just make you a fwb instantly. i would stay for the sex, but not invest one extra energy unit than was needed to get that.

[nordic]

What's funny about that? It's the one thing we all have in common, men and women. Sex is great--it feels really, really good and I'm fortunate in that I can do the big O with ease and many times. But no, I don't like the consequences, well except for 2--my absolutely beautiful daughters. But the rest? Who would like STD's and worrying about what people are going to say about you? Even you can imagine that I'm sure.

 

i like to talk about what i did, have no problem with that at all. this is a female rational that doesnt seem that rational to me.

 

i am not sure if you should do things, as a woman, that you are not able to tell your life long partner later. really, isnt it just easier to not do it? or to do it, and then not try to get married on all that later? then nobody is going to care, and you can do what you want.

 

its that idea that you should do somehting first, and then spend your life lying about it later, that doesnt seem so stable.

[nordic]

You know Nordic, from this post I gather that you were questioning her about her past history, which doesn't really affect now except in your sick little mind. Do her a favor and set her free so she can find a man who's not so twisted. If she's even alive any more--I have a sick feeling in my stomach from reading this and I'm praying that my starting this thread didn't set you off. Maybe you'd better lay off the sex for awhile and pull yourself together.

 

dont worry, i am 41 and has been like this since since i was 15:)

 

nothing new comes from reading stuff like this.

 

i would not hurt her that bad, i just needed to know what she did. i did set her free, she can go where she wants. i had a long long open relationship with her, where i had sex with other women. even had sex with a girl in her bed in her apartment, when she was on a business trip. but this one, just will not go away. and i can see that, coz i feel soemthign similar this time around for her, she has gotten under my skin. which is what i never let happen, after i know these things about womens past. shoudl have followed the rule this time also.

 

well, as a woman, you will say that this doens matter. its like hearing a generic woman talking and i have heard over and over for a couple decades now. really? if that was the case, everybody would be fine now, wouldnt they? so, its ovbiously more that that.

 

its intrinsic in all males, so the idea that she should go somewhere else and that man will just embrace her sluttiness and be happy over it, is probably not true. she did this to herself, and then are consequonces, and this is what those look like.

 

lokk at all other cultures on the planet. wherever there are arranged marriages, the bride is a virgin. so when brittish men from india want s a wife, one is found for him in india. but the most stable cirteria is that she is virgin. how is that? according to you?

 

i mean if this made sense, he would of course want a kamasutra trained former professional girl from a whore house. she would technically skilled like noone else. yet, when we get to choose, no man wants that, i dont want it, we want a virgin.

[nordic]

Why wouldn't it?

 

My ex and I never had that conversation. We both knew we'd had other people, but never discussed it.

The only conversation we had was the "I'm not seeing anyone else but you", and that was enough!

 

We were exclusive and trusted each other without question (and broke up due to completely unrelated reasons).

 

Why would any other relationship not work just because I decided not to disclosed the complete details of my sex life?

Knowing I'm not a virgin will have to be enough.

 

not for me. i need to know exactly what you did, and with who.

i am not walking around around one day with my family pushing a stroller, having a guy look at my wife with that smile and having her give shy smile back and then looking away, and not answering question about it afterwards.

that would set me off so bad. see, the sluttiness is fine at a distance, but not when its your wife and its close.

 

men will always be curious about these things if they really love a woman.

 

so the only two reasons i believe there are fpr not asking would be. he didnt love you as deep as you think. or he did, and he didnt ask, coz he was just too afraid of what the answer would be.

 

in your case, if you phrased is like that, probably the later. if you said that to me, i would assume you were town tramp where you grew up.

[nordic]

My attitude? The attitude of not wanting to be judged? yeah, that is a big problem.

 

I have never cheated. And I wouldn't. Therefore, what I've done before shouldn't matter and shouldn't even be an issue.

 

its not about the cheating.

 

if you sucked on 30 mens cocks, how is that better coz it was a year ago?

 

now who did those cocks belong to? what did the men look like? how old were they? how did you know them? do you even know their names?

 

having lovely images about your wife slurping down a bunch of cocks is not gonna work. therefore you ened to tell your man what you did. chances are that he live with it, but then agian maybe not. but lying is not always smart.

 

it would not be with me, i can tell you that.

[nordic]

I am not accusing you of anything because you might be an exception but this attitude from what I see easily crosses over into cheating. Almost every man I know who has been cheated on including myself was betrayed by a woman with a colorful sexual past who they tried to be open minded about. Like I said before my ex wife gave me the speech about how the past doesn't matter and what matters is right now and I agreed with her. I didn't judge her and she rewarded that with cheating on me with god knows how many men on a daily basis.

 

i have seen ylu write about cheating plenty of times now. it seems to e a big concern with you. there are ways to make sure that that does not happen. but its a diffficult route. if you feel strong about it, there are ways though, that work.

