Once a slut, always a slut?

[nordic]

1. The ways in which women and men seek and obtain sex are completely different. The average woman has near complete control over exactly when, with whom, and how many whoms she has sex with. She merely has to ask men she finds sexually attractive. The average man has almost no control over when, with whom, and how many whoms he has sex with, he must always be looking and approaching to get any sex or he will get none. Apples and oranges. An average promiscuous man is lucky, on a winning streak, that could end at any time with a long dry spell, a promiscuous woman is purposeful and a glutton, and it's reasonable to judge her as such.

 

Then it stands to reason the less opportunities a woman gets, the greater the "pass" she deserves for being promiscuous - yes? Fat chick? Glutton away! Chick working 2 jobs with little free time? Hit it while you can! If you're going to stand on opportunity to justify it, then the guys who get more opportunities need practice more restraint, not get cheered for their gluttony. They're just easy rides that women (or anyone) can use and toss. They're sluts, not role models because its easier for them than YOU. Sound like being a hater and that is what you'd call it if some guy got on you for a ONS.

 

2. Men suffer biological risk of raising offspring that is not theirs when involved with a promiscuous woman. Women never suffer this risk when involved with a promiscuous man, as the offspring is always hers.

 

Why are we talking about babies? No one said sluts are exclusively women who lie about paternity. It seems sluts are just women who view sex in a way men want to corner the market on despite being less capable of achieving it than women. Why are they less capable? Because they're EASIER THAN WOMEN and have no standards; will say yes to anyone of any character. THIS is a good choice for a LTR or marriage? Someone easier than yourself and lacking standards?

 

3. Promiscuity is comorbid with lots of nasty personality and emotional disorders in women, as Sanman alludes to. Promiscuity in men is -not- comorbid with such disorders.

 

I say hogwash to that. It appears this way to whomever whats to believe it and fluctuates depending on what school of head shrinking one chooses. Just because one supposed shrink says women are more likely to have promiscuity be a sign of a mental disorder, it doesn't mean he said or that its true that male promiscuity is never a sign of a mental disorder.

 

4. Women who have a discrete sex life are -not- judged for frequency or number today, it is the obvious ones who burn through a whole town or campus indscriminately who are judged. Men, OTOH, are judged more and more for wanton promiscuity, the few such is available to are anyway.

 

This level of promiscuity is hedging more on a destructive promiscuity pattern. Both men and women make themselves vulnerable to detrimental promiscuity fall out with this level of sexual activity. Unplanned pregnancies don't just happen to women. Stress and drama over being so socially messy doesn't just happen to women. STDs don't just happen to women and yes we are still judged by others no matter how discreet or lower on the promiscuity spectrum we live. I was dubbed a slut what I was still a virgin who'd never been kissed.

 

5. It's not so much the promiscuity itself that condemns promiscuous women in many modern men's eyes, but the simultaneous duplicity many promiscuous women display in dealing with dating and relationship prospects v fun sex prospects. They live a lie with men who make a good catch in hopes of not scaring them off. (see my prior post). Once this dual nature is exposed, what man in his right mind would want a liar like that?

 

Yes because men are never duplicitous in obtaining fun sex prospects OR relationships. Men never have the so called "serious" GF or a spouse by promising fidelity while being promiscuous with the more disposable (in his eyes) options. They never ever claim to be a better man after burning through a town or campus. Get real. Of all the lines I've had floated or heard floated, they've never been about advertising how slutty they've been prior to some new prospect. They would be afraid of scaring her off and getting rejected.

6. Men are judged harshly for lack of sexual experience by many women, women are not so judged by men.

 

This is an outdated belief. 40 year old virgins are not 40 virgins because women won't toss them a bone for their virginity. They are often very obviously socially awkward. Come off like they - wait for it -have a mental disorder or are aspie. The ones that are not so socially awkward or seem mental get laid. You got laid as a virgin did you not?

