Girlfriend tested my loyalty: I don't need that kind of psychotic craziness

[gaia]

She is a psychotic, invasive, and sneaky person

 

That woman is psychotic

 

 

I have met many people who are genuinely psychotic. Maybe you two will one day, and then you might find out what the word actually means!

[Leigh Anne]

Oh boy, if she isn't psychotic, and I am wrong by using that word, then I REALLY don't want to meet a psychotic person!!! No thanks, I like sane, healthy, drama free, secure partners.

[Natural9]

I don't think you did anything wrong. If an attractive girl asked me out and I was in a crap relationship I'd take her up on her offer. Why hold myself back for the sake of someone I didn't really like when I have an opportunity to move on to something better. You just got unlucky it was really your girlfriend.

[gaia]

When my husband and I first met, he was having problems extricating himself from a previous relationship which had turned very sour. I was a little (!) insecure about this girl, who phoned up and wrote to him all the time. One weekend, he phoned to say that he couldn't meet me that night, gave some feeble excuse and told me I couldn't phone him back because he was in a phone box (and gave me its location). I had a very strong feeling something was up, so I dialled 1471 and got the number he'd phoned from. Then I drove to the phone box and checked its number. It wasn't the same.

 

I confronted him, he explained that she had phoned him saying she would kill herself if he didn't let her stay and he had thought that I would kill him if I knew she was coming!!! This situation helped, because then we were able to deal with the exGF appropriately, together and we're still together 11 years later.

 

Do people consider what I did "psychotic"?

[YoungSuccesful]

This is funny...

 

Sorry about your luck man...

 

But it sounds like she didnt trust you anyway and for her to pull something stupid like that

 

and you to fall for it...

 

you guys shouldnt be together...

 

How old are you and her?

 

Maturity?

 

Just a thought

[CurlyIam]

It's just one thing I don't understand. Before getting into the main point, let me just say I can't stand cheaters. I like them, they're almost always damn attractive, sure of themselves, but ... well,they came with allthe package.

 

On the other hand, if the relationship is an opened one and you two made were in it for the fun of it, why not. Mind you, both partners are aware of the situation, no one feels "kept in the dark".

 

Getting back to the main point: you had your post on a date site for 6 months, your girlfriend knew it and let it go away? Doesn't quite make sense to me, not in a 6 and a half long serious relationship.

 

Maybe I'm all twisted or something, but to me it's just like the elevator thing. How many of you guys wouldn't have answered the post? Well, not instantely, she got you there. But how many of you wouldn't have been tempted by the idea if you were in eye's shoes?

 

I believe if you think that your relationship isn't working, there are 2 solutions:

 

1. go buy yourself a new attitude and a whole set of new lingery to match it

2. leave the guy

 

My point: she knew it wasn't working,she knew you were weak, she played you like a toy and got her way - out of the relationship and being martyr too.

[She's Come Undone]

I don't think what she did was psychotic. What it really sounds like is that she was looking for a way out of the relationship as well, and merely blew up so it would be your fault and she'd get off guilt-free.

 

I think when people use the word psychotic they are merely referring to the one action, not the whole person. Like when people call people retarded, they obviously know the person is not literally retarded, but maybe some things they do mirror actions of a mentally disabled person. Relax people!! LOL I mean you psychos!!

[reggio]

I wouldn't strand for that. What gives her the right to do this to you. Your right when you said this was entrapment.

 

If she's insecure of the relationship, that's her problem and not yours.

 

Sounds to me that she has a lot of growing up to do. She should of discussed her insecurity with you face to face and not trick you the way she did.

 

You would be better off without her. Let some other sucker fall for it.

[Fritz]

Originally posted by sportsloving

I am sorry, it's too funny~

 

Perhaps you never watched that reality show they did about a year ago when they set the boyfriend up in an elevator with a hottie. Sadly, about 9 out of 10 did exactly what you did. Ouch!

 

Best of luck (perhaps with your next girlfriend?)

 

 

Yeah, sad. Yet, if it was done with 10 women and a brad pitt type guy.. I bet 9/10 women would do the same thing. Ahh stereotypes...

 

 

Perhaps I'm just jaded..

[Goatsbreath]

I think what she did was wrong and yes,....somewhat crazy. First off, she has all the key cards because she knows him. She can send him the perfect picture of what his ideal hot girl is. She can say all the things that would make him interested. Hey EYE....any chance that this hot fantasy made up chick was into football and liked giving blow jobs. So see its not fair. I mean, half the battle for a guy is to keep him self out of places he shouldn't be, out of situations he shouldn't be in. Basically- out of the reach of temptation. This guy was sucker punched. Hes being all innocent sitting watching football at home and the girls are busting through his computer asking for dates. What gives? Unacceptable!

 

And just a word to all you thinking that its a good idea! I dare you- I bet when it really comes down to it,.....you dont want to. Your scared.

[dolphinsunshyn]

Originally posted by reggio

I wouldn't strand for that. What gives her the right to do this to you. Your right when you said this was entrapment.

 

If she's insecure of the relationship, that's her problem and not yours.

 

Sounds to me that she has a lot of growing up to do. She should of discussed her insecurity with you face to face and not trick you the way she did.

