dying pet and insensitivity

[jennie]

my dog of 13 years has an incurable disease called cushings and he also has chronic heart failure. as of the last two weeks he was put on meds (lysodren) he had a bad reaction from this and is awaiting more test results. the symptoms of cushings is excess urination, hairloss, excess drinking. well my dog took mostly to the excess urination and hairloss. he was peeing in the house and it really smells now. i have shampooed the carpet and took to kenneling my dog when i am not at home. this is leaving him very depressed but what else can i do? so what is the problem? it's my boyfriends attitude toward the whole thing. he is not totally unsympathetic to my dog, but is more worried about our deposit and the smell. mind you, i do not like the smell either, but i did what i could to eliminate the problem, but the uring smell lingers. i feel unsupported by my bf, and have been having second thoughts about our relationship of two years, based only on this response and attitude about my dog. i know his time is nearing and it is killing me inside to know that i will lose my bestfriend of 13 years. but my bf said he'd probably cry as well and he'd miss the little guy too, but right now, when i need some support and all i get is static about the smell what good is he? what can i say to him that may help him understand what i am going through? i have told him already that i never want another dog and we agree on that, we agree it stinks like heck in our apt. he knows how attached i am to my doggie. he was there for me through three deaths in six months time when no one else was. he has helped me through more then i can say. how do i endure his remarks? any help would be helpful....thanx..........jennie

[Paulie]

As a pretty objective person, I can tell you that you are acting totally unreasonable. Who the hell do you care about more, the damn dog, or:

 

1. your boyfriend

 

2. Your Appartment

 

3. Your reputation

 

4. Your dog (he's suffering, and you're letting him suffer only because of your own selfish need to have him around)

 

LET HIM GO-

 

Go down to the vet ASAP, and have him put to sleep.

 

This is not worth losing your dignity, your appartment, or your boyfriend over. This is a pretty obvious necessity. You're going a little crazy here, my friend, which is understandable, especially if you really loved your dog...but for the love of GOD, his time has come

[jennie]

you are obviously as insensitive as my bf. first of all, my dog is not in any distress as of yet, his quality of life is still good, and he is still active, but the disease will eventually take him but not for at least a year or so. i do care about my apt. as i have done what i can to clean it up, and my bf knows this. you have not helped anything, thanx................i will not ever let my dog suffer, ever. i am not selfish at all, when the time comes i will do what i see fit to ease his pain, but some support from my b'f is what i need as my dog gets more then enough love, and support from me.......so thanx for your unkind comments, maybe you are related to my bf.

1. your boyfriend 2. Your Appartment 3. Your reputation 4. Your dog (he's suffering, and you're letting him suffer only because of your own selfish need to have him around) LET HIM GO- Go down to the vet ASAP, and have him put to sleep. This is not worth losing your dignity, your appartment, or your boyfriend over. This is a pretty obvious necessity. You're going a little crazy here, my friend, which is understandable, especially if you really loved your dog...but for the love of GOD, his time has come

[jennie]

tony please help!

1. your boyfriend 2. Your Appartment 3. Your reputation 4. Your dog (he's suffering, and you're letting him suffer only because of your own selfish need to have him around) LET HIM GO- Go down to the vet ASAP, and have him put to sleep. This is not worth losing your dignity, your appartment, or your boyfriend over. This is a pretty obvious necessity. You're going a little crazy here, my friend, which is understandable, especially if you really loved your dog...but for the love of GOD, his time has come

[Nina]

I have two dogs and I understand what you're going through. My family dog died last August and it was very sad. You have to understand that not everyone can deal with a pet or people's terminal or chronic health problems. Your boyfriend may be one of them. He's baffeld by the situation adn doesn't know what to do because he doesn't have the emotional connection you do. Here are some tips for cleaning up old pet stains:

 

1. Locate any invisible odors with a black light. Urine in carpets glows in black light.

 

2. Mix 1 tbsp. neutral detergent (mild, non-alkaline, non-bleaching) into 1 cup warm water.

 

3. Dribble the mixture onto the stain or odor area.

 

4. Blot the area with a clean, dry, white towel.

 

5. Mix 1/3 cup white vinegar with 2/3 cup water.

 

6. Dribble the mixture onto the stain or odor area.

 

7. Blot the area with a clean, dry, white towel.

 

8. Mix 1 tbsp. neutral detergent with 1 cup warm water.

 

9. Again dribble this mixture onto the stain or odor area.

 

10. Blot again with a clean, dry, white towel.

 

11. Dribble clean water onto the area.

 

12. Blot again with a clean, dry, white towel.

 

It's a long process, but it will get rid of the odor and then he can't complain. And neither will your landlord!

 

It's a good idea to keep arm&Hammer pet stain removal stuff on handto clean up accidents immediately. It's a great product adn it helps my house stay nice and clean, even with two dogs!

 

The best way to handle this is take care of teh problem. Then, if there are underlying issues that cause your byfriend to be so critical, you can address those at hand.

