MistakenName Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 I met a wonderful girl last year. She was married and still with a really strange guy who treated her badly. She and I would meet up and the passion between us was incredible. Soon she was out on her own and divorced. Her guilt and depression was so hard on her. She has to split time with her children. I was with her through it, and it was very hard for her. I would cry about it and I don't do that a lot. I was feeling responsible and I wanted her to succeed in life. We broke up after a while because I felt forced into something more then I could handle. I also wanted to have space, and I knew she needed it too. We were fighting a lot and she was very depressed (which I understood completely). Well after 2 months, I saw her out with a man. I felt ill. I couldn't handle it, and I missed her so much. She and I got back together (due to her being kind enough to see me again), but I knew my work was going to be very intense this year, and I told her that maybe we should keep it light for a while and not get too serious. Well that is hard, and we ended up spending 3 days in a row together and being lovers again. So in my head I was not sure what was right. I felt like I needed to be single again, but I truly had never had a woman so loving and kind to me. I loved her too, and was in a wierd situation because my friends are single and would constantly want to go out. Well you know when you are taken all the girls want to meet you then of course. I never cheated on my girl, and in fact I would tell the girls I was with her and quite happy. But my work requires me to not be able to spend enough time with her. So a few days ago things went bad and we have broken up again. I am very confused, because when I am with her, I am happy and I love to hold her and kiss her. But I also feel that I am being pressured to committ and have to be with her a lot more then maybe is healthy. But now that we have broken up again, I miss her so much and I don't know if anyone could ever love me and take care of me like her. No one ever has and I am in my late twenties now. I also felt pressure because my parents are real religious and aren't as sympathetic about divorce as they should be. So they would say that I was taking on more then I could handle (which I probably was) I still think it is worth it for a girl of this caliber. I just hate "the grass is greener" feeling when you are with someone, and then when you are single. I'm starting to wonder if i can ever be happy. It is all very stressful and I don't know what to do anymore. I hope I have not lost my soulmate because I have never connected with anyone this way before. Link to post Share on other sites
reggio Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 I can't say that I feel sympathetic to your cause. It sounds to me like you need to get your priorities straight. First of all, why would you get involved with a married woman, with kids in addition. She obviously wasn't happy in her marriage and was looking for a way out. Don't misunderstand me, she has her own issues to deal with. How can you expect to have a relationship with this person. She's confused about herself and really needs to get help. You sound like a nice person and I'm sure that you have good intentions but step outside of this relationship and see what is really going on. I would suggest that you help her but don't get seriously involved. You will get hurt in the end if you do. Peace. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MistakenName Posted April 14, 2004 Author Share Posted April 14, 2004 I appreciate the advice, but I didn't come here to be judged by someone else. I am not saying what we did was right, but it happened and I believe it happened for a reason. I have never done anything like that in my life (and never will again), and I had my chances before. This was a special and powerful situation and that is all that needs to be said. Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGirlNameKD Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 It sounds like you want a relationship when it's convenient for you. You're work is something you're really into and you like hanging out with the guys. Relationships call for making sacrifices. You're not always going to be able to do what you want to do. You may have to give some things (and notice I said some things, not all things) for the benefit of the relationship. If you're not ready for that, than you're really reading to be in a one on one relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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