Once a slut, always a slut?

[Blood]

You have...

[Titania22]

You have...

 

No I haven't. I just am not looking.

[Woggle]

I agree, I am one of the men who has been there.

 

Many men have. I wish women would see that us men don't have these views just so we can one dimensional sexists in order to control women. We are trying to protect ourselves and not end up in that same situation again. What is so wrong with self protection?

[Sanman]

smart ass. Just as there are people who drink that are not alcoholics, there are people who can be the same when it comes to other substances. A person who can't control their chocolate consumption shouldn't eat chocolate, and a person who can't control their alcohol consumption shouldn't drink. It doesn't mean no one should eat chocolate or drink an alcoholic beverage now and then. I gave you a straight answer. If a grown adult, related to me or otherwise, is capable of indulging in heroin without it becoming a destructive force in their life I don't care if they take heroin any more than I care if you have an amount of alcohol that doesn't cause you strife or fall out. I don't support prohibition of any kind because its a ruse.

 

First off, heroin is not the same as alcohol. Heroin is significantly more addictive. It also takes much less to OD. It is also an unregulated substance, which means that one bad batch can lead to OD. Can you imagine if someone handed you a 70 beer (essentially 12 oz of whiskey) and you did not know.

 

As for the other stuff, I don't think a history of theft, cheating, promiscuity, or violence is a good basis for a relationship for either gender. However, women who are unhealthy, attention seeking, etc tend to do so through promiscuity and self-harm (cutting, suicide attempts). Men tend to do so with violence and other anti-social behavior. Why? Because it is what works. Women can easily get men to sleep with them and men tend to be bigger and stronger. This is why women outnumber men in cases of borderline personality and men tend to outnumber with in anti-social behavior. So, if a guy beaten up the last three women he dated, he may not beat you up. However, I would not advise any women I care about to take a chance on that man. Especially when there are other men out there for which this is not true. Similarly, I choose to no longer date promiscuous women when there are other choices out there. I have dated them, trying to keep an open mind, with consistently poor results. My friends who have chosen to forgo such women are content in their relationships and engaged. I probably had more fun in the bedroom, but I usually paid for it with a bit of sanity.

 

I see women get angry about this topic. However they also defend a woman's right to choose not to date a male virgin or one with limited relationship experience. That is their right as it is the choice of those here to not date a promiscuous woman.

[stepka]

I don't know them, so couldn't comment on that, but my hunch is that the types of women posting in threads like this are actually not the types who navigate their lives emotionally and impulsively. They may have made mistakes, we all have, but IMO the types who post here aren't the types we rant about so.

 

The gripe I have with certain female posters here on LS is... let me get this last bullet out of the way:

 

7. Women, not men, are the harshest judges of female sexual behavior. Men form much of their pre-experience attitudes about loose women based on what they are told by the -women- in their lives whom they respect and who love them and are concerned for their well being. Most men are first cautioned about "da hoochies" by a mother, grandmother, sister, etc. So if there ever was a double standard, it was perpetuated by women in concern for the men in their lives as much as it ever was perpetuated by men.

 

All the women who post in this thread know this, yet as many times as I type it in as many threads, they never comment on that or admit that it's the truth. WHY? (that's rhetorical, I know already)

 

All the women who post in this thread know women, many likely, who do the exact things I rant about here, and will betcha a dollar they themselves have warned a guy off of a skeezy woman at some time in their lives. When it's their brother, cousin, friend, or SON, I bet they aren't nearly so casual about "Trixie was just going through a phase when she pulled that train last week, you shouldn't hold that against her, SON. Maybe she can teach you a thing or two in the bedroom or pull a train with us here at Thanksgiving Dinner!" (can't wait for S4S to stir up the "heroin" line of discussion again in response to this, that was funny)

 

Comments ladies?

 

Truth is that there's a lot more going on in these types of threads than meets the eye. The bogus "double standard" is a sacred cow of sorts, and just happens to be a -crucial- keystone in a gigantic edifice of political lies. If that keystone crumbles, lots of other stuff starts to come down with it. IMO that's the real reason why they are so protective of the loose women in places like this, when they are likely not so in real life when men they care about are involved or when gossiping about other women with their friends.