[ASG]

i like to talk about what i did, have no problem with that at all. this is a female rational that doesnt seem that rational to me.

 

i am not sure if you should do things, as a woman, that you are not able to tell your life long partner later. really, isnt it just easier to not do it? or to do it, and then not try to get married on all that later? then nobody is going to care, and you can do what you want.

 

its that idea that you should do somehting first, and then spend your life lying about it later, that doesnt seem so stable.

 

LOL

 

You assume ALL men think like you, which is NOT true.

I would like to be able to talk about it with my future partner, but I will have no problem withholding that information.

I don't tend to talk about it, anyway, as if I'm with someone, I think it's in poor taste to talk about previous sexcapades.

 

i am just telling now, that if i have that before. and if you are not very different from other women i met, which you dont seem to be. you would tell me that sooner or later, and the later it got the less patient i would be.

(...)

if you would just say, or walk out, it would be fine. but dont lie. and answer the questions, coz they are not gonna stop, if this man really wants to know.

 

See here? I would have issue with this LONG before you started becoming impatient. If a men is insecure enough that he WON'T stop asking me about my sexual past, then we're not right for each other and I would move on.

 

My past is my own. I don't ask questions, so expect none asked from me, in regards to my sexual life.

 

 

plus, not talking at all is fine. i would just assume that you been 100+ plus men including threesomes each night on vacationtrips. and that would just make you a fwb instantly. i would stay for the sex, but not invest one extra energy unit than was needed to get that.

 

And because you're God's gift to women, I'd be extremely bothered! If you kept asking me, I wouldn't even give you the sex part, so you'd lose out more than I would.

It's fair enough though. I always assume people have slept with 100+. It just doesn't bother me.

 

 

 

i am not walking around around one day with my family pushing a stroller, having a guy look at my wife with that smile and having her give shy smile back and then looking away, and not answering question about it afterwards.

that would set me off so bad. see, the sluttiness is fine at a distance, but not when its your wife and its close.

 

LOL Does this EVER happen??? I run into people I've slept with often, as I still keep in touch with some of them, and there are no sly smiles or knowing looks. It's the past.

Also, it would still be none of your business if I had slept with that person or not.

[nordic]

Probably every woman who cheats has a colorful past, but not every woman who has a colorful past cheats. Just as every woman who has no interest in sex was probably a (near) virgin when you met her, but not every woman who was a (near) virgin will be frigid. I'm sorry for your experiences Woggle, and appreciate your honesty and ability to stay civilized after such disappointment.

 

this is actually not true stepka. i had sex with plenty of women over 25 years, and women dont work like that. female sluttiness is just more smeared out over the populations, than mens. so a few men have sex with a lot of women, but when it comes to women, its often more smeared out. coz women will have periods in their lives, college, vacation trips with the girls, breaking up from long term relationships, being stresses...where they sleep with lots of men in short period of time, and then they get into long term relationships agian, and disappear from the market.

 

also, women have sex for all sorts of reasons, many of those are non related to their sexaulity. women will have sex, if you give them attention and then take it back, and show thta you will put it on again if she has sex with you.

 

that is very very common. that doesnt mean that she wants three orgasms that night. thta only means that she might be lonely and want somebody wioth her that night, and soembody to talk to her and be nice to her when she wake up. maybe make scrampled eggs and coffee in the morning.

 

thing is, she paying for that with sex, and that doesnt make her sexual, just that she likes the attention and a closeness from a man.

 

now, this is so common, that it completely distorts your theory. i can promise you. i have been with girls who slept with 50 guys and all some of them seem to have leanred is to lie still.

 

sex is mostly a question of how you approach it, not technique anyway.

[nordic]

Theeerrre she isssssss Misss Americaaaaaaa!

 

Hi Tami

 

omg! no shame...

[ASG]

its not about the cheating.

 

if you sucked on 30 mens cocks, how is that better coz it was a year ago?

 

now who did those cocks belong to? what did the men look like? how old were they? how did you know them? do you even know their names?

 

having lovely images about your wife slurping down a bunch of cocks is not gonna work. therefore you ened to tell your man what you did. chances are that he live with it, but then agian maybe not. but lying is not always smart.

 

it would not be with me, i can tell you that.

 

 

See? This is where you're wrong. I don't NEED to do anything of the sort. If he doesn't trust me, then we shouldn't be together, end of.

 

If I did suck 30+ cocks in the past, it is MY business. Same way I don't ask how many pussy the man has licked.

 

And from what I'm reading here, you're quite the slut yourself, so I honestly don't see where you get off being all high and mighty about women who have had a few sexual partners.

 

Most women on LS would throw you to the kerb just as easily as you would a woman that has slept around.