Memphis Raines Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 again, its not so much her past, but rather the fact that she reminisces about it with her friends and likes to talk about her escapades with fondness. If a past is to stay in the past, then it needs to start with the person that has that past. Otherwise she needs to stop talking it up with her girlfriends. Its disrespectful to a current committed partner. If she isn't going to leave it in the past, how can we expect the OP to as well? Link to post Share on other sites
John Michael Kane Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 again, its not so much her past, but rather the fact that she reminisces about it with her friends and likes to talk about her escapades with fondness. If a past is to stay in the past, then it needs to start with the person that has that past. Otherwise she needs to stop talking it up with her girlfriends. Its disrespectful to a current committed partner. If she isn't going to leave it in the past, how can we expect the OP to as well? Thirty to forty partners? That's a lot of you-know-what. Link to post Share on other sites
whammy Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 Nope sorry I will continue to find an almost pure woman. I won't settle for disrespectful tramps. good luck, it will be a lifelong quest and you will come up empty handed. Link to post Share on other sites
OldOnTheInside Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 good luck, it will be a lifelong quest and you will come up empty handed. I told you to stop using your crystal ball to spy into people's futures. Link to post Share on other sites
John Michael Kane Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 good luck, it will be a lifelong quest and you will come up empty handed. No it won't. And while it may take a while it sure is better than staying with tramps, and coming up empty handed with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Memphis Raines Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Thirty to forty partners? That's a lot of you-know-what. true, it would tend to bother me, but again, not as much as her need to talk about her sexcapades with past guys with her friends, whether it be 30 partners, or 3. Link to post Share on other sites
Memphis Raines Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I gotta disagree with this. Yes the reminiscing is bad but its really hard to date a girl who has banged that many guys and not have it bother you. thats why I said its "not so much her past". the past still is an indicator of the person. Link to post Share on other sites
Mortonski Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 (edited) Yeah man I am going through the same sh*t. Cept my girl has only done it with 9 other guys before me all within 3yrs. Thing that get's me is how she went about getting involved with them. One guy, other then me, she actually loved and he f*cked her up emotionally I guess. So while at college she ended up doing everything the wrong way to start a relationship. Started having sex before dating and all that. two guys were one night stands. One was because she needed attention after the douche bag she loved crushed her and the other was a drunken experience and she never really liked the guy like that. Also, out of the nine she was with, she only dated four. That doesn't really bother me cause they actually dated after the experience of sex together before hand. Well... one does a little because he broke her in with a threesome with another chick and only dated her for a month after before telling her they were better off as friends. Yet, the other ones are what are a major issue with me. For one they were all older then her and I even. The oldest 28 now I believe. Note that I am 22 and she is 21 turning 22. To me it's f*cked up because I feel that they were old enough to realize before hand that they would never work out and yet they continued to f*ck with her anyways. Another thing that get's to me is that she wrote about two of her experiences from then. Won't lie, I read the stories and I regret it. Cause now it's like I compare myself to them and have that competitive side coming out. I guess I just hate the way she went about about doing things and the people she ended up with before me. I won't lie, I must say I am jealous of her experiences and I guess it gets to me that I may never get the same as her. All because of that one dipsh*t that she loved and the people she hung out with as well never gave it a thought to stop her or at least make her think twice about it. It's like I hate the others from her past more then I do anything. All the guys and the fact they were friends and such. I just freakin' hate her past.That's all I can say and I hate that it can't be changed and that it took her nine-ten guys for her to finally settle with. This is the way I thought and still think a little bit of till this day. Yet,, slowly I am getting over it. Right now I am trying my hardest to just focus on us, yet, it is tough at times knowing she still is friends with two of her past guys, but I am working on it. The thing that helps me lose thought of this is keeping busy doing something. Once your mind is concentrate on something you lose all thoughts about everything else but the task you have in front of you. Also, just think about the experiences that you have had or have with her. It seems like lately my thoughts go onto the fun we had and will have once I return home. Give it time and just stay busy and after a while you will start to lose all thought of it. I know this may be a bunch of bullsh*it to some. Yet, I like to think that it might help cause it is helping me. Edited June 13, 2011 by Mortonski Link to post Share on other sites
Mortonski Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Is it wrong to want to know how good your sexual performance is compared with the past guys that your girl has been with. Only would like to know so if I have to improve on something I can as well as to see where I fall along with them. Just would like to give my girl the full satisfaction that may be craving if not getting it. Link to post Share on other sites
