Leigh 87 Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Does any one feel crap when your boyfriend's ex is much prettier or hotter than you? I realize that if you are happy with who you are as a person,then being yourself is something no one else has; no matter how hot their ex is, you are still you, and if the guy loves you for that, the f act his ex has a much hotter body and prettoer face than you will not make him resent or not like YOU as much as her, or want you less than he wanted her... The thing is, I would still be jealous if my boyfriends ex was a model. Luckily my boyfriend has been with goo dlooking girls, but no one who is that much better than me. However, his last girlfriend is far prettier than I am. OUr bodies are the same, btu she is much prettier than me..... I hate it, because how can he look into my eyes and see me as just as beautiful as his ex, when I am actually not? I am not unnatractive ( look at my pics). I am 120 lbs, and have great breasts and a nice butt, which his ex did not have. However, I do not have a very pretty face, and his ex was very, very pretty in the face. I have straight teeth and I am nto offensive, and I lpve my long blonde hair, but I am still not close to being as pretty as her. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 I realize that if you are happy with who you are as a person,then being yourself is something no one else has; no matter how hot their ex is, you are still you, and if the guy loves you for that, the f act his ex has a much hotter body and prettoer face than you will not make him resent or not like YOU as much as her, or want you less than he wanted her... You say you realise this, but you obviously don't believe a word of it. You are patently NOT happy with who you are as a person. if you were, you wouldn't be mailing. No matter how good looking a person, it doesn't make them wonderful to be with. focus on being wonderful to be with. Looks fade, being a lovely person just gets better. Link to post Share on other sites
Blood Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Looks fade, Looks don't fade as much as people want them to and the most attractive woman will remain the most beautiful in her age group while alive barring a tragedy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted June 2, 2011 Author Share Posted June 2, 2011 You say you realise this, but you obviously don't believe a word of it. You are patently NOT happy with who you are as a person. if you were, you wouldn't be mailing. No matter how good looking a person, it doesn't make them wonderful to be with. focus on being wonderful to be with. Looks fade, being a lovely person just gets better. I am, Tara. I am working on learning to like who I am. I want to believe that I can be just as beautiful and wanted fo rbeing me; I want a guy to want me as much as he did a more pretty girl. He may realize the girl was prettier, but he will still WANT me as much, if he loves who I am as aperson. Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 I feel like this post is just you fishing for validation: I am not unnatractive ( look at my pics). I am 120 lbs, and have great breasts and a nice butt, which his ex did not have. However, I do not have a very pretty face, and his ex was very, very pretty in the face. I have straight teeth and I am nto offensive, and I lpve my long blonde hair, but I am still not close to being as pretty as her. You give us a long list of reasons as to why you're pretty as if you're trying to convince us too. The truth is - you need to start being okay with how you look and the fact that there are girls much prettier, smarter, and funnier than you out there. That's a fact and that's just how life is. It's not mean or unfair - you have your own good things to bring to the table. Stop looking at his ex's and claiming that you look better than them - so what. This post made you look insecure, catty and unattractive in personality. Insecurity can leak out and affect your relationship so make sure to keep it in check. Your boyfriend might start to notice and being secure is a very attractive quality to have. Focus on other stuff - comparing your looks to someone else can only be bad news. Link to post Share on other sites
bigmomma1974 Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 People are exs for a reason, so therefore why should it bother you if someone is pretter or not. It wouldn't bug me a bit if they where or where not. Just try to be who you are and happy with who you are that is all that matters,.If he is with you he apperently likes or loves you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted June 2, 2011 Author Share Posted June 2, 2011 I was not being catty, I was telling it how it is; she has a much prettier face than me, but my body is as goo dor slightly better. What I stated above is only physical of course, and I do realize, and it has actually been something I have told myself for MONTHS now; being yourself is ALL you can be. No one else is you, but there will be people who are better than you in every aspect ( funnier, smarter, prettier, etc). I am a strong believer in being yourself, as it is useless comparing yourself to others. Being you is what you have to offer that no one else does. If I was okay with who I was as a person I would not care that his ex was prettier than me. Obviously I need to work on loving myself, and I will be happy enough being myself, to care in what ways his ex was better than me in. Still though; the point of this post, is to ask the question; even if a guy is in love with a girl and does truly want her, can guys SEE if a girl is better or worse than their ex in terms of looks? Of course it would not MATTER to a guy who loved u, but I am curious as to wheather guys DO consciously know if their ex is prettier to look at, physically speaking. Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Ok - well then to answer the OP....Yes I'm sure a guy, to an extent, can see or realize that some of his past girlfriends can be "prettier" than others. One of my ex's was a really, really good looking guy. Other women would stare at him and I often thought he could have been a professional model. I know in my head I think he was technically better looking than other guys I had dated but it didn't make me value the other guys more or less. It was just kind of a fact I was indifferent to: "Joe was the best looking in terms of physical appearance." I'm guessing that even if your BF thinks one of his ex's was better looking than you - he's most likely indifferent to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted June 2, 2011 Author Share Posted June 2, 2011 Ok - well then to answer the OP....Yes I'm sure a guy, to an extent, can see or realize that some of his past girlfriends can be "prettier" than others. One of my ex's was a really, really good looking guy. Other women would stare at him and I often thought he could have been a professional model. I know in my head I think he was technically better looking than other guys I had dated but it didn't make me value the other guys more or less. It was just kind of a fact I was indifferent to: "Joe was the best looking in terms of physical appearance." I'm guessing that even if your BF thinks one of his ex's was better looking than you - he's most likely indifferent to it. Thanks! This is exactly the sort of response that has answered my question; that yes, he probably realizes his ex had a prettier face than me, but it is not as though he values me more or less than her as a result. I have a better body than her, but I am sure he does not sit around and analyze who has a better what, in terms of physical appearance.... I hope he is indiferent to it! It would suck if he did think about how he wished he was with some one as pretty as his ex from time to time! Link to post Share on other sites
aisle_seat Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Good looks may work to bring people together, but don't mean nearly as much for building and maintaining a strong relationship. I've dated very pretty girls but when there was no spark and/or an incompatible personality, their beauty just didn't matter. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 However, his last girlfriend is far prettier than I am. OUr bodies are the same, btu she is much prettier than me..... I hate it, because how can he look into my eyes and see me as just as beautiful as his ex, when I am actually not? Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If he loves you then he is not looking at your outward appearance. You could be the ugliest pig in the sty but he would find you beautiful because you are YOU. I know some very unattractive people who are happily married, do you think they constantly accuse their husbands of lying when they say they are beautiful? No, I think Tara said it right, you do not believe your own first paragraph. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted June 2, 2011 Author Share Posted June 2, 2011 I have already alluded to the fact that Tara is indeed correct, in her statement regarding me not liking who I am; I do not like who I am enough to be loved. We are not in love, we are just boy friend and girlfriend at this stage. I am hoping that if I take the right steps that will lead to me being a person I like more, this guy or the next guy may come to really like me and even love me. Link to post Share on other sites
Rinnix Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 My boyfriend hasn't had any ex'es. However, the women he was into prior to me look dramatically different. He had a crush on a girl with a curvy figure, long dark hair, and overall a very sweet character. I on the other hand am very slim, was blonde (not anymore hah.) and was more of a sassy character. At the time she may have been a better pick as she was much softer then me, but I suppose I caught his eye. (I later met her, I liked her too!) He never was attracted to blondes, and then I came around and changed his mind! He often tells me how he thought he could "never get a girl like me" and that I was "too good for him." He thought he won the jackpot. Honestly, it just shows that we all have taste that varries. He is often attracted to women who wouldn't be in my taste. Same with my taste on men. Just because you think that shes more attractive, it doesn't mean that he notices or sees it that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Couple this thread with the other one you have going about your bf's view on your genitals I would have to say then that: You are dating a guy who isn't over his ex.....dump him Any guy who makes you feel this way is garbage.. You are beautiful and any guy should consider it a treat to be in your company y. Link to post Share on other sites