 

Comment ladies?

 

Yes it's true sanskrit--I have warned men that I care about very much away from women of loose morals--though in those cases it's not just women who've slept with too many men--it's women who sleep with them, lie about it, and then chew them up and spit them out. I didn't start this post about those kind of women--I started it about women who have had a few too many partners and realized that it's not healthy and are seeking to change that--I've known that to be true of many women and most of those are now happily married and wonderful mothers.

 

Thankyou yes very much.

 

p.s. I am not saying i am never judgemental, but I work extraordinarily hard not to be. I am still a crap human, like everyone else though.

 

Same here Titania--it's a series of conscious decisions that I make every day but I'm much happier now that I only work to judge my own actions--I can relax and let others take care of themselves.

 

Many men have. I wish women would see that us men don't have these views just so we can one dimensional sexists in order to control women. We are trying to protect ourselves and not end up in that same situation again. What is so wrong with self protection?

I do see that woggle, and I've gained much perspective through starting this thread. It definitely struck a nerve with several of the men on here and you all have told me a lot that I had no idea about since I don't date women.

 

Certainly I do think that many of us have made poor judgments in the past about who to date and I know I have. I've had men try to drag me into the bedroom when I wouldn't put out--sometimes they weren't even my date, but I refuse to believe that all men are like that or that men are dogs, as I've heard some women state. If you get burned, you just learn to be more discriminating next time.

 

Another thought that I've had about this: I'm the mother of 2 teenage girls and one is gay. My straight daughter doesn't have a bf yet but if she did, the boy would not be allowed to sleep over, for obvious reasons. Yet, the gay girl did have her gf sleep over many times. The main reason I allowed it is that I couldn't think of an obvious reason that she couldn't--we didn't have to worry about unplanned pregnancies for one thing.

 

For the same reason, many women can't think of an obvious reason to say no if she's in a situation where sex is on the table. A couple is making out, he's horny, she's horny, birth control is available, why not? There are fewer consequences today than there were in past years and though people can be stupid with it, the protection is still there. So, while men have always been programmed to seek it--through nature and lack of social stigma and not having to deal with the consequences as fully, women have only recently (in past 50 years I mean) been free to do the same and some of them don't deal with that freedom in a wise way.

[stepka]

I don't know them, so couldn't comment on that, but my hunch is that the types of women posting in threads like this are actually not the types who navigate their lives emotionally and impulsively. They may have made mistakes, we all have, but IMO the types who post here aren't the types we rant about so.

 

The gripe I have with certain female posters here on LS is... let me get this last bullet out of the way:

 

7. Women, not men, are the harshest judges of female sexual behavior. Men form much of their pre-experience attitudes about loose women based on what they are told by the -women- in their lives whom they respect and who love them and are concerned for their well being. Most men are first cautioned about "da hoochies" by a mother, grandmother, sister, etc. So if there ever was a double standard, it was perpetuated by women in concern for the men in their lives as much as it ever was perpetuated by men.

 

All the women who post in this thread know this, yet as many times as I type it in as many threads, they never comment on that or admit that it's the truth. WHY? (that's rhetorical, I know already)

 

All the women who post in this thread know women, many likely, who do the exact things I rant about here, and will betcha a dollar they themselves have warned a guy off of a skeezy woman at some time in their lives. When it's their brother, cousin, friend, or SON, I bet they aren't nearly so casual about "Trixie was just going through a phase when she pulled that train last week, you shouldn't hold that against her, SON. Maybe she can teach you a thing or two in the bedroom or pull a train with us here at Thanksgiving Dinner!" (can't wait for S4S to stir up the "heroin" line of discussion again in response to this, that was funny)

 

Comments ladies?

 

Truth is that there's a lot more going on in these types of threads than meets the eye. The bogus "double standard" is a sacred cow of sorts, and just happens to be a -crucial- keystone in a gigantic edifice of political lies. If that keystone crumbles, lots of other stuff starts to come down with it. IMO that's the real reason why they are so protective of the loose women in places like this, when they are likely not so in real life when men they care about are involved or when gossiping about other women with their friends.

 

Comment ladies?