7. Women, not men, are the harshest judges of female sexual behavior. Men form much of their pre-experience attitudes about loose women based on what they are told by the -women- in their lives whom they respect and who love them and are concerned for their well being. Most men are first cautioned about "da hoochies" by a mother, grandmother, sister, etc. So if there ever was a double standard, it was perpetuated by women in concern for the men in their lives as much as it ever was perpetuated by men.

 

This is another outdated excuse. One woman vying for a particular man who has another woman vying for him might speak harshly about the other girl to up her appeal (cuz you all are swayed by it) and is likely just as promiscuous as the one she bags on. Its also not always a factual claim. You have umpteen excuses as to why you don't trust women; why put much stock in this strategy? I can't remember the last time one of my female friends harshly judged another woman for her promiscuity. Judge her for lying? Judge her for treating some undeserving guy shabby? Sure. People can do that without it being about sex.

We also got mothers who struggle to stop seeing their little boys as little boys and the women who date them as interlopers wanting to take their little boy. THAT happens way more than what you're trying to express here and women know it because we are the ones who have to deal with your mother's hail mary grasp on the phantom umbilical. No different than the grumbling fathers you've had to face.

8. "Boys will be Boys" - Whereas most men do not typically judge women harshly for the sexual reputation of their prior relationship and marriage partners, most women will judge men harshly for the sexual reputation of their prior relationship and marriage partners. This creates incentive for men to avoid LTRs and marriages with promiscuous women, with no such corollary incentives for women to avoid LTRs and marriages with promiscuous men.

 

Yes. I will completely agree with this one but it isn't about how much sex they had. Its about how they treated other people in obtaining it. Yes there are incentives for women to avoid trying to be serious with men who treated other people as disposable and low. Its the same reasoning behind avoiding someone who is ****ty to waitstaff or the people who should be important to them.

 

9. Justifying female promiscuity based on an imaginary double standard prevents many mentally ill women from realizing how badly they need medical help. When women are told, "You are just like men sexually, your promiscuity is your right, as it's the same thing men do," it perpetuates the illusion that promiscuity in women is no more significant from a mental health perspective than it is in men.

 

Oh for effs sake! Freud Jr even admitted promiscuity isn't a clear indication of a mental disorder! He spoke of impulsive behavior. Something that isn't exclusive to promiscuity. Men are neeeevverrrr impulsive ? What do you call jumping into bed with a stranger you just met based on the possibility you might maybe who knows have to wait a bit for such an offer to rinse repeat, be so impulsive again? Impulsive is impulsive no matter what dangles (or doesn't) between your legs. What do you call reading what some stranger tells you is sometimes a connection and then running with it like its 2+2 equaling 4? I call it impulsive. Maybe you have BPD? I said in on the intarwebs so it must be true.

 

i agree. this list is a load of crap. men just dont want to be married with sluts. there is no reason needed, and if you look around. its the same all over the world, and if you people in differetn cultures, you will get different reasons for the same thing. none of them are interesting.

 

its just a given, and within us a men. we just dont like to think of our loved ones lying under some men being ****ed.

[Woggle]

I have been thinking and maybe a woman's history is not that big a deal as long she was honest all the way about it. I would rather have a woman who had honest fun with a good number of men than a woman who had a man and cheated on him with the only other man she had been with. Cheating in the past though would be a complete dealbreaker and I think that is fair since I have never cheated either. I had my fun in my single days so I would be a complete hypocrite if I judged a woman for the same thing.

[nordic]

And knowing your new BF hopped into bed with some woman or women, he doesn't know the name of, just getting effed, especially if he is thinking she or they were unworthy of his respect and consideration has never made me feel all warm and fuzzy either.

 

So why no altering your behavior? Especially in light of how hard it supposedly is to get a woman to want to be intimate with you and treat you well?

 

If it isn't enough of a reason for you, why should it be to anyone else?

 

If you want to know why women tend to judge male sexuality less, look no further than social conditioning. You've been conditioned to believe cock will sully a woman's worth. We've been conditioned to accept your sullied hide and it seems by reading threads on this site, grow resentful and dissatisfied over time with the poor quality of the merchandise that is you (collectively, not personally) . Oh how the tide is turning.............

