brokendreamz Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Sometimes you have to remind yourself of this fact and start looking forward. There's nothing you can do to change the past and I know how hard it is but you have to concentrate on shaping your future. I've spent literally months caught up in circular negative thinking. Today I think I'm finally realising acceptance. It's a scary feeling, more sad than anything else because I now understand that I never want to see her again. She told me she's hooked up with a guy from work, I didn't sleep that night and felt sick to my stomach. I have so many questions that I don't want to know the answer to But I honestly hope she's happy. I am not... YET!!! I've lost so much but also gained a new perspective on life. I have started low contact and in a few weeks (once the house is sold) I will make no contact a way of life. What's done is done - time to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Renard99 Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Glad to hear you're at the acceptance stage. I hit that about 2 weeks ago. I know from my experience that it doesn't change the amount of pain you feel or the fact that you still miss her but it certainly means a step forward has been taken. Link to post Share on other sites
BlindRage Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 (edited) It's good that you've started to accept it. When you do go NC, it'll be difficult, but see it as a great achievement. What I compare NC with is quitting an addiction. Okay, so the first week-month will be the difficult one. This is when you start really taking it within yourself that this person is out. No more of ANYTHING with them. You could also start showing symptoms of addiction withdrawal: anxiety, shakiness (this one is specially true for me when I went NC), weight loss, depression, fatigue etc. Once this phase is over you become really accepting. You understand that it's for the best and you'll be proud of yourself that you achieved NC -which in thus ultimately helps you continue NC-. Eventually the day comes that you don't feel that 'urge' to even speak to them. It becomes second nature. Then you can start being comfortable with yourself and even start being happy. You will begin to enjoy things you felt you never would again. You'll even start thinking of a future with ANOTHER person, thats not your ex, in it. I mean, sure, they'll always be there, but it won't shatter you knowing they are anymore. Edited June 2, 2011 by BlindRage Link to post Share on other sites
NicoleM Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Excellent advice and so,so true. Link to post Share on other sites
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