'Signs' (A Poem)

[NLAlston]

A while back, I was in the position of having to console, and give advice to someone who was going through a very tough issue with his wife. Let me, first, say that I am not a therapist - or anything of that nature, but that fellow was someone who thought much of my opinions, and input. It's been a couple of years, since then, but I have not been able to detach myself from what I could only imagine he was going through.

 

Only too well do I know that 'Signs' could very well mean something. There are some people who are not only pessimistic, but jealous also. Those two elements spell disaster, because they are those who will read damaging messages in any and everything that doesn't flow the way they deem that hey should.

 

But, in thinking back on the situation with that one troubled fellow, I recently sat down to write a poem about it. I wanted to post it here in the hopes that it might serve some helpful purpose to someone who may read it. I have titled it "Signs".

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Signs

(by Nathan Lee Alston)

May 13, 2011

 

Though I have tried so very, very hard - again and time again

I could never find any true success, to make her fully comprehend

For it would really take the power of He - Who lives supreme, above

To bring her to full realization, on the true depth of my love

 

I live and breathe her essence, much more than she could know

Insatiably craving her delicious flavor; oh how she fills me so.

but I'm withered, and so nakedly bare- now, when we're apart

An absence that is so hard to bear; taxing this love-filled heart

 

Confident, once, in who she was; now saddled with nagging doubt

not certain if she is still with love, or have found herself without.

Has the candle lost its wax to feed, the continuance of its flame?

Is her heart no longer filled with need? Does she no longer feel the same?

 

Clothed with such uncertainties, brought on by strange designs

I am plagued with the negativities - by what I've seen in 'signs'.

Not fueled by imaginations, as how it's been suggested to me

But by many, clear observations - which has given me sight to see

 

That no longer is it glorious, and I cannot escape what I feel.

'Someone' has been traitorous, and from the bottom of the deck did deal.

Gone is the cohesiveness, that had once held us ever so tight.

Darkened into deceitfulness, which has robbed my life of light.

 

I've fought this battle, long and hard - trying to put this all behind me

And, at best, I found that I could only retard - what always comes back to find me.

Not one to stoop to making up, such a painful situation,

And it seems, now, that our breaking up - is our one true destination

 

Leaving her is not my goal; that isn't my aim to meet

But I wish to mend my battered soul, and to stand back on my feet.

To leave the realm of what now is, outside of these bleak confines,

To know again what it is to live, above the meaning of those 'signs'.

 

I am sure that there was infidelity, even though it did not last

And I know that there is surety, that I cannot change the past.

But what I need is honesty; that the truth is finally brung to light,

To know that she thinks enough of me, to set these matters right.

 

 

Has she fallen back in love with me? And maybe thinks that I would go?

If she finally decided to confess to me; knowing that I know what I know?

Does she think that I would call it done, with the truth being finally revealed?

That I'd go back to being a solitary one, with our separatism being sealed?

 

But that is not what I would do; in no shape, form of fashion.

Because regardless of what may indeed be true, this woman is STILL my passion.

There needs to be some closure, or as much as can be achieved

By the full laid out disclosure, of why I had been so deceived.

 

Only then can I rise above this, though it could never be erased.

Only then can I get back to love this, with those feelings being displaced.

Only then can we back to unity, with the truest of intention.

Only then can we get back to her and me, with no 3rd party intervention.

 

Just knowing what it was that went so wrong, is all the ammunition

-That I would need to keep us strong, against the invading competition.

If, in me, a weakness lies - which caused her to turn away

I need to be made to realize, what's needed to make her never again sway.

 

If she really has that love for me, and honesty to give

She'll find that she can trust in me - to let go, and to let us live

The kind of life we are supposed to share, where everything aligns

As a husband and wife, who really care - beyond, and above the 'signs'.

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