 

oh sally, that made very little sense.

 

honestly, you are confused, and the reason is that you dont have access to the way men are wired emotionally. you will there fore believe that you work in a similar way, and thats just the wrong hypthesis here.

 

you are funfdamentally different from a man and dont have the same emotional setup, and thats the reason you think of this in terms of morals, and social conditionaning.

 

its not. its a pure male instinct. its generic and everywhere. name one culture on the planet, present or historic, where men like to marry sluts or whores. you cant find one, coz this is cross-culture and inherant in men.

 

while you are at it name one such culture where female sexuality expresses itself in the same way as mens. really, i like to know of one. i plan to go there myself.

[Lovelybird]

If everyone of you, including man and woman, wait sex for marriage, then all problems will be solved.

[nordic]

Oh how I wish we had a rep button on here.

 

OK, got another question for the men. Two women available to you, and you must choose. Both of them adore you equally and both want a relationship with you and both are equally attractive. The first one loves and adores sex with you and has a bit of a colorful past, but has left that all behind, well before she met you. She's taken time off to work on herself and she's not in Sanskrit's "army." Warmhearted as they come and she loves sex--she'd be fine with every night--no less than every other night--with you.

 

The other one is practically virginal--maybe has had one partner in her life and he was long term. Trouble is, she just doesn't much care for sex. After a couple of years with her, your love life is whittled down to 1x/week and only so she can say you did. She loves you but treats sex as a chore.

 

So, which is it guys? Note: I'm mainly directing this towards the men who've said that they wouldn't consider having a relationship with a slut--not even a reformed one, and no matter what you guys believe, there are plenty of them--they're just not likely to share their history, and for good reason it seems to me.

 

easy, you get them both as **** buddies, and keep the bring one closer to home, so she can do the laundry and cleaning, freeing up the slut's time for good quality sex.

 

yes, women lie about their sexually history with the precision of a politician.

 

it can be very dangerous though, should not be tried with me, after a certain point of time in the relationship. in the beginning i expect it, after a while, if it becomes more serious, i need to know. i am not having children or getting married to a slut.

[Lovelybird]

you are funfdamentally different from a man and dont have the same emotional setup, and thats the reason you think of this in terms of morals, and social conditionaning.

Moral isn't a dirty word

[stepka]

oh sally, that made very little sense.

 

honestly, you are confused, and the reason is that you dont have access to the way men are wired emotionally. you will there fore believe that you work in a similar way, and thats just the wrong hypthesis here.

 

you are funfdamentally different from a man and dont have the same emotional setup, and thats the reason you think of this in terms of morals, and social conditionaning.

 

its not. its a pure male instinct. its generic and everywhere. name one culture on the planet, present or historic, where men like to marry sluts or whores. you cant find one, coz this is cross-culture and inherant in men.

 

while you are at it name one such culture where female sexuality expresses itself in the same way as mens. really, i like to know of one. i plan to go there myself.

New Zealand. It's the only country in the world where female promiscuity outstrips men's.

 

I honestly get why men don't want an unfaithful partner. No one wants one, but men get more upset and I think it must have to do with childbearing b/c my ex told me that in the gay men's culture, they don't even try to hold each other faithful b/c it just won't work. You would think with HIV and AIDs they would be more likely to be upset at infidelity but not so. So it's obvious that it mostly has to do with raising another man's child and social ridicule and that's got to be an inborn trait.

[nordic]

Why wouldn't it be ok? The original purpose of this thread was to point to women who've had a run of fun and then stopped and realized that it was holding them back from having a real relationship where one presumes that they'll be faithful. I don't think that anyone here has defended the actions of an unfaithful partner, male or female, unless of course it's one of the rare situations where the couple both decided to have an open relationship and neither one is lying to the other and that would be a case of one of the partners changing the rules midstream.