 

You would be better off without her. Let some other sucker fall for it.

 

Come on.....

 

At what point does he have to take responsibiliy??? That fact is he was willing to jeopardize a relationship for some stranger on the internet! Why is that the girl's fault? He probably gave her some reason not to trust him in the first place. She needed to know if she could trust him and if he took this relationship seriously. Many times girls try to talk about it and the guy is less than receptive. Obviously there was a lack of communication going on. But the fact of the matter is still the same. He took the bait. That is the real issue.

 

A relationship will never work if you can't admit fault and take responsibility for your actions. The first part of learning from this situation and moving on is realizing that HE was the one to make a mistake. I'm not condoning her actions, persay. But shifting the blame onto her is an easy out for him. How is one ever going to learn from his/her mistakes unless he/she can first realize that one was made?

[CurlyIam]

I am totally for not knowing and I admit it. I mean not in a million years would I set a guy up like that. But if I were to get serious with a guy - plan to move in with him for instance - you can be sure I'll send one of my attractive friends to tempt him in a bar. The one night stand temptation .

 

And the big prize would be... me?!?

[sportsloving]

Originally posted by Fritz

Yeah, sad. Yet, if it was done with 10 women and a brad pitt type guy.. I bet 9/10 women would do the same thing. Ahh stereotypes...

 

 

Perhaps I'm just jaded..

 

Hey I agree, although placing me in an elevator with Brad Pitt would do no good, perhaps Richie McDonald (Lonestar) though... The fact is that once faced with a real live temptation, one must be of the mind to not travel that road.

 

Oh and the elevator, the girl (who was the bait) would simply ask if she could have their phone number. Most of the guys said they were just trying to be polite by giving the number. And only one man said that he wasn't currently in a relationship (although of course he was).

 

I don't think that this guy should have gotten the email he did (sent by the girlfriend). But I also think it was wrong for him to respond, let alone send a picture and invite to have a drink sometime. But then it seems neither was very happy or secure in their relationship, so maybe what happened was for the best.

 

And Fritz, sometimes it is fun to be jaded....

[agf23]

why did u have to cheat on her? it IS cheating u know.

 

sometimes when guys get restless coz the romance fizzled out, they start to get itchy,down there, metaphorically speaking. and things get messy.

 

i havent done that to my boyfriend. although i do have a hunch hes cheating on me online.

 

and honest to say, im not happy anymore. everyday is a heartbreak waiting to fall into shreds.

 

he has repeatedly bruised my self esteem but lately im beginning to see im beautiful inside out.

 

 

 

all im trying to say is, dont do unto others what u dont want to be done unto you. who knows

when you really really fall in love, the girl will do the same thing. but thats the difference between you and me.

eye-dee-ow.

[chrissy4534624]

u're a scumbag and she was too good for you anyway, thats what u get for being a pig

[SoleMate]

I'm sorry the couple described here is breaking up - they sounded so perfect for each other! Lies, insults, failure to take responsibility for their actions, lack of respect, suspicion, cheating - where is either of them ever going to find this kind of "soulmate" again?

[DJ Cynzcere]

Well, I do agree what she did may be not the best to things so I understand how you feel about her and the situation. The relationship from the way I see it was fallin apart and you admit yourself things were goin slow to begin with so maybe it was time to break it off. However, what you did wasn't cool either. I know ol' girl was lookin good in the picture probably and I understand you were feelin what seein but don't do those things man! I mean it may not cheating per say but "technically" it sounds like you wanted some action. Yeah, you didn't touch or see the girl and you said you were only playin around but use empathy to make understand of a seemingly "psychotic situation". She did put herself in that position to get hurt, I know but lets say she or any girl that you were with was using that date site and she put up a post with a reply from another guy (not you) and she responded the way you did, how would you feel? If she said to this guy "You are so fine, lets have a drink someday, I love to meet you", would that stab your heart or kill your self-esteem too? She saw your true colors man and also you saw hers in the relationship. Her posting is not very mature (but she is very clever because she did catch you) but it is not psychotic. If she follows behind you everywhere you go, drive past your house all the time, or does any obsessive things like that then that is psychotic. She knew how things were going and she felt insecure (which is natural, not saying everybody would done what she done though) which prompted her to do what she did. I mean what you did I think is common because you know it is internet and people get on dating sites all the time but what I'm sayin is treat people the way you wanted to be treated that is all. They might be another chance (if you want another one) or it may not, who knows? But if you get back with her or another girl, you know what to do.

[mirinda]

I think it is normal for both parties involved in a relationship to constantly test the loyalty and depth of love of the other party. It can range from asking a simple favor, up to extremes such as your case.

 

Passing such tests is the green light to elevate the relationship to the next level.

[Phelly]

Even though this thread appears to be 2 months old well I just wanted to mention that the football season ends in january and doesn't start again until september so i was kinda like whaaa?

 

but anyway lol

I think that if you have to test your SO in this way, it is a stand-alone indicator that the relationship is going to hell anyway. Eye is (or was?)only angry because he got caught off guard. This relationship should have ended long before it actually did. Sounded like a gigantic waste of time to me.