SuperMatt Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 So, I like having Girls as friends as well. I have a girlfriend and I love her a lot, but why is it hard to find girls who don't find it weird to be friends with a guy who has a gf? Is there a hidden trick to not make them go away? Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 If they went away because you have a gf they aren’t worth being friends with. The same goes for guys who would do this. I personally don’t believe it would be right to go out for a beer, movie, meal etc. with a girl the same way you would with a guy friend. Too much like a date. I mean unless that’s the type of relationship you want. Do you want your gf to have guy “friends” she goes out with and hangs out at their places with alone with out you? I do have friends that are girls who are part of other couples we are friends with. I also have friends who are girls but its different then my guy friends. More boundaries like spending alone time. I mean other then exceptions like business when it truly is business and things like that essential to life. Link to post Share on other sites
DreamerGirl27 Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I personally find it weird when a guy has a lot of opposite sex friends. I would also be uncomfortable as his girlfriend if he did. Saying that, I like a guy who's just like that. It's just...when you're exclusive, you probably shouldn't be spending a lot of exclusive time with other girls that aren't your girlfriend. and...if that's the case, then why just talk to them? If you're actually their friend, then you should be able to hang out with them like you would any other friend. Guys and girls as friends, is just a whole different playing field than girl/girl friendships and vice versa. I can call my girlfriends on the phone anytime I want. The guy that I like, while he says we're "just friends" he also can't call me, because I'm not his girlfriend. That's not really a friend then, is it? Link to post Share on other sites
TheLawmaker Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I personally find it weird when a guy has a lot of opposite sex friends. I would also be uncomfortable as his girlfriend if he did. Saying that, I like a guy who's just like that. It's just...when you're exclusive, you probably shouldn't be spending a lot of exclusive time with other girls that aren't your girlfriend. and...if that's the case, then why just talk to them? If you're actually their friend, then you should be able to hang out with them like you would any other friend. Guys and girls as friends, is just a whole different playing field than girl/girl friendships and vice versa. I can call my girlfriends on the phone anytime I want. The guy that I like, while he says we're "just friends" he also can't call me, because I'm not his girlfriend. That's not really a friend then, is it? I actually see it differently. Most of my female friends are just like my guy friends, but they have breasts. I don't notice, though; I like talking to them and spending time with them. If a girl told me I had to drop all my female friendships, because she's jealous, that would be a huge red flag. And I would drop her as a girlfriend. That is just a sign of obsessive controlling behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I have no problems with friends of the opposite sex. I have several male friends who will continue to be my friends regardless of my relationship status, and I apply the same principle to a partner. Link to post Share on other sites
DreamerGirl27 Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I actually see it differently. Most of my female friends are just like my guy friends, but they have breasts. I don't notice, though; I like talking to them and spending time with them. If a girl told me I had to drop all my female friendships, because she's jealous, that would be a huge red flag. And I would drop her as a girlfriend. That is just a sign of obsessive controlling behavior. It's the fact that you know they have breasts that would concern me. I want to be the only girl in your life, period. Link to post Share on other sites
DreamerGirl27 Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I actually see it differently. Most of my female friends are just like my guy friends, but they have breasts. I don't notice, though; I like talking to them and spending time with them. If a girl told me I had to drop all my female friendships, because she's jealous, that would be a huge red flag. And I would drop her as a girlfriend. That is just a sign of obsessive controlling behavior. May I ask you what's your logic behind thinking it's controlling? You do realize it's a good thing if she's that concerned with you having opposite sex friends. Because it makes her jealous and she wants you all to herself. I also happen to be the type that finds women and men very different from each other and every male I've talked to, including the guy friend I have that I like, do not have the best intentions of having many opposite sex friends. It's either because they want a girlfriend, or because they want to get laid. It's never just for the sake of having friends. Now, I don't expect to find any guy with 0 friends that are girls, just like I wouldn't expect to find any girls with 0 friends that are guys. But the bottom line is still the same. I have guy friends because I want a boyfriend and most guys I know are the same way. It's just that, once I find one (a boyfriend), I would hope I wouldn't be spending hours online every night talking to them and hanging out with them on a regular basis alone. There's gotta be boundaries. So, again...why is it controlling? Because she loves you so much she can't stand to have your attention be taken away from her by another girl? Yeah...real controlling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperMatt Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 Thanks for the comments I think a lot of what people said is true. But I agree I don't want a jealous gf who doesnt allow me to hang out with friends that are girls. I think it depends on the trust and bond of the relationship. But the real reason I like having girls as friends is that some of them are good to talk with about relationship stuff. Just to get the point of view from the other side. I guess thats what I like about having female friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Thanks for the comments I think a lot of what people said is true. But I agree I don't want a jealous gf who doesnt allow me to hang out with friends that are girls. I think it depends on the trust and bond of the relationship. But the real reason I like having girls as friends is that some of them are good to talk with about relationship stuff. Just to get the point of view from the other side. I guess thats what I like about having female friends. The last thing you want to do in a relationship is go to another girl “friend” to complain or get advice from about your real girlfriend. How would you like it if your gf had a random guy in her life she was getting relationship advice from? (a guy she was sharing details and problems in your relationship with) Link to post Share on other sites
DreamerGirl27 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 The last thing you want to do in a relationship is go to another girl “friend” to complain or get advice from about your real girlfriend. How would you like it if your gf had a random guy in her life she was getting relationship advice from? (a guy she was sharing details and problems in your relationship with) This^ Exactly. Link to post Share on other sites
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