[BJ]

This is pretty pathetic...Tony's great for advice, and we're all thankful for his insight here...BUT HE'S NOT A SUPERHERO!...

I think you're being selfish, you need to go get some help, lady!

[jennie (to nina)]

thank you nina, all i wanted was some advise on how to explain how i feel about my dog's situation. all i got was criticism from insensitive bastards, well i can get that at home. i have solved the problem of incontinence by using a kennel for him, it is working. the vet is going to try him on another medication, one that is less effective but less harmful. he is not hurting just sick, he still has life in him, he eats, sleeps, plays, bug's the cat still, but he is sick. his illness is terminal, treatable not curable. yes, i am very sensitive to my dog and his feelings as well,i just wish someone would try to understand mine, that's all i wanted and a way to help my bf understand. i understand the smell, it stinks, the carpet is replaceble if i have to replace it myself i will, a life is not replaceable and these idiots do not understand that, pity there wife or girlfriend is they can even get one or keep one. thank you nina, i will try your solution if any more accidents occur. as of now i do have them cleaned up and the smell is slowly dissipating. thank you, and i pray you'll never have to go through this with your dogs, and if you do, God bless you for caring for our four legged creatures, they are none less then we. they feel, they love, they have emotions, why should they be treated as less then us, i know some people who don't deserve to be treated as humans. thank you!

 

I have two dogs and I understand what you're

going through. My family dog died last August and it was very sad. You have to understand that not everyone can deal with a pet or people's terminal or chronic health problems. Your boyfriend may be one of them. He's baffeld by the situation adn doesn't know what to do because he doesn't have the emotional connection you do. Here are some tips for cleaning up old pet stains: 1. Locate any invisible odors with a black light. Urine in carpets glows in black light.

 

2. Mix 1 tbsp. neutral detergent (mild, non-alkaline, non-bleaching) into 1 cup warm water. 3. Dribble the mixture onto the stain or odor area. 4. Blot the area with a clean, dry, white towel. 5. Mix 1/3 cup white vinegar with 2/3 cup water. 6. Dribble the mixture onto the stain or odor area. 7. Blot the area with a clean, dry, white towel. 8. Mix 1 tbsp. neutral detergent with 1 cup warm water. 9. Again dribble this mixture onto the stain or odor area. 10. Blot again with a clean, dry, white towel.

 

11. Dribble clean water onto the area. 12. Blot again with a clean, dry, white towel.

 

It's a long process, but it will get rid of the odor and then he can't complain. And neither will your landlord! It's a good idea to keep arm&Hammer pet stain removal stuff on handto clean up accidents immediately. It's a great product adn it helps my house stay nice and clean, even with two dogs! The best way to handle this is take care of teh problem. Then, if there are underlying issues that cause your byfriend to be so critical, you can address those at hand.

[jennie (tony, can i have your response? ) please?(]

thank you nina, all i wanted was some advise on how to explain how i feel about my dog's situation. all i got was criticism from insensitive bastards, well i can get that at home. i have solved the problem of incontinence by using a kennel for him, it is working. the vet is going to try him on another medication, one that is less effective but less harmful. he is not hurting just sick, he still has life in him, he eats, sleeps, plays, bug's the cat still, but he is sick. his illness is terminal, treatable not curable. yes, i am very sensitive to my dog and his feelings as well,i just wish someone would try to understand mine, that's all i wanted and a way to help my bf understand. i understand the smell, it stinks, the carpet is replaceble if i have to replace it myself i will, a life is not replaceable and these idiots do not understand that, pity there wife or girlfriend is they can even get one or keep one. thank you nina, i will try your solution if any more accidents occur. as of now i do have them cleaned up and the smell is slowly dissipating. thank you, and i pray you'll never have to go through this with your dogs, and if you do, God bless you for caring for our four legged creatures, they are none less then we. they feel, they love, they have emotions, why should they be treated as less then us, i know some people who don't deserve to be treated as humans. thank you! I have two dogs and I understand what you're

 

[J]

I think that you guys (Nina being the exception) are being really hard on Jennie. The love for a pet can be as strong as that for a child. I wonder if a child became sick whether most of us would just have it "put down", before at least trying medications. Euthanasia should be the last resort, not the first.

Jennie, to address your initial concern, I think that you should sit down with your bf and tell him exactly how you are feeling regarding your dogs illness, and ask him to please be patient. Try not to be too hard on your bf, or to take it all to heart, because in all honesty the smell of dog urine isn't that great is it? I guess you can't blame him for not liking it. Try Nina's advice.

[Taressa]

Nina's solution will work and help with the smell. On top of that, you can try placing small bowls of vinegar around the apartment. It helps absorb odors.

 

I'm so very sorry to hear about your dog. Their love makes the worst of situations seem more bearable, doesn't it.

 

Please don't be too hard on the guys... I made the same assunption at first too re. your dogs suffering. I'm glad we were all wrong.

 

Don't be too hard on your boyfriend; men's practicality helps balance our emotionalism. He understands but he's also concerned about the un-emotional side of the problem too.