 

i have a connection there though. if a woman turns out to have a colorful past, and i dont want an exclusive relationship with her, i usually propose a more open relationship with her. an surprising amount of women agree to this, but after a while when they realise the reality of this lifestyle they tend to disappear and look for something more exclusive.

 

i dont think its wise to try and have an exclusive relationship with a reformed slut, it will only lead to anger and resentment and is doomed to start with. which is what we read here i think.

[nordic]

I don't understand.

 

So basically, it's ok for men to sleep around, but not women. And this is the main reason:

 

Because average men have a harder time getting action than the average woman. So a man needs to take advantage while a woman needs to show restraint.

----------

 

So, a few points to make here.

 

1. I think a good 99% of the resentment stems from jealousy. Yes, men have to work harder, and women have to work less, so what? It's not like men are helpless one bit. I'm curious as to how to the average number of men who actually try comes into play. (Let's be honest, this weighs quite a bit in the whole discussion no?) I think we would find the answer is quite heavy. Maybe, just maybe, the top 5% of men who get action are simply those who try while the other 95% (those associated with scraps) do get scraps because they don't.

 

Maybe the men who get angry are those who just sit there and idle by, not doing anything, while building anger and resentment at women who are getting action? (What did they do to you anyway?) Where does self accountability fit in? It is however, always easier to point the finger, than take the blame.

 

And the whole reformed slut idea.. What?? So what she played around then decided to settle down. I'm confident just as many men do it. Maybe if we dropped a lot of these labels, look as women as humans and not some type of power abusers, things would come along a lot easier.

 

this is how it sounds when people try to rationalize an emotion. of course nothing makes sense then.

 

why dont we just do like this then. men like to have casual sex with pelnty of partners more than women. why dont just men have sex with eachother? problem solved. logic rules:)

 

oh, emotionally they dont want to. just as they dont want to marry the girl who slept with half the soccer team.

[nordic]

Why? Can't handle the truth?

 

You are so blinded by your little anti slut crusade, it's really hard not to laugh at you. I'm failing that miserably.

Basically, this.

 

Many of the slut-haters actually secretly want those "sluts" to notice them and invite them into action. Except when it doesn't happen, they get all bitter and offended, calling those girls names. If anything, I side with "sluts" in that case.

 

I had a buddy like this - after he slept with a girl, he started calling her a slut. Unsurprisingly, he complains that he can't find "a good woman". But when he's about to get laid by so called "slut" - boy, he doesn't complain. Not at all.

 

 

i think the concept of sluts is a good thing. gives us all sex without the boring part.

 

i guess those guys get angry coz of lack of sex with them. if they would just start having some sex with a good slut, they would see the light:)

[nordic]

If everyone of you, including man and woman, wait sex for marriage, then all problems will be solved.

 

stop being crazy:)

[nordic]

Moral isn't a dirty word

 

nobody said it was. it just has nothing to do with this:)

[nordic]

New Zealand. It's the only country in the world where female promiscuity outstrips men's.

 

I honestly get why men don't want an unfaithful partner. No one wants one, but men get more upset and I think it must have to do with childbearing b/c my ex told me that in the gay men's culture, they don't even try to hold each other faithful b/c it just won't work. You would think with HIV and AIDs they would be more likely to be upset at infidelity but not so. So it's obvious that it mostly has to do with raising another man's child and social ridicule and that's got to be an inborn trait.

 

no way. i have been there, and i did not find any easier than anywhere else. i had sex with a kiwi, but that was in greece:) thats just newspaper ink.

 

i can try and give you an honest answer to this.

 

i am currently dating a girl i really like. i did the usual things, so questioned her and she didnt pass the test. i then proposed we just see eachother and she agreed. so, pretty much a steady source of sex, but she never disapperad like most girls do when they find themselves living in that situation.

 

now, i knew, that i had to end this. but i really like her, and sex is great.

and now i find myself in a situation where i knew i would be, and i shoudl have avoided.

