SheL113 Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 What is your story? What did you do? Have you finally moved on? Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 It might be worth you checking out the "addicted to someone" thread under Dating, it's very similar. You want someone who is unavailable or who doesn't want you in the same way. I think it can be just as hard letting go of someone who you love but doesn't love you, as it is letting go someone afte relationship. I'm there right now and can honestly say that even though this was shorter and mostly one sided, I still feel more strongly for her then I did any previous long term relationship. It's annoying too as it's hard for people to understand. The reply is always the same "well it's not as if you two dated or lived together". Sorry but I can't explain why I feel this way I just know I do - that was my exact line to my love when I said goodbye, which is often the only solution. Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 It seems like it would be even harder to let go of an unrequited love because the relationship only existed in your mind... where your mind is what fills in the blanks of how the person would be like in a relationship. Therefore your mind puts all the things you WANT in a mate on to that person... making them that perfect person. The imagination is a horribly powerful thing when it gets to working along those lines. You will sit and daydream about that person, have conversations with them when they are not there, think about what a future with them could be like... Its far more intense than actually being in a relationship with them because your mind is doing so much more work, but you are often not getting the physical payoff of actually being in a relationship with them...hence the burn that comes with it being in its unrequited state. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 Not exactly an unrequited 'love', but rather an unrequited 'relationship', the 'friend' in my journals and I had an on and off 'whatever' through two marriages and 25+ years. Love letters and ILY's were exchanged, physical affection was given and received, flirtation occurred, intimacy was, for all intents and purposes, bi-lateral. I'd place it somewhere between an intense platonic dynamic and an emotional affair but would identify it as an emotional affair, since both M's were affected and de-prioritized. MC and finally accepting her for who she is allowed closure and detachment. I hope she finds some peace and happiness. We would have made a lousy relationship, so it worked out for the best in the end. Reading your situation, OP, I think you made a wise choice and at a very young age. Kudos to you. Link to post Share on other sites
nyc_guy2003 Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 It seems like it would be even harder to let go of an unrequited love because the relationship only existed in your mind... where your mind is what fills in the blanks of how the person would be like in a relationship. Therefore your mind puts all the things you WANT in a mate on to that person... making them that perfect person. The imagination is a horribly powerful thing when it gets to working along those lines. You will sit and daydream about that person, have conversations with them when they are not there, think about what a future with them could be like... Its far more intense than actually being in a relationship with them because your mind is doing so much more work, but you are often not getting the physical payoff of actually being in a relationship with them...hence the burn that comes with it being in its unrequited state. Well said on this one. I detailed my addiction on the Addicted to a Person thread and this fits my behavior to a T. Link to post Share on other sites
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