BeyondLimits Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Our 6 year anniversary is coming up next weekend and it always seems we get in fights around then and also Valentine's Day...kind of an omen I think:( Anyway aside from her issues and inability to be satisfied,when we fight some revealing things are usually said. She's real good with the guilt too boy lemme tell ya^ She'll usually say things like I'm using her for things like sex,which then actually makes me feel guilty when we do have sex thus making me more withdrawn from her which contributes further to issues. I can see how marriage can eventually lead to a vortex of eventual self-destruction^ Link to post Share on other sites
OldOnTheInside Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 It is one of those things where it really depends on the couple involved. Some people handle issues better than others obviously. Small problems in a marriage can often snowball. Too many unresolved snowballs, and the marriage collapses. I actually read your older posts suggesting that your wife is an ephebophile. That seems like the biggest issue with her here. How are things going? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BeyondLimits Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 It seems the pedophile thing no longer exists at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
OldOnTheInside Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 It seems the pedophile thing no longer exists at the moment. It exists-it is just hidden behind a mask. I don't know what anyone else can really say. If you have done what you can to try and make the marriage work and nothing positive has come out of it, well, you have to throw in the towel sometime. 40 year old women reading Twilight...you sure got a prize. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BeyondLimits Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 40 year old women reading Twilight...you sure got a prize. Right now that's the least of the problems...besides I'm told there are leagues of them over 40,which is kinda scary in itself; Link to post Share on other sites
crazycatlady Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 (edited) Right now that's the least of the problems...besides I'm told there are leagues of them over 40,which is kinda scary in itself; There are tons and tons of women of various ages who read the series. I attempted to read it because all my friends kept going on and on how good it was. I managed the first two and half the third before I just gave up. I wanted to kill the main character within the first chapter I think and it didn't improve from there. Anyway... I haven't read the previous posts, I might go looking....however I have to comment on the feeling used for sex bit....that tends to happen when the woman is feeling a connection. So why isn't she? Valentine's day, anniversaries both for some women (and probably the type to read Twilight and get all fluttery over it) is a big deal...and when their expectations are let down - and for some, you can't win - they get hurt which leads to more fights. Going back to look for earlier posts. Egads....ummm...did she stop acting like a fool and a perv around her boy and his friends? And why did you stay after all of that? Edited June 5, 2011 by crazycatlady Link to post Share on other sites
Author BeyondLimits Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 I haven't read the previous posts, I might go looking....however I have to comment on the feeling used for sex bit....that tends to happen when the woman is feeling a connection. So why isn't she? Valentine's day, anniversaries both for some women (and probably the type to read Twilight and get all fluttery over it) is a big deal...and when their expectations are let down - and for some, you can't win - they get hurt which leads to more fights. Going back to look for earlier posts. Egads....ummm...did she stop acting like a fool and a perv around her boy and his friends? And why did you stay after all of that? My friend always warned me that women who read romance novels tend to be disappointed more that life isn't really like that...as for staying I don't know,feels like a big magnet keeps me here^ Link to post Share on other sites
crazycatlady Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 My friend always warned me that women who read romance novels tend to be disappointed more that life isn't really like that...as for staying I don't know,feels like a big magnet keeps me here^ I don't know about that. I think that its possible for there to be problems, just as there is the possibility to be problems from porn. Neither in and of themselves cause the problems, but rather the people reading them and taking it as real life cause the problems. I've been reading romance novels since I was in 5th grade and I never thought it would be like that. And if it truly was the case I think you would see even more divorces then you do now because romance novels are extremely popular. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BeyondLimits Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 And if it truly was the case I think you would see even more divorces then you do now because romance novels are extremely popular. Well the rate is around 50%; Link to post Share on other sites
OldOnTheInside Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 If I may ask BL, what do you specifically want and expect out of your marriage? How realistic do you think your desires are? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BeyondLimits Posted June 6, 2011 Author Share Posted June 6, 2011 At first I didn't expect anything because I never planned on getting married,but now I just want a normal average relationship which probably won't happen because we're really not the normal average people to begin with; Link to post Share on other sites
russt Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 My friend always warned me that women who read romance novels tend to be disappointed more that life isn't really like that...as for staying I don't know,feels like a big magnet keeps me here^ WOW!!!!! That is the first time, I've read somebody else say out loud my thoughts too. My wife has always been interested in the Victorian Era. Years ago she was interested in the readings, books, some of that transpired into her personal tastes, decorating, she sews, so pretty things she would sew. But now, she only buys or sews victorian patterns, reading victorian romance novels, victorian dvds, records victorian movies on the dvr, decorates the house, furniture with it, and even a victorian dictionary that emphasizes "proper" wording in conversing. It frigging makes me sick, it's too stuffy, and I'm sorry but that time period is gone. Sure interested in it, like it, go for it, but I'm not wearing a top hot, vest, frock, gloves and a walking stick to pretend I'm interested in your romantic era gone by. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BeyondLimits Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 WOW!!!!! That is the first time, I've read somebody else say out