WhisperinnWinds Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Your girlfriend has banged a helluva lot of people. You've only been dating for a few months - who knows what she could've contracted before you. The sex should stop pronto and you should both go get tested. Sex is an important value. I don't think there's anything wrong in preferring to only be with other virgins or others who have slept with a few people tops. Just as I think there's nothing wrong with choosing to accept a partner who has slept with dozens of people. You both obviously feel differently about when to have sex, under what conditions and with whom. That can be an important difference that can cause break-ups. Some people think that sex is very special; and the person who views it as very special is not likely to have that view reinforced by a more promiscuous partner. She is still going on like a little girl about the guys you banged. It's disrespectful to YOU. Those things shouldn't mean anything to her anymore - they're simply part of her past, which should now be done. Like others have said - if she can't put it in the past, how can you? No wonder you feel like just another number. She's still so focused on all of her escapades and not focused on the love and affection she feels for you. You need to have a frank talk with her - and possibly to leave. I don't think my confidence could recover if a partner just wanted to talk endlessly about banging his ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hydroplant Posted June 15, 2011 Author Share Posted June 15, 2011 No she doesn't talk about her past very much, sometimes her friends mention stuff though and it irritates me I've learned not to ask any questions about what she did before me. She's banged all of her guy friends and like yesterday we were hanging out with some friends and there were 3 or 4 guys there she has banged, just makes it hard to not think about stuff that I don't want to think about. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 She goes out a lot and gets really drunk with her friends I think she's a bit of an alcoholic, which is how she met and hooked up with guys, She never wanted a relationship - she told me for the first couple months that she would stick to me (be monogamous) but didn't want anything serious. She just ended up falling for me. I guess I'm her first real boyfriend since she was 18. She has a daughter with a guy who lives in Germany (where she's from) and he was the last and only love she had. She claims to have never cheated and I actually believe her. She doesn't really bring up the stories about slutty stuff she did in the past but her slutty friend does. Her friends all tell me they've never seen her feel so serious about anybody else. She's very open and honest but I can tell it's hard for her to be monogamous. You are heading for a big heart break. At some point this woman's whorish stupidity will overcome whatever love she feels for you. That may be in 1 year or 20. She really won't be happy long term with just one guy. Sounds like she just isn't the type. Sorry. Personally... I say just take this relationship for what it's worth. Nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
pickles4me Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 And you're not entitled to judge her over her past. ummm wat lol? Anyway, I've been in a very similar situation before, was with the girl for 3 years, totally the next door type, but had a past that always made me cringe- and it would come up when friends teased her about it. Simple advice: don't walk, RUN, now! This will only lead to bad things in the future. I realize with any slut relationship there's a certain excitement that comes with such a sexual deviant, be it she's good in bed, or knowing that she's sexually competent and active is fun- trust me, it's not worth it. There are plenty of HOT girls out there who will gladly **** your brains out in a committed relationship, and haven't ridden the cock carousel for too long. Link to post Share on other sites
MoreWaysThan1 Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Been there. Mine was 21 and had slept with 35-40, including a couple of douchebags I went to school with. I regret getting emotionally involved with her...what does that say? If you are involved emotionally, cut it off now no matter how much it hurts and save yourself future pain. If it hasn't gotten to that point and you can manage it...this might be a good opportunity to realize all your fantasies because she will probably do whatever you want. Except that didn't work with mine...I know she had gotten freaky and done some kinky ****, but she wouldn't do that stuff with me...which made me feel about 1000% worse. Cut her from your life immediately. Link to post Share on other sites
rafallus Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Except that didn't work with mine...I know she had gotten freaky and done some kinky ****, but she wouldn't do that stuff with me...which made me feel about 1000% worse. IMO, that's a 100% deal breaker. Link to post Share on other sites
April72 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Oh how I wish I could come to where you are and give you a big hug... because I feel your pain. I am going thru something very similiar... honey take heart... I'm 40. I have a past my boyfriend has a past we have both been divorced. But my now boyfriend after a year and half of dating has decided to air his dirty laundry. And let me just tell you if it can be done he's done it. Now I just feel all weird... like who is he really... like it takes away from me. I'm having a huge issue with it. I thought I had finally found the man I had always searched for.... and now I'm all screwed up in the head. Jealous and having issues getting past it. It's easy to say the past is the past but when the past gets brought up in the present it still strikes jealous feelings if you care about the person. It hurts and it runs deep for us insecure folks. My heart goes out to you I have no advice. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyFlame Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Lots of ignorance. To the thread-starter - I've slept with lots of guys in my past. I still do (when I'm single) and it's nice to know that, among this forum, 'male chauvinistic pig behaviour' is prevalent. When I'm in a relationship I'm 100% faithful; my ex had the same problem that you did. He was always so concerned that he couldn't satisfy me because I'd been with a lot of guys. To be honest, he did satisfy me (he was a beautiful man) but the more insecure he got, the more I got turned off. It got to the point where I didn't even want to have sex with him anymore because I knew he'd be worrying so much about his performance. So my advice to you is just to do what you do and don't worry about how you're doing it or what you're doing. If she's with you, and you say it's not common for her to be in a relationship, then that must mean you're something special, something a lot more special than sex. My ex was extremely special to me and I'd choose that love over sex with nobodies, any day. And to everyone judging people by their past, especially when you don't even know anything about them - you're the reason why the public should never be given an opinion. And you've probably had very little experience with anyone Link to post Share on other sites
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