Exit Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 (edited) WAIT! Don't take the thread title harshly or as an insult. I'm saying it with a smile. Damn, does anyone else step back from their heartbreak situation and think "wow I'm sick of even listening to myself". That's what I'm going through right now and I kinda wanted to share that all with you. How much can we all type about what happened to us, how much can we torture ourselves, how much can we obsess and act like there is nothing else going on in our lives or in the world right now. My poor family and friends, I have talked their ears off about the same stuff over and over, all because my ex can't do the talking for herself like an adult and let me know what the heck is going on. I challenge anyone who is up to it, shut up and have some fun this weekend. Key words to avoid: breakup, no contact, rebound, depressed, hopeless, love, miss, advice, future, past, text, email, call, ex, girlfriend, boyfriend. Go enjoy yourself and don't tell me there's absolutely nothing you can do. Call friends or family. Or do something yourself like go take pictures or watch a movie. And if you're gonna keep insisting that there's nothing you can do, then go volunteer at an animal shelter or something. Take a vacation from all this madness. It'll all still be here for you when you're done, you can go back to making yourself feel like garbage on Monday. (Just kidding, hopefully you won't). Listen to Andrew W.K. and I dare you to stay in a bad mood. No, I'm not at all saying I actually like his music lol, but I came across his stuff on my friend's Ipod tonight and realized I should force myself to listen to this upbeat stuff. It's like being forcefed happiness even when you want to be depressed. Dance around like an idiot to stupid music for a while. You need a break from the crappy chemicals that all this depression has released into our bodies. Have fun, be an attractive person, not a mope. Hell, I even signed up for a free dating site and just said on my profile that I'm just looking for someone to hang out with and enjoy summer with and not necessarily anything serious right now, and getting messages from girls is nice. The challenge has been issued. Accept it or keep on moping around. Edited June 4, 2011 by Exit Link to post Share on other sites
Karala Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 lol, you cracked me up ^^ It's great that you're in that place :] I don't think I'll go with you because things are very fresh for me (it's only been 3 days since I said good-bye to the one I love more than anything) and I'm allowing myself a bit more time to indulge... Even wallow in it a little bit, lol, so that when I get sick of wallowing, I really know I've done it 100% and I'm really beginning to get bored with my own misery... kinda where you seem to be at now :] Enjoy your week-end :] Link to post Share on other sites
victoriaaa Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 i will try my best to do so! will try and not mention the ex for 1 whole evening! Link to post Share on other sites
TroyNJ Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 I think this is a great idea, im tired of listening to myself even! Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 Just fake it till you make it. You'd be amazed at what a weekend detox can do for your outlook on Monday. Link to post Share on other sites
giuliano-3 Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 (edited) Well played, sir. I'll accept this worthy challenge. Last night caught myself giving the story to someone for the first time in a while. 30 seconds in I thought about how sick it is to tell this story to people, so I stopped and just finished by saying "she really f'ed me over, thats all." You have your Andrew WK, I've got my Traveling Wilburys - both upbeat and very much about making the most positive possible day today instead of tomorrow or yesterday. Hadn't listened in a while, it totally changed my perspective on the day ahead. Dylan, Petty, Orbison, Harrison. These guys know/knew about heartbreak and how to move on... I will not mention to anyone anything about the past year's ordeal with the ex. Not today, not tomorrow. Its a beautiful day outside and my dog and I want to be part of it. Edited June 4, 2011 by giuliano-3 Link to post Share on other sites
starmar Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 I also accept your challenge Every morning when I wake up the memory hits me like a ton of bricks. And every morning I have to talk myself out of feeling like that. I read somewhere that our thoughts determine how we feel. There must be some delay in that system. A lot of us here can rationalize what happened with our minds even though we still feel hurt and are in pain. We just have to wait for our hearts to catch up to our minds and enjoy life..starting with this weekend. I'm not going to talk about it anymore. (except for on here...I like the thread "post here instead of contacting your ex"...very therapeutic) Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 this is such a good post. thanks op. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Exit Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 It's great that you're in that place :] I don't think I'll go with you because things are very fresh for me (it's only been 3 days since I said good-bye to the one I love more than anything) That's no problem. I was going to say, the only people exempt from the challenge are those who literally just got hit with their problems in the last few days. But for those of us who have been here for a while drowning in all the negativity -- those are the ones I wanted to challenge. I also accept your challenge Every morning when I wake up the memory hits me like a ton of bricks. And every morning I have to talk myself out of feeling like that. I understand completely. Despite issuing this challenge myself and going to bed feeling alright, I woke up this morning and went through the usual immediate panic attack upon remembering that I'm single, my heart starts pounding before I can even sit up and get out of bed. Morning really is the hardest but it's up to us to fight those feelings and cheer up within a few minutes instead of letting the entire day go down that road. this is such a good post. thanks op. You're welcome. Well I'd say I'm succeeding fairly well at this challenge so far. Friday night I was out with a friend, driving around, checking out girls, acting like my old self (totally goofy). As I mentioned a few lines above, waking up on Saturday morning I did have my usual panic attack about things but I did my best to stop it. I actually did end up seeing my ex for a few minutes today. Does that disqualify me? The important part is that I'm not in the position where seeing my ex sends me off in a huge depression, running home to jump in bed and cry. I met her, we sat outside as a thunderstorm rolled in, and then I let her go get ready for the rest of her weekend plans. After that I went to visit family, watched some TV with them and got dinner. Afterwards I did some work on my dads car, he had asked me a while ago to check something out for him and I kept putting it off. I figured doing someone a favor would help me feel better. It felt great to be out on the driveway focusing on my work and keeping busy for a bit. And I figured out the problem and let him know what he needs to replace. Now I'm finally back at my own place for the first time since waking up today. A few friends are out bowling right now and that isn't quite my cup of tea but I'm thinking of going just to hang out and force myself out of my comfort zone a bit. If I decide not to go, I may just go for a little drive by myself because it is gorgeous outside, I thought all along a solitary drive would be too depressing, and I do miss her in the passenger seat, but I still enjoy it when I'm by myself. There's good music on the radio on weekend nights. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but so far this has been the best weekend I've had in a while. Yes, I used many of my "key words to avoid" in this post, but I didn't do it in the context and blabbing someone's ear off about my heartache. Keep it up guys. We deserve to have some fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Sassygirl2 Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Thanks Exit! This is a great idea! I'm sick of "thinking" about the ex and since I have this whole weekend to myself I made a plan to enjoy it with friends and take some time to do things for myself. Link to post Share on other sites
reimeivn Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I had a great weekend! I went to another state, and went to the mountains, walked on the side of the river, feed baby deers, and did not even charge my phone. I spent time with myself. I know I dont have a bf, or a job, and I am skinny. So what, I love myself. What did you do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Exit Posted June 6, 2011 Author Share Posted June 6, 2011 I had a great weekend! I went to another state, and went to the mountains, walked on the side of the river, feed baby deers, and did not even charge my phone. That is awesome! I was starting to make plans to go to a state park this summer when my breakup happened, and I've had a few fleeting thoughts of just going through with it on my own if she never ends up coming back around. Well I posted my first half of the weekend above. Last night I was considering going out with friends but I went to relax for a few minutes first and ended up sleeping through the night. No biggie. Went back to my parent's house today. Ate some food and then watched some TV. I still have some of my old workout equipment there and I thought screw it, I was supposed to be getting back on the fitness kick this week but I let it slip away from me for a few days, so I basically made up every workout I skipped this week by hitting the bodyparts that I had skipped. Working out felt good and I know I gotta keep this up and start being happier with how I look because that is a huge key towards loving myself and creating my own happiness, I know I am not happy with how I look and that's why it's easier to have someone else to love me and make me feel like it's ok. But I'm not that easy on myself, so now that I'm single, I gotta work on it. After that I ended up having to chop up some big pieces of a tree that we had kept since last summer when a tree fell in a storm. They were these huge chunks from down towards the base of the tree, at least 2 feet across. We thought we could make seats out of them or something but decided we'd just break them up for firewood. So I was out there with a chisel and a big sledgehammer from my automotive tools just taking out all my misery on this log for about a full hour. There's nothing like physical activity to get some anxiety out of your system. So after all that at least I should be pretty exhausted tonight. The one negative for today was that when I saw my ex on Saturday she did say she'd be in touch and text me today and I got nothing from her, so that got in my head a little bit, but either she'll tell me she ended up falling asleep or I'll find out that it was on purpose lol. But, despite minor brief contact with the ex, this weekend was a success, and I think it will carry on, I feel better and my confidence is bouncing back. I will still miss her and think about her but I'm getting to the point where I at least know that I can carry on and probably can find better. Link to post Share on other sites
reimeivn Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 You dont miss her, you just miss having the significant person there sharing with you all that you enjoy. And she is not your significant person. So no big deal. Keep doing all that, I am impressed Link to post Share on other sites
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