 

Yes it's true sanskrit--I have warned men that I care about very much away from women of loose morals--though in those cases it's not just women who've slept with too many men--it's women who sleep with them, lie about it, and then chew them up and spit them out. I didn't start this post about those kind of women--I started it about women who have had a few too many partners and realized that it's not healthy and are seeking to change that--I've known that to be true of many women and most of those are now happily married and wonderful mothers.

 

Thankyou yes very much.

 

p.s. I am not saying i am never judgemental, but I work extraordinarily hard not to be. I am still a crap human, like everyone else though.

 

Same here Titania--it's a series of conscious decisions that I make every day but I'm much happier now that I only work to judge my own actions--I can relax and let others take care of themselves.

 

Many men have. I wish women would see that us men don't have these views just so we can one dimensional sexists in order to control women. We are trying to protect ourselves and not end up in that same situation again. What is so wrong with self protection?

I do see that woggle, and I've gained much perspective through starting this thread. It definitely struck a nerve with several of the men on here and you all have told me a lot that I had no idea about since I don't date women.

 

Certainly I do think that many of us have made poor judgments in the past about who to date and I know I have. I've had men try to drag me into the bedroom when I wouldn't put out--sometimes they weren't even my date, but I refuse to believe that all men are like that or that men are dogs, as I've heard some women state. If you get burned, you just learn to be more discriminating next time.

 

Another thought that I've had about this: I'm the mother of 2 teenage girls and one is gay. My straight daughter doesn't have a bf yet but if she did, the boy would not be allowed to sleep over, for obvious reasons. Yet, the gay girl did have her gf sleep over many times. The main reason I allowed it is that I couldn't think of an obvious reason that she couldn't--we didn't have to worry about unplanned pregnancies for one thing.

 

For the same reason, many women can't think of an obvious reason to say no if she's in a situation where sex is on the table. A couple is making out, he's horny, she's horny, birth control is available, why not? There are fewer consequences today than there were in past years and though people can be stupid with it, the protection is still there. So, while men have always been programmed to seek it--through nature and lack of social stigma and not having to deal with the consequences as fully, women have only recently (in past 50 years I mean) been free to do the same and some of them don't deal with that freedom in a wise way.

[Titania22]

 

Same here Titania--it's a series of conscious decisions that I make every day but I'm much happier now that I only work to judge my own actions--I can relax and let others take care of themselves.

 

 

Thankyou Stepka,

 

I feel like I am getting quite a bit of heat on me tonight on ls, so it is awesome to know you get where i am coming from.

Edited June 2, 2011 by Titania22
typo

[mr.dream merchant]

**** I have 4 female cousins and they're all hoes. I love em though. But everytime I see them I always tell them to stop sluttin' around the **** is disgusting. Then they hit me with the classic "B-b-b-b-but you do it to!" Yeah well I have a penis and 2 testes - do you? Oh ok. Shut up.

[sally4sara]

First off, heroin is not the same as alcohol. Heroin is significantly more addictive. It also takes much less to OD. It is also an unregulated substance, which means that one bad batch can lead to OD. Can you imagine if someone handed you a 70 beer (essentially 12 oz of whiskey) and you did not know.

 

As for the other stuff, I don't think a history of theft, cheating, promiscuity, or violence is a good basis for a relationship for either gender. However, women who are unhealthy, attention seeking, etc tend to do so through promiscuity and self-harm (cutting, suicide attempts). Men tend to do so with violence and other anti-social behavior. Why? Because it is what works. Women can easily get men to sleep with them and men tend to be bigger and stronger. This is why women outnumber men in cases of borderline personality and men tend to outnumber with in anti-social behavior. So, if a guy beaten up the last three women he dated, he may not beat you up. However, I would not advise any women I care about to take a chance on that man. Especially when there are other men out there for which this is not true. Similarly, I choose to no longer date promiscuous women when there are other choices out there. I have dated them, trying to keep an open mind, with consistently poor results. My friends who have chosen to forgo such women are content in their relationships and engaged. I probably had more fun in the bedroom, but I usually paid for it with a bit of sanity.

 

I see women get angry about this topic. However they also defend a woman's right to choose not to date a male virgin or one with limited relationship experience. That is their right as it is the choice of those here to not date a promiscuous woman.