 

God bless you and keep you strong.

 

Taressa

my dog of 13 years has an incurable disease called cushings and he also has chronic heart failure. as of the last two weeks he was put on meds (lysodren) he had a bad reaction from this and is awaiting more test results. the symptoms of cushings is excess urination, hairloss, excess drinking. well my dog took mostly to the excess urination and hairloss. he was peeing in the house and it really smells now. i have shampooed the carpet and took to kenneling my dog when i am not at home. this is leaving him very depressed but what else can i do? so what is the problem? it's my boyfriends attitude toward the whole thing. he is not totally unsympathetic to my dog, but is more worried about our deposit and the smell. mind you, i do not like the smell either, but i did what i could to eliminate the problem, but the uring smell lingers. i feel unsupported by my bf, and have been having second thoughts about our relationship of two years, based only on this response and attitude about my dog. i know his time is nearing and it is killing me inside to know that i will lose my bestfriend of 13 years. but my bf said he'd probably cry as well and he'd miss the little guy too, but right now, when i need some support and all i get is static about the smell what good is he? what can i say to him that may help him understand what i am going through? i have told him already that i never want another dog and we agree on that, we agree it stinks like heck in our apt. he knows how attached i am to my doggie. he was there for me through three deaths in six months time when no one else was. he has helped me through more then i can say. how do i endure his remarks? any help would be helpful....thanx..........jennie

[Tony T]

You are learning some important information about your boyfriend...and a lot of other people who post on this forum. Annonymity can bring out the worst in people.

 

Your boyfriend's first loyalty should be to your feelings. He is obviously not mature enough to understand the deep connection a person can have to a pet of longstanding. This may reflect his absense of sensitivity, his callous way of dealing with people and animals in general, or lack of sympathy and empathy, and his selfish concern for his own immediate interests.

 

How you deal with this is a very personal matter.

 

I personally would put my pet in a kennel or other veterinary facility and get it the very best care. Or I would build an outdoor fensed area for it. If that's not possible, borrow the yard of a close friend for such purposes. I would have the carpet and pad taken up and the concrete floor resealed and the entire floor recarpeted. I don't think it's a good idea to allow an animal in your pet's condition to continue urinating freely in a home or apartment for a protracted persion of time.

 

Regardless of the practical way of handling your animal, the imminent death of a pet is crushing and as difficult and sometimes worse than the death of a human. With the exception of our parents, loving pets are our only other source of unconditional love on the planet. They love us no matter what and they are quickly forgiving no matter how we may treat or neglect them at times. Some guide the blind, some help save the lives of police by taking a bullet for them or by assisting them in investigations, many protect their owners' property from thieves...they are of tremendous service to us in so many ways and ask very little in return.

 

I can't say the same for your boyfriend. When you need his support and concern, he doesn't seem to be there for you. Maybe he will come back in his next life as a dog...or maybe he will come back as a tree and the dogs will piss on him.

[jennie (tony, can i have your response? ) please?(]

just to clarify the kennel i have him in is a house kennel, i'd never put him somewhere away from him, that would be hard on him. thank you tony, your post shows your maturity as opposed to the morons who were so immature and put me through alot of emotional upset that i dont need at this time, they are ruthless and harsh and for no reason that i could find. i love my b'f, my dog but i wanted some support from him too. he is pretty callous with most of his dealings except where his grandma is concerned. i don't know if it is just to be macho or if he thinks he is being strong. but thank you for your kindness and your words of concern and for understanding what a pet can mean to someone. it means alot to me that someone does as did nina and bj. thank you ! God bless

You are learning some important information about your boyfriend...and a lot of other people who post on this forum. Annonymity can bring out the worst in people. Your boyfriend's first loyalty should be to your feelings. He is obviously not mature enough to understand the deep connection a person can have to a pet of longstanding. This may reflect his absense of sensitivity, his callous way of dealing with people and animals in general, or lack of sympathy and empathy, and his selfish concern for his own immediate interests. How you deal with this is a very personal matter. I personally would put my pet in a kennel or other veterinary facility and get it the very best care. Or I would build an outdoor fensed area for it. If that's not possible, borrow the yard of a close friend for such purposes. I would have the carpet and pad taken up and the concrete floor resealed and the entire floor recarpeted. I don't think it's a good idea to allow an animal in your pet's condition to continue urinating freely in a home or apartment for a protracted persion of time. Regardless of the practical way of handling your animal, the imminent death of a pet is crushing and as difficult and sometimes worse than the death of a human. With the exception of our parents, loving pets are our only other source of unconditional love on the planet. They love us no matter what and they are quickly forgiving no matter how we may treat or neglect them at times. Some guide the blind, some help save the lives of police by taking a bullet for them or by assisting them in investigations, many protect their owners' property from thieves...they are of tremendous service to us in so many ways and ask very little in return. I can't say the same for your boyfriend. When you need his support and concern, he doesn't seem to be there for you. Maybe he will come back in his next life as a dog...or maybe he will come back as a tree and the dogs will piss on him.