Rinnix Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Oh wow, I just saw your other thread. Gas your boyfriend compared your looks to his ex? (Other than private areas.) Link to post Share on other sites
someonesangel84 Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Does any one feel crap when your boyfriend's ex is much prettier or hotter than you? I realize that if you are happy with who you are as a person,then being yourself is something no one else has; no matter how hot their ex is, you are still you, and if the guy loves you for that, the f act his ex has a much hotter body and prettoer face than you will not make him resent or not like YOU as much as her, or want you less than he wanted her... The thing is, I would still be jealous if my boyfriends ex was a model. Luckily my boyfriend has been with goo dlooking girls, but no one who is that much better than me. However, his last girlfriend is far prettier than I am. OUr bodies are the same, btu she is much prettier than me..... I hate it, because how can he look into my eyes and see me as just as beautiful as his ex, when I am actually not? I am not unnatractive ( look at my pics). I am 120 lbs, and have great breasts and a nice butt, which his ex did not have. However, I do not have a very pretty face, and his ex was very, very pretty in the face. I have straight teeth and I am nto offensive, and I lpve my long blonde hair, but I am still not close to being as pretty as her. just because you think shes hotter than you doesnt mean he thinks that, he could think your hotter than her. Everyone has different opinions Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Oh wow, I just saw your other thread. Gas your boyfriend compared your looks to his ex? (Other than private areas.) Yea - this prompted me to read other threads - in one post you even said that your *private* area is tighter than his ex's. Ummmmm - how the hell do you know that and why do you know that? This sounds like an extremely unhealthy relationship. He's messed up for talking about that stuff in the first place and you're not being wise to stick around and actually listen to it. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 I have dated men who had exes who were in my opinion, better looking than me. If shown a picture, I would say : She is beautiful. Once. And then I would never think about it again. Also, I would assume his opinion was that I was better looking. But I wouldnt ask. You have to remember that a woman or man can be beautiful but that after getting to know them, especially if it doesnt work out...they become average pretty quick. Same goes the other way. In my opinion I am average but for some reason, some guys think Im pretty hot. Until they dont, you know? Link to post Share on other sites
Rinnix Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Darn iphone and spelling mistakes. Op, instead of questioning whos hotter, id put the effort into finding a new guy. This boyfriend has made you insecure for no good reason. I think you look stunning, don't compare yourself! Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Darn iphone and spelling mistakes. Op, instead of questioning whos hotter, id put the effort into finding a new guy. This boyfriend has made you insecure for no good reason. I think you look stunning, don't compare yourself! I want to helpfully point out (and this doesn't come from a nasty place) that I don't think this guy is 100% responsible or "made" her insecure. A secure woman wouldn't tolerate a guy that talks about how tight his ex was. A secure woman also wouldn't waste the time thinking about how Girl A had a nicer face than her but she has a better body than Girl B. It's natural to compare but this seems a bit extreme. Link to post Share on other sites
Rinnix Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 (edited) While I agree that she may have had insecurities, he had no right to bring her down more by making such comparassions. I would have kicked the guy to the curb! Edited June 2, 2011 by Rinnix Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Still though; the point of this post, is to ask the question; even if a guy is in love with a girl and does truly want her, can guys SEE if a girl is better or worse than their ex in terms of looks? Of course it would not MATTER to a guy who loved u, but I am curious as to wheather guys DO consciously know if their ex is prettier to look at, physically speaking. yes, men see that about 10-20 times a minute, on average. does that make you feel better? the fact is it's not different than women are. for example, looks are great until you realize that every time she opens her mouth something incredibly stupid falls out of it. then you get to a point of thinking the looks aren't worth the trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
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