 

I defend your right to not date a person of any gender if you don't want to date them - full stop. I never suggested you date people you don't want to date. Why would I? Some public service angle? That sounds more like what the OP was talking about in her opener when someone acts like you have to keep doing things one particular way because you did so in the past. You tossed it up to some guy in your past so you have to toss it up for me too. . I began commenting on this line of logic when I saw people complaining about reformed habits upsetting them for what they didn't get that someone else once did. Silly really. I doubt they would expect this across the board. By this logic, they should never get laid because they didn't in the past.

 

I'm not sure where the whole don't date virgin guys part comes in. I don't take issue with virgin guys or virgin anyone and can't see the sense in it.

 

If we didn't have bans on particular drugs, they would be regulated. More reasons why I don't support banning them. I'm sorry your job involves keeping human pandas around despite their seeming insistence to snuff themselves out. They either do what keeps them functional, change their ways or they don't. Wow! That sounds like the same thing one should apply to negative result promiscuity doesn't it? so lets flip this....

 

If a guy is constantly lying to women about his attitude towards their sexuality and then breezing through them after he obtains sex, pushing for abortions when he helps create a whoopsie with them, hiding his sexual health and own level of promiscuity to better his odds of obtaining sex YES, I would think less of him and warn others about him. Not because he is having a lot of sex, but because he is treating people shabby, putting them at risk, dealing dishonorably and expects them to carry the load of preserving his way of life by ending a potential life through an invasive procedure only to dust them and exit stage left like it never happened. If a woman was behaving this way I wouldn't think highly of it either.

 

But I wouldn't expect that he could change his ways and be different yet somehow a female version cannot. The double standard promotes this belief. The double standard promotes that it is worse if this kind of behavior is enacted by a woman and somewhere between "meh" and admirable if it is enacted by a man. It promotes that he can still be a good choice but she cannot. I have never seen evidence to support this as a smart or correct belief.

If instead you are saying both are poor choices for the same reasons, I would agree with you. They are both a bigger gamble than someone who didn't act that way. It does not mean either of them have to continue or are incapable of making a change they can stick to.

[carhill]

I don't really know of many men whose mothers and grandmothers warned them away from certain women, though I won't dispute that it happens.

 

My mom did, regarding two, and, god rest her soul, she was absolutely dead nuts right. Fortunately, due to her dementia, she would never know how right she was about the last one, because it would have pained her so. So, with the wisdom imparted and accepted, I'll remember her words as guidance into the future.

 

Should I meet any examples supporting the original premise of this thread, I will happily share them. Learning is a universal potential.

[collegeguy_24]

Many men have. I wish women would see that us men don't have these views just so we can one dimensional sexists in order to control women. We are trying to protect ourselves and not end up in that same situation again. What is so wrong with self protection?

 

I like to think I'm not a woman hater, but after having been screwed twice now its hard to not look at women and wonder how I will get screwed next.

 

My first two relationships I was cheated on, my third and current she has doubts about me even though I am trying to be a good BF.

 

My last ex was very promiscuous, and even her mother agrees and is against it, my ex even admitted it. When she left me the way she did I was scarred, and it still affects me to this day.

 

I know other men, both in person and on this forum, who have been through the same thing. We just want to protect ourselves cause we don't want our hearts ripped out stomped on again.

 

Promiscuous women were the ones who screwed us over in the worst way, so I think people like us deserve the right to not date those kind of women fearing they will hurt us again, without getting chewed out by women.

[rafallus]

I like to think I'm not a woman hater, but after having been screwed twice now its hard to not look at women and wonder how I will get screwed next.

 

My first two relationships I was cheated on, my third and current she has doubts about me even though I am trying to be a good BF.

 

My last ex was very promiscuous, and even her mother agrees and is against it, my ex even admitted it. When she left me the way she did I was scarred, and it still affects me to this day.

 

I know other men, both in person and on this forum, who have been through the same thing. We just want to protect ourselves cause we don't want our hearts ripped out stomped on again.

 

Promiscuous women were the ones who screwed us over in the worst way, so I think people like us deserve the right to not date those kind of women fearing they will hurt us again, without getting chewed out by women.

 

You're probably too busy protecting yourself from getting screwed over that you forget to bring her pleasure. Which ironically screws you over.