 

just earlier today, two hours ago i ended a four hour long questioning of her, where she pretty much was cruying all the time. she needs so sleep, coz she has something important next week, and i am not happy at all. it just destroys are lives. and before that, it was two weeks ago, and before that it has been pretty much every week.

 

she caves easily, which is good, coz then she doesnt get physically hurt. i managed to stay away from that this far, except for one occasion when got brushed on her back and arms, and really bad at her legs.

 

now, i dont want this. and i stay away from that as much as i can. but the only way i know works for me. is to not get involved with sluts in serious way. having sex with them doenst matter, i dont feel anything then. but trying to get into a real relationship always ends up this way. however tempting it might be, and how good the girl is, doesnt matter.

 

now, i know women will think, that this is just morals that can be changed or soem male ego thing that is controllable. i dont see that.

 

the though of the woman you love on her knees on front of another man, taking his cock from behind will just lead to blind anger if you fight to care for the girl. its just how it is, and women will never get it, coz you just dont have these emotions.

 

so argument you have are useless against a very strong emotion.

[Lovelybird]

nobody said it was. it just has nothing to do with this:)

This is a serious question for me. Psychology say people do wrong things such as promiscuity because they do not know better or they grew up in a bad family. Moral says people have will to choose to do wrong or right.

 

In your discussions, which are very interesting, they more sound like there is no place for choosing or a person's will? no place for moral? It seems like moral is a dirty word here?

 

so my questions is, if a person is promiscuous, is this due to his/her will and moral level, or his/her unfortunate childhood?

[nordic]

This is a serious question for me. Psychology say people do wrong things such as promiscuity because they do not know better or they grew up in a bad family. Moral says people have will to choose to do wrong or right.

 

In your discussions, which are very interesting, they more sound like there is no place for choosing or a person's will? no place for moral? It seems like moral is a dirty word here?

 

so my questions is, if a person is promiscuous, is this due to his/her will and moral level, or his/her unfortunate childhood?

 

neither. i see nothing wrong with having sex with plenty of people.

 

what i meant was that men dont want to marry a girl who had sex with a lot of different men (female partners we dont care about). and that this is not a moral issue, which means that it can never be changed.

[Stockalone]

OK, this came up on a Dr. Laura radio show one day. The poor man called in and said that his wife came to him one day when his daughter was 12 and informed him that she wanted a divorce and BTW, the girl was not his. He wasn't too sorry to see the pathetic wife go, but he hated like anything to lose the daughter and what should he do? The wife had him over a barrel b/c if he chose to not pay child support she would not let him see the girl--a child he loved dearly and had built a relationship with all those years. He had already chosen to continue paying child support and wanted to know if he should tell his dd. But when asked if he would have preferred to not know at that point, he admitted that he wished his ex had not told him and I agree that there are times when a truth is better withheld. Those times are rare though and I think it's a point of particular cruelty that the woman told him. If she had told him from the beginning it would have been much better b/c the man could have made an informed decision about whether to be a father to his "daughter."

 

I honestly don't understand that. Why anybody would be okay with living the life of a marionette is simply beyond me.

 

Granted, if he had never known, he couldn't have felt hurt. That said, I'd rather hear the (hurtful) truth than being robbed of my own free will. Even if I am unaware, I consider this to be a fate worse than death. Years or decades of a life would have been nothing but a lie, and wasted. That, IMO, is cruel whether I know it or not.

 

And one of the most important things, not wanting to know also means that his cheating slut of a wife would have been able to continue her role as the puppeteer, playing God with his life and feelings. He would never have a chance to get even. If some people would rather not know, so be it. Honestly though, I think they are insane. And I know that some would rather want to know.

[OldOnTheInside]

^ Agreed.

 

For me, the idea of "lying to spare my feelings" just seems so arrogant. It's as though you have some right to dictate another person's emotions.

[sally4sara]

no way. i have been there, and i did not find any easier than anywhere else. i had sex with a kiwi, but that was in greece:) thats just newspaper ink.

