Messed up - broke NC after 60 days

[Aqua066]

I feel pretty bad right now. I broke NC after 60 days via an email message. This is a girl I dated for lil over 1.5 yrs and she works with me. We had a pretty rocky relationship to be honest. She was very insecure about things and got very jealous easily. She also was very reclusive. So if we had an argument shed retreat. Sometimes I wouldn't talk to her for weeks. I used to call her turtle because she was so not good at dealing w confrontation or with her emotions. She would cry all time over silly stuff.

 

Anyway we broke up officially back in November. She didn't think we worked together, blah, blah , blah. We went periods where we didn't talk for weeks and then there were periods where we did talk. She started dating a new guy and I started dating.. I made the mistake of dating a girl from work (someone she didn't know). It was very casual and only lasted about six dates. I had been made fully aware of my ex new man by her prior to even to even dating this other girl.

 

So over the course of the next three months she would reach out to me. We actually hung out on three seperate occurrances where we spent entire weekends together... sex and all. Each time she would cry and tell me how confused she was... but other than that I thought everything was fine. I was wrong. Each time she would pull back. She would sen me texts saying she's too confused and didn't think I should wait around for her. She was still seeing the other guy which she had told me the last time we were together that they had problems.

 

So I withdrew. The last time I was pretty upset and sent her an email two months ago basically saying that I deserved better than this (which I do) and that I was walking away for good. But alo said some dumb things about her having some major problems in head, etc. I came off really bitter. She never replied to the email. I went NC. I avoided her like the plague at work. I didn't go to the caf, I parked on the opposite side of the parking lot, etc. However I saw her two days ago close up for the 1st time. I did go to the caf to get a coffee. She was coming in w her coffee mug, saw me then turned around. She looked upset.

 

So after seeing how upset she was I thought id send her an email. I didn't beg her or anything. I just didn't want to come as being so bitter. I told her that's what's done is done. I held no grudges and that we didn't have to be enemies. Also told her I was playing my 1st acoustic show next week and thanked her for being so supportive of my music when we were together. Very nice. No questions for her, no pressure or anything.

 

So its only been a day but no response. It sucks. I'm pretty sure she's still w this guy I guess. Maybe that's why. Idk. I thought she at least say good luck @ my show or something. I guess not. Maybe she is mad @ me. I know she was upset when she found out I dated a girl from work. Makes no sense since she was already w someone else...

 

So I think I got to stick to NC this time forever. Her no response is my closure. At least I think I removed some of the bitterness I displayed in my communication prior to the 60 day NC. God I feel awful today.,, like a bag of ****. Need to avoid her @ all costs. I should have never broken NC!! At least I didn't come off like a wimp or anything.

 

Sorry so long. Just had to vent. I feel so terrible that I broke NC...

[usabup]

I feel pretty bad right now. I broke NC after 60 days via an email message. This is a girl I dated for lil over 1.5 yrs and she works with me. We had a pretty rocky relationship to be honest. She was very insecure about things and got very jealous easily. She also was very reclusive. So if we had an argument shed retreat. Sometimes I wouldn't talk to her for weeks. I used to call her turtle because she was so not good at dealing w confrontation or with her emotions. She would cry all time over silly stuff.

 

Anyway we broke up officially back in November. She didn't think we worked together, blah, blah , blah. We went periods where we didn't talk for weeks and then there were periods where we did talk. She started dating a new guy and I started dating.. I made the mistake of dating a girl from work (someone she didn't know). It was very casual and only lasted about six dates. I had been made fully aware of my ex new man by her prior to even to even dating this other girl.

 

So over the course of the next three months she would reach out to me. We actually hung out on three seperate occurrances where we spent entire weekends together... sex and all. Each time she would cry and tell me how confused she was... but other than that I thought everything was fine. I was wrong. Each time she would pull back. She would sen me texts saying she's too confused and didn't think I should wait around for her. She was still seeing the other guy which she had told me the last time we were together that they had problems.

