Fugu Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 I'm not the greatest at remembering dates. I sometimes forget the birthdays of my friends and even family members by like a day or two, and sometimes they forget mine by the same, but it doesn't bother me. And I've usually remembered my wife's birthdays and the anniversaries and so forth...until a few days ago. But I forgot. I've had a busy week with work and I forgot her birthday. It wasn't like I forgot what day it was, it's just that I called her after work and it hadn't dawned on me what day it was. We didn't really even talk about it beforehand, either. A simple reminder or hint a day or two before and I would've remembered for sure, but I didn't this time. Short of it is, she's "disappointed"...which is, as any married person knows, a hell of a lot worse than "pissed." Ugh. Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Make reservations for a weekend getaway. NOW. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fugu Posted June 3, 2011 Author Share Posted June 3, 2011 Make reservations for a weekend getaway. NOW. Her mother's in town until mid month. It wouldn't be just a getaway for the two of us. I'm on good terms with her mother - at least I think anyway. Would a nice dinner do? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Her mother's in town until mid month. It wouldn't be just a getaway for the two of us. I'm on good terms with her mother - at least I think anyway. Would a nice dinner do? So her mother knows you forgot her daughter's birthday? Sheeeeet. A nice dinner would have been standard. You have some serious making up to do... Link to post Share on other sites
russt Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Just tell her the truth. I did that several years ago one time, her bday is march 3rd and I had it in my mind it was march 5th, I didn't forget, I got her a card and a gift and gave it to her the morning of the 5th, and said Happy Bday, she said, well thanks but your either late or real early, because my bday is over. I told her I was sorry, I just had it in my mind it was the 5th. Yea she played the cool shoulder treatment, brought it up a couple times over the phone in idle conversation to make sure I heard it to make me feel like a heel. After that, I made a reminder in outlook since I check email daily, and now with smart phones I have a reminder in there starting a week before the day. I'm like you, I could care less the day of, in fact if I am or if she is working on my or her bday, I just tell her will celebrate the following weekend day we have off together, why burn days off at work just to go out "that" day, the thought of the moment is there it doesn't have to be that specific day... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fugu Posted June 3, 2011 Author Share Posted June 3, 2011 So her mother knows you forgot her daughter's birthday? Sheeeeet. A nice dinner would have been standard. You have some serious making up to do... We live apart at times. My work keeps us apart at certain times during the year. I'll see her again next week. When I get back in town, I'll take her out (maybe her mother too). Link to post Share on other sites
John Michael Kane Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 I'm not the greatest at remembering dates. I sometimes forget the birthdays of my friends and even family members by like a day or two, and sometimes they forget mine by the same, but it doesn't bother me. And I've usually remembered my wife's birthdays and the anniversaries and so forth...until a few days ago. But I forgot. I've had a busy week with work and I forgot her birthday. It wasn't like I forgot what day it was, it's just that I called her after work and it hadn't dawned on me what day it was. We didn't really even talk about it beforehand, either. A simple reminder or hint a day or two before and I would've remembered for sure, but I didn't this time. Short of it is, she's "disappointed"...which is, as any married person knows, a hell of a lot worse than "pissed." Ugh. Any ideas? Make it up to her. Tell her you're sorry and say you have no excuse. Make something creative for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fugu Posted June 3, 2011 Author Share Posted June 3, 2011 Just tell her the truth. I did that several years ago one time, her bday is march 3rd and I had it in my mind it was march 5th, I didn't forget, I got her a card and a gift and gave it to her the morning of the 5th, and said Happy Bday, she said, well thanks but your either late or real early, because my bday is over. I told her I was sorry, I just had it in my mind it was the 5th. Yea she played the cool shoulder treatment, brought it up a couple times over the phone in idle conversation to make sure I heard it to make me feel like a heel. After that, I made a reminder in outlook since I check email daily, and now with smart phones I have a reminder in there starting a week before the day. I'm like you, I could care less the day of, in fact if I am or if she is working on my or her bday, I just tell her will celebrate the following weekend day we have off together, why burn days off at work just to go out "that" day, the thought of the moment is there it doesn't have to be that specific day... LOL! I couldn't have lied to her. Was pretty freaking obvious I forgot her birthday. Thing is, I know exactly what day it was on, and when I called her right after work, I knew what day it was on the calendar. I just didn't connect immediately that it was her birthday. Then she told me...you forgot what day it was??? You forgot that it was my birthday? And I was like "Oh *****!!!" I apologized profusely. I've been apologizing. She's not angry, but I can tell I am not her favorite person on the planet at the moment. I feel horrible. I feel like a f*cking moron. Sometimes I am a bit of a social idiot, to tell the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 So her mother knows you forgot her daughter's birthday? Sheeeeet. A nice dinner would have been standard. You have some serious making up to do... This made me lol Link to post Share on other sites
John Michael Kane Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Or you could give her a good old fashioned booty call. Link to post Share on other sites
wrongedwife Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Better to forget than not have bought a present or made any plans, then have to have her rush you to the hospital for appendicitis! The H did that on my 19th birthday when we had been together only a year, how rude! It was my first birthday since we were together to! Link to post Share on other sites