[collegeguy_24]

You're probably too busy protecting yourself from getting screwed over that you forget to bring her pleasure. Which ironically screws you over.

 

Sadly, thats a lesson I may have learned a little to late. SHe seems willing to give it a try, and I'm willing now, but sadly there are times where I think to much damage was done.

[collegeguy_24]

You're probably too busy protecting yourself from getting screwed over that you forget to bring her pleasure. Which ironically screws you over.

 

Its a lesson I may have learned a little to late, I am trying now, and she seems willing to let me and to try herself, but it looks like I may have caused to much damage to this relationship and hurt her.

 

A lesson I fear I may have learned to late.

[betterdeal]

You're probably too busy protecting yourself from getting screwed over that you forget to bring her pleasure. Which ironically screws you over.

 

Ironically, or sadly?

[Sanman]

I defend your right to not date a person of any gender if you don't want to date them - full stop. I never suggested you date people you don't want to date. You tossed it up to some guy in your past so you have to toss it up for me too. .

 

Wow! That sounds like the same thing one should apply to negative result promiscuity doesn't it? so lets flip this....

 

But I wouldn't expect that he could change his ways and be different yet somehow a female version cannot. The double standard promotes this belief. The double standard promotes that it is worse if this kind of behavior is enacted by a woman and somewhere between "meh" and admirable if it is enacted by a man. It promotes that he can still be a good choice but she cannot. I have never seen evidence to support this as a smart or correct belief.

If instead you are saying both are poor choices for the same reasons, I would agree with you. They are both a bigger gamble than someone who didn't act that way. It does not mean either of them have to continue or are incapable of making a change they can stick to.

 

Alright, I edited your quote to get to the heart of things. Now we are getting somewhere. I don't think that any of the men here are saying that it is alright for them to sleep around and not for women to do so. We are simply saying that many women who are this way are a gamble (and so are male players). I have never said otherwise and used Jesse James as a poor choice for a male mate several times in this thread. Some may reform, others may simply realize they are getting older and need someone to provide for them, and others may mean well and still fall back to their old ways. I don't go into relationships with an official notarized sexual history and three letters of reference. I don't know if she has cheated and lied in the past. I can only go on what she has told me and what I have heard from others who know her. Perhaps the company she keeps as well. I have learned that the chances are that those women who are promiscuous also have many other negative personality traits. Sure, there may be a few that reform, but I am going to get burned many times before I find that one.

 

The co-worker who propositioned me (at all of 23 years old) was 35 years old with two children. She was the party girl that fell for the older gentleman who wined and dined her (and took her to Paris). Now though, he was old, fat, and bald (her words). She was still hot for her age and bored with her marriage and children. As soon as she hit that wall she was back to her old ways and cheated on her husband with at least three men she told me about (I declined her offer). There goes 12 years of marriage for that guy. I don't want to be him.

 

I agree that there are some differences between men and women on the sex front. I mentioned the mental illness issues earlier and how men are prone to acting out, violence, and other anti social behavior, while women prefer self-harm and promiscuity for attention. So, it is much more likely a sign of a personality dysfunction in women as fights and impulsive violence is for men.

 

The other issue was this: If you exclude the top and bottom 5% in terms of attractiveness, for the middle 90% of women it is generally easier to obtain casual sex than for similarly attractive men. A woman, therefore, can choose a single FWB alternative to ONS and still enjoy sex. I enjoy sex and would not hold that against a woman who was not in the position to handle a relationship. While this has come along for some men (myself included) for brief periods, the women I know are able to sustain these types of relationships much more easily. An average guy does not always have this option available and a ONS may be the only sexual pleasure available to him (other than his hands) for several months on either side (before or after) if he is single. Thus, a woman with a string of sexual partners more likely has done so out of intention rather than a lack of other options. I know guys who sleep around as well, cheat, and generally have no interest in their health or the women they sleep with (hence intentional ONS and cheating). I have no respect for those men either.