 

i can try and give you an honest answer to this.

 

i am currently dating a girl i really like. i did the usual things, so questioned her and she didnt pass the test. i then proposed we just see eachother and she agreed. so, pretty much a steady source of sex, but she never disapperad like most girls do when they find themselves living in that situation.

 

now, i knew, that i had to end this. but i really like her, and sex is great.

and now i find myself in a situation where i knew i would be, and i shoudl have avoided.

 

just earlier today, two hours ago i ended a four hour long questioning of her, where she pretty much was cruying all the time. she needs so sleep, coz she has something important next week, and i am not happy at all. it just destroys are lives. and before that, it was two weeks ago, and before that it has been pretty much every week.

 

she caves easily, which is good, coz then she doesnt get physically hurt. i managed to stay away from that this far, except for one occasion when got brushed on her back and arms, and really bad at her legs.

 

now, i dont want this. and i stay away from that as much as i can. but the only way i know works for me. is to not get involved with sluts in serious way. having sex with them doenst matter, i dont feel anything then. but trying to get into a real relationship always ends up this way. however tempting it might be, and how good the girl is, doesnt matter.

 

now, i know women will think, that this is just morals that can be changed or soem male ego thing that is controllable. i dont see that.

 

the though of the woman you love on her knees on front of another man, taking his cock from behind will just lead to blind anger if you fight to care for the girl. its just how it is, and women will never get it, coz you just dont have these emotions.

 

so argument you have are useless against a very strong emotion.

 

Calling Freud Jr.! Calling Freud Jr.! I think you have a new patient! What mental disorder do trolls have?

[stepka]

stop being crazy:)

What's crazy? He/she is right, b/c then you wouldn't be marrying a slut. No guarantee that she won't become one after the marriage though.

 

i am currently dating a girl i really like. i did the usual things, so questioned her and she didnt pass the test. i then proposed we just see eachother and she agreed. so, pretty much a steady source of sex, but she never disapperad like most girls do when they find themselves living in that situation.

 

now, i knew, that i had to end this. but i really like her, and sex is great.

and now i find myself in a situation where i knew i would be, and i shoudl have avoided.

 

just earlier today, two hours ago i ended a four hour long questioning of her, where she pretty much was cruying all the time. she needs so sleep, coz she has something important next week, and i am not happy at all. it just destroys are lives. and before that, it was two weeks ago, and before that it has been pretty much every week.

 

she caves easily, which is good, coz then she doesnt get physically hurt. i managed to stay away from that this far, except for one occasion when got brushed on her back and arms, and really bad at her legs.

 

now, i dont want this. and i stay away from that as much as i can. but the only way i know works for me. is to not get involved with sluts in serious way. having sex with them doenst matter, i dont feel anything then. but trying to get into a real relationship always ends up this way. however tempting it might be, and how good the girl is, doesnt matter.

 

now, i know women will think, that this is just morals that can be changed or soem male ego thing that is controllable. i dont see that.

 

the though of the woman you love on her knees on front of another man, taking his cock from behind will just lead to blind anger if you fight to care for the girl. its just how it is, and women will never get it, coz you just dont have these emotions.

 

so argument you have are useless against a very strong emotion.

I think I'm going to be sick.

[stepka]

I honestly don't understand that. Why anybody would be okay with living the life of a marionette is simply beyond me.

 

Granted, if he had never known, he couldn't have felt hurt. That said, I'd rather hear the (hurtful) truth than being robbed of my own free will. Even if I am unaware, I consider this to be a fate worse than death. Years or decades of a life would have been nothing but a lie, and wasted. That, IMO, is cruel whether I know it or not.

 

And one of the most important things, not wanting to know also means that his cheating slut of a wife would have been able to continue her role as the puppeteer, playing God with his life and feelings. He would never have a chance to get even. If some people would rather not know, so be it. Honestly though, I think they are insane. And I know that some would rather want to know.

