bea Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 I have posted a few times regarding my divorce process. It was not something I wanted to do, but due to my husband's decisions and behavior I had to file, not only for my own self - but for stability for my daughter. This site has been an almost daily form of support for me and I am so thankful that I found it. The divorce will be final next month and we have not spoken in over two months. I am in agony. I miss him terribly and the love that I have felt for him since we married has not faded. I have gone through days of feeling strong and sure and then days of sadness, sickness and crying. Lately it has been more of the latter. I think a lot of calling him, sending him a card - an email...something. And I know better. I just would like to hear something encouraging. This is the man I meant to spend the rest of my life with - I don't expect for a second for the love I feel to go away, I just want to find some way to suppress it. Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGirlNameKD Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 There are ways you can alleviate the pain, but don't suppress it, or you won't get over the relationship in a healthy manner. Feelings that you try to hide or suppress will eventually come back at a later time. So it's best to go through the grieving process completely even though it's not a pleasant one. One of the best things you can do for yourself is pamper yourself. Make it a goal for the next 3-6 months to pamper yourself, dot on yourself, and care for yourself. You've been hurt and by pampering yourself, you tell yourself "you've been through alot of lost, and you're going through pain, let me take time to comfort you." If you can, go to a day spa one day. Go eat some place you always wanted to go to but didn't get a chance to (but make sure you don't completely turn to food for comfort), or take a weekend getaway someplace you always wanted to go to but haven't. And some new decorations to your house. Join a dance class or something. Just let it be about comforting yourself. Since you're in a new chapter in your life, even if it is against your will, sometimes doing old things bring back old memories. Try things you haven't done before and you'll be starting a new lease on life. Keep busy. There are going to be moments when you feel good, and like your over it all, and then you're going to have days where you can barely get out of bed. This is all normal. But you're going to be all right. You've experience happiness before you met your husband, you CAN experience it again without him. Just be patient and take time to comfort and pamper yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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