 

So I withdrew. The last time I was pretty upset and sent her an email two months ago basically saying that I deserved better than this (which I do) and that I was walking away for good. But alo said some dumb things about her having some major problems in head, etc. I came off really bitter. She never replied to the email. I went NC. I avoided her like the plague at work. I didn't go to the caf, I parked on the opposite side of the parking lot, etc. However I saw her two days ago close up for the 1st time. I did go to the caf to get a coffee. She was coming in w her coffee mug, saw me then turned around. She looked upset.

 

So after seeing how upset she was I thought id send her an email. I didn't beg her or anything. I just didn't want to come as being so bitter. I told her that's what's done is done. I held no grudges and that we didn't have to be enemies. Also told her I was playing my 1st acoustic show next week and thanked her for being so supportive of my music when we were together. Very nice. No questions for her, no pressure or anything.

 

So its only been a day but no response. It sucks. I'm pretty sure she's still w this guy I guess. Maybe that's why. Idk. I thought she at least say good luck @ my show or something. I guess not. Maybe she is mad @ me. I know she was upset when she found out I dated a girl from work. Makes no sense since she was already w someone else...

 

So I think I got to stick to NC this time forever. Her no response is my closure. At least I think I removed some of the bitterness I displayed in my communication prior to the 60 day NC. God I feel awful today.,, like a bag of ****. Need to avoid her @ all costs. I should have never broken NC!! At least I didn't come off like a wimp or anything.

 

Sorry so long. Just had to vent. I feel so terrible that I broke NC...

 

Sorry to hear your feeling down mate. Don't worry, it happens to the best of us.

 

I think breaking NC is fine if you have healed and it dosnt effect you whether you get a response or not. But I think in your case, because you have to work with her, it probably makes things a little difficult for you to fully get over her.

 

Just go back to NC, she may just be ignoring you because of the new guy.

[Aqua066]

Just thought I'd provide an update. My ex did reply to my email. In fact, we exchanged about three emails each over the course of a week. The last one coming from her last Monday night at about 1am in the morning. She was just nice in the emails... still very distant and still did not care really to ask anything about me. When I asked how she was doing - the answer I got was that she was "still lost". That was the last email and I haven't replied. Not that I should or anything since she didn't ask me one question eventhough its been two months of NC.

 

I am going to stick to NC this time... check that - I HAVE to stick to NC this time. I did accomplish replacing our previous last contact with a more up beat communication. I hated leaving it on such a bitter note. Unfortunately I have to work with her.

 

The worse thing is that this has really slowed my healing down again. I had a terrible weekend. Thought about her a lot. I just don't know how someone could change so much in a matter of a couple of months. She could give a **** about me! And it still hurts like hell! I wish it didn't but it does...

[Aqua066]

What have others experienced? Has anyone else broken NC after a long period of time (my case was 60 days)? What happened?

 

I probably shouldn't of broke NC. I guess u live and you learn.

 

Btw - thank you USABUP for replying. Great feedback.

[usabup]

What have others experienced? Has anyone else broken NC after a long period of time (my case was 60 days)? What happened?

 

I probably shouldn't of broke NC. I guess u live and you learn.

 

Btw - thank you USABUP for replying. Great feedback.

 

Well I can tell you my experience. I made the mistake of breaking no contact on a weekly basis so I pretty much saw her grieving process and watched her get over me with my own eyes. All via e-mail, we never met in person but it was horrible.

 

It started with her telling me the same thing your ex told you, that she was lost. She told me that she missed me so much as was so happy we still spoke. Then a couple of weeks later, that turned into her being slightly more distant and bitter towards me.

 

A couple of weeks after that, she would just get angry about me even contacting her. Now, she won't even talk to me!

 

So I'd say that fact you can even communicate at all is a good thing. You have to expect her to be distant with you. She has an emotional wall up and is protecting herself. That's not a bad thing, it's just the way of the women!