 

Well I think you're right, and once again I'll point out for those who missed it--my ex husband of 23 years came out gay and if I could wave a magic wand and erase the memory of that and have him back as before, I wouldn't do it b/c I also prefer the truth, no matter how ugly. But yes, years and decades--half my life, wasted on someone who never could have wanted me--it's bad.

 

But consider the child here--she's 12 and had nothing to do with her mother's sin. Why should she pay? I think the "father" did the right thing and he is surely a better man than any of us. How would it have harmed that girl if dad had found out that she wasn't his and just disappeared from her life? I work with special ed kids and emotional disabilities, and abandonment is one of the most harmful issues I have seen in a child's life.

[nordic]

Calling Freud Jr.! Calling Freud Jr.! I think you have a new patient! What mental disorder do trolls have?

 

 

just dont lie about being a slut, and nestle yourself into somebody's emotional life, its not a good plan. i have nothing against sluts that tell me they are, on the contrary, i like them lots.

[nordic]

What exactly are you describing here? I hope it's going to be a j/k type of thing. Hope.

 

dunno, whats j/k?

[nordic]

What's crazy? He/she is right, b/c then you wouldn't be marrying a slut. No guarantee that she won't become one after the marriage though.

 

 

I think I'm going to be sick.

 

well, then we would not have access to sex, unless married. that would be a crazy society. would feel like saudi.

 

and where would all the worlds wonderful sluts be:)

 

your a funny girl. you can not stomach the consequences of screwing around, but the screwing is no problem.

 

 

much like all women that gets to explain this. all of the sudden they go mute, when they are suppose to say what they did or let somebody do to them. doing it in the first place were not a problem, just talking about it afterwards:)

 

if you pursued women for sex, you pretty much know what was going on anyway, and you can fill in the blanks. thats why i try to stay away from all sluts when it comers to long term things, reformed or not:)

[nordic]

j/k means "just kidding," some of your posting gets lost in translation, hopefully you aren't describing beating this girl.

 

no kidding. i did loose my temper. i wanted the truth and i knew she was lying, and she kept dragging her words talking very slowly, so thinking.

 

i know what that means, she is very clever girl. i know her well, and she is looking for loopholes in her story to tell it in a way i would accept. but i dont want to hear that, i want to hear the unbiased truth, that needs to be told quickly, so there is no time to think.

 

plus, this time i happened to know the truth to start with, and i could see when was deviating. only way to get her going was to push her around when she stalled. the whole thing drove me crazy, coz i so didnt want her to lie, since i knew that if she did, i would not be able to trust the rest, which didnt know the truth about. thing is, she lied her heart out, until a pushed her along. fear is a potent motivator.

 

i personally dont know if women should lie about these things or not. i think i would if i was a woman. i know that i cant handle that, so i am not going to have that happen to me. but there is no nice way to get anybody to tell truth, you can ask politely and be very sincere when you ask for the truth, but that will not stop a generic woman from lying about sex. they seem to do that more or less automatically. i am just not having children with a slut, so for me, this is life and death, and will get the truth.

 

yhis is exactly the problem with sluts to start with, and addresses the qustion that wa posed in the beginning. the problem with reformed slut, is exactly the lying and all the insecurities that comes with it. its very similar to the situation where one spouse cheats on the other. that also sets of a sprial of lies and very slow talking when answering questions.

 

i dont really distinguish emotionally between a woman cheating or having a sexaul past. she was being screwed by men over and over, how is that better if it was two years ago or last week. i can see moral explanations to that question, but for me, my male setup doesnt like either.

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I haven't read all of the thread... But I have to say I learned one thing.

I will NEVER EVER disclose my sexual past to ANY man, EVER!

 

I never mislead anyone, but, if I'm not in a relationship, I don't owe anyone any explanations of what I do in my spare time.

 

And noone will ever know if I'm "easy" or not, as I tend to keep my sexual life quite private. Noone will know whether I am/used to be a "slut" or if I have just been a quiet virgin.

 

It's good to know, so thank you!!