Edited June 2, 2011 by Sanman

[thatone]

I pulled these quotes off of another thread b/c I think this topic needs its own thread. Guys. We need to talk. I'd like to know why it is that you think that if a girl has a "past" that you feel that you're entitled to the goodies. Yeah, I know that word gets around that a girl is easy and suddenly she's quite popular for awhile with very little effort on her part. Problem is that many women go thru a stage where they're fairly indiscriminate. Maybe they grew up in a crappy homelife and they're reacting to that. Maybe they just got out of a bad relationship. There's a million other reasons, but it happens.

 

Most women who go through this do not stay this way. At some point they wake up and realize that giving it up too easily is not taking them where they want to go and it's keeping them from getting into a serious relationship with a nice man and that if they keep this up they'll be at much greater risk for STDs and the loss of their friends' respect. Whatever. So they pull it in a little bit--they decide that maybe they'll get to know their dates a little better, but they maybe don't realize that the guy they're with tonight only asked them out because he thought he had a sure bet to get some and now she says no and he has a little temper tantrum. Too bad--it's her body and her call as to how she chooses to use it and if you were only asking her out to get easy sex, well, whose fault is it if you didn't get it as easily as you'd hoped? Yes, we women love sex, but from these posts it's obvious to me that the old double standard is still alive and well. I'm here to tell you that there is no good girl/bad girl--simply a lot of women confused as to how they too can enjoy sex and a relationship when all the rules have changed and good ole mom is clueless as to how to help her.

 

people can be whoever they want, but they can't be different tomorrow and erase who they are.

 

women have equality as of the last 10-15 years. what you don't have is the widsom of time to realize the consequences of your actions.

 

some men will have no problem with a woman that has more of a past, some of them will. the only thing you can count on is you won't change ANY of their minds.

 

those men who aren't looking for relationships won't chase a good church going virgin either, because they're not likely to get laid. this is part of your equality, just as you reject some men, some men will reject you. get over it.

 

so the answer to your statement is no, you cannot have an long string of casual sex partners and then turn around one day and expect the next man you meet to be a husband. it won't ever happen. you have to choose who you are and be that person.

 

OMFG this would be HILARIOUS if it weren't so tragic that people actually buy into this BS.

 

Yeah, let's paint all men with the same broad brush of a pathetic loser who goes panting after anything with a vagina because he can only get laid once a millenium.

 

Whatever gets you by, I guess.

There some meat somewhere in that hot air sandwich? or are you just blowing smoke?

 

Are you seriously arguing that the average guy doesn't need to be approaching women frequently and consistently to obtain sex? That he just needs to go out and hold a bushel under the "strange" bush in his backyard and catch the "nookie berries?" and that average men who don't own such a bush are "pathetic losers?"

 

you really need an answer to that? she's a grandmother trying to pretend to be that avatar, look at the rest of her posts.

Edited June 2, 2011 by thatone

[rafallus]

Ironically, or sadly?

 

Pretty ironically when the thing meant to protect you just backfires and does the damage. It may be a sad irony, or a pissing off irony, whatever floats your boat.

 

That's the plain reality of a vast majority of promiscuous women, you have seen men relating this in this thread (blessedly less verbose than me). For the majority of promiscuous women, life is one continuous "Girls Gone Wild" party with a rest stop on the back of some unfortunate sucker. Men know this, we have experienced it, our friends have experienced it, we listen to our elders who have experienced it, our MOTHERS and sisters and aunts warn us about it, and we learn to judge promiscuous women because of it. We don't make it up, it's real. And rationalize, rationalize, rationalize about "life stages," "going through a phase," "having a wild period," "sowing oats," doesn't change the truth one iota.

 

What's the problem though? You don't want them - then don't talk to them. There is enough of guys who will.

[Titania22]

**** I have 4 female cousins and they're all hoes. I love em though. But everytime I see them I always tell them to stop sluttin' around the **** is disgusting. Then they hit me with the classic "B-b-b-b-but you do it to!" Yeah well I have a penis and 2 testes - do you? Oh ok. Shut up.

 

Just want to point out to people who think there is no double standard. This post would seem to indicate that there is.

[carhill]

Yes, apparently so, and, wonder of wonders, so many women keep falling down and landing on the d!cks of those guys. I wonder why? Everyone has a choice.

[Feelsgoodman]

There is a reason why slutty women are considered damage goods. Without exception, every slut I've ever known had serious psychological issues.

 

Sluts are essentially women who try to act like men when it comes to sexual activity. Those who complain about the "double standard" forget one important thing: men and women are different...and fundamentally so. While it's normal for men to try have sex with as many members of the opposite sex as possible, the same is definitely not true of women (the biological/evolutionary reasons for this are obvious). So the old adage of what's good for the goose is good for gander definitely does not apply here.

[Titania22]

men and women are different...and fundamentally so.

 

I completely agree. And people are going to do what they are going to do.

 

My problem is people being judgemental, rather than people who do of don't have sex.

 

I was pointing out a whole lot of guys saying there is no double standard, and one guy being the proof that there is.

 

People without double standards are awesome IMO. If you don't want a girl who has had many partners, and you also would like that girl to not want men who have had lots of partners, that is cool.

 

But to me, guys who want to sleep around heaps but demand purity in the partner they settle down with are hypocrites. In the past I wouldn't have cared either way if my partner had lots of lovers or none, but the idea that I would choose some whore guy, that chose me in part because I haven't lead that sort of life is hypocritical. I don't want to be with a hypocrite. I don't want to be with someone who sets a much higher standard on me, then they do on themselves.

[stepka]

I like to think I'm not a woman hater, but after having been screwed twice now its hard to not look at women and wonder how I will get screwed next.

 

Promiscuous women were the ones who screwed us over in the worst way, so I think people like us deserve the right to not date those kind of women fearing they will hurt us again, without getting chewed out by women.

Honey, we've all been screwed. Be married to a gay person for 23 years and then come back and tell me that I didn't get screwed for 23 years. But, if we want to have a life, we just pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and get back on the horse. Now you will be esp tuned in to signs of promiscuity and I have really worked on refining my gay-dar. Both of us will probably miss some people who would have been perfect for us b/c they have some qualities of that which we are trying to avoid. Well that's life and I wish the best for you.

 

You're probably too busy protecting yourself from getting screwed over that you forget to bring her pleasure. Which ironically screws you over.

It's quite possible, and I have more faith that people can change than most of you on here. I'm busy trying to build a relationship with a man who did the 12 step for drugs and alcohol years ago. Now he's a college professor. I may end up regretting it one day but if I don't pursue this I may regret that more.

 

I don't disagree with this at all. However, my clearly stated position, repeated for the third time now, is that those are in the minority, and so aren't the appropriate focus of the discussion. That far more loose women, emotionally guided and impulsive, engage in bad behavior and never change their whole lives than wake up one day and reform into a rationally guided person who accepts accountability for their actions, past and present.

I disagree with you about the reformed ho's being in the minority but don't have statistics to back it up so I'll leave that for now. However, whether reformed ho's are an appropriate focus for this discussion or not, it is how I introduced the topic. I'd like to throw out some further questions for this though: 1. How do you define slut? A gal who has 10 or more partners within a 2 year period? Or less, and what number defines it? A woman who's had at least one ONS? A woman who occasionally enjoys FWB "relationships"? A woman who has as many partners as she can take on, but doesn't lie about it and doesn't use it to trap unsuspecting men? A woman who is too softhearted to tell a man no? A girl who sleeps with your best friend on the first date and then turns around and tells you no, she'd rather wait? 2. If you believe that it is possible for a woman to go through, say, a year of living dangerously and then reform, how long of a period do you think needs to pass before you would consider her relationship material? Should she stop dating while getting her shyt together?

[stepka]

:lmao: "Well I was jus... just walking down the street and tripped over a chihuahua and... OMG THERE'S A BIG DICK IN ME!! Ewwwwww! GETITOUTGETITOUTGEDDDDDITTTOUTTTTT! PLEAAAAASSEE! WON'T SOMEONE GET THIS DICK OUT OF MEEEEEEEEE?"

 

Watch it--I have a chihuahua. I came back to say to all of you--thanks for keeping this civil. I know it's a touchy subject--for all of us but I think we've done quite well.

[John Michael Kane]

It's because certain *ahem* "men" can't handle the thought of their wee wee being compared to that of others who came before them.

 

It's because certain *ahem* men don't want *ahem* sloppy seconds with the risk of catching *ahem* a disease.