Afishwithabike Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 These things happen. Make it up to her in a way you think she'd appreciate. Much as I wax poetic in my posts about my husband, he has forgotten my birthday and more than once too. It's not as big a deal for me anymore since he's wonderful so many other days of the year. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 I don't think this is something you can make up for in haste. If you aren't there, send some beautiful flowers and a card that says something along the lines of "I'm a schmuck who loves you today and everyday". If you've already apologized a bunch, don't apologize again on the card. Keep it light. And then make plans to do something she loves together when you get back, as a belated birthday celebration. The most important thing is to make sure it doesn't happen again. Program your phone to remind you a week ahead of time, the day before, and the actual day. Use each reminder to bring up her birthday. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 I'm not the greatest at remembering dates. I sometimes forget the birthdays of my friends and even family members by like a day or two, and sometimes they forget mine by the same, but it doesn't bother me. And I've usually remembered my wife's birthdays and the anniversaries and so forth...until a few days ago. But I forgot. I've had a busy week with work and I forgot her birthday. It wasn't like I forgot what day it was, it's just that I called her after work and it hadn't dawned on me what day it was. We didn't really even talk about it beforehand, either. A simple reminder or hint a day or two before and I would've remembered for sure, but I didn't this time. Short of it is, she's "disappointed"...which is, as any married person knows, a hell of a lot worse than "pissed." Ugh. Any ideas? As SOON as you get a new calendar, you write in her bday. Associate her bday (obviously you know what month it is) with a sports player's number or make up song/rhyme that will stick in your head and it'll remind you of when her bday is. She's hurt. Probably feels like she isn't important to you and you don't really care a whole lot about her feelings. Birthdays may mean nothing to you, but they mean something to her. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 LOL! I couldn't have lied to her. Was pretty freaking obvious I forgot her birthday. Thing is, I know exactly what day it was on, and when I called her right after work, I knew what day it was on the calendar. I just didn't connect immediately that it was her birthday. Then she told me...you forgot what day it was??? You forgot that it was my birthday? And I was like "Oh *****!!!" I apologized profusely. I've been apologizing. She's not angry, but I can tell I am not her favorite person on the planet at the moment. I feel horrible. I feel like a f*cking moron. Sometimes I am a bit of a social idiot, to tell the truth. Oh don't ever lie about forgetting her birthday or any other occasion, that would be baddddd.. She knows you and knows it isn't personal, but it still hurts her feelings. Stop apologizing, I agree with the others! Just tell her you'll make it up to her and you'll do your best not to let it happen again. Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 well since you are apart send her flowers with a card. Included some of her favorites. Than do something romantic for her when you get back. It needs to be something more than just dinner. Because right now she is probably feeling forgotten and not special. IS there anything you can do or give that is special to her. Like a necklace she said she wanted or an experiance she always wanted but never got. Or something special for you two? So you can make her feel loved and that you listen to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Agreed, that the next step is to make your wife feel special and listened-to, because right now she is feeling de-prioritized and forgotten. This is NOT necessarily a time to bust out the big spendy presents, because then she might feel like you're just trying to buy your way out of the doghouse, which is very impersonal and dodges the issue...what this calls for is likely more romantic than that. Some gift or gesture that references a special time between the two of you, a fond memory, or something she has spoken about wistfully but never attempted to secure for herself for whatever reason. If she is both a verbal and romantic person, maybe a love letter from the heart. A nice dinner is always welcome, but that would have been the standard and you need to go a little above and beyond that now. Also, nice dinners kind of depend anyway on how you do your normal routine...for example my husband is a big foodie and likes to eat out a lot and we live in an area with a ton of different cuisines, so going to a restaurant for my birthday is kind of anticlimactic because it's like any other weekend, not particularly off-routine. Still nice, just not special. Link to post Share on other sites
pilotDXB Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 Ive been in my gf's mom's doghouse before, its not a pleasant place. How is your mother in law taking it? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 You are getting some good advice... Other than falling on your sword, to me the only thing you can do is have an open an honest conversation with her about it and then make amends. and yes.. take her and her mother to a nice dinner... you are going to have to patch this up with her mother now too and fer gawd sakes... start using Outlook's Calendar function or FB to remind you... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fugu Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 (edited) You are getting some good advice... Other than falling on your sword, to me the only thing you can do is have an open an honest conversation with her about it and then make amends. and yes.. take her and her mother to a nice dinner... you are going to have to patch this up with her mother now too and fer gawd sakes... start using Outlook's Calendar function or FB to remind you... I don't think her mother's too upset at the moment. In fact, my wife and her mother seem to be more preoccupied with not getting on each other's nerves. I think my wife is beginning to turn the page. I've been super apologetic and attentive ever since, and who knows...I might get some time off with good behavior. Your advice about outlook is good. Am scheduling the big dates now. September's the next biggie -- the anniversary. I dare not forget that one. Oh, and by the way, I wasn't in the "dog house"...I was in the sh*t house. Dog house is when you do something stupid and annoying, like say, spend a little extra money on a television without consulting your wife first, or having a bender with the boys -- that'll land you in the dog house. Forgetting your wife's birthday gets you in the sh*t house. Edited June 5, 2011 by Fugu Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Just make it up to her on another day. If you've been together a long time and you've been good in all other aspects and other birthdays, a decent woman would let it slide. Now, for next year, save it on your phone or something, for pete's sake. Link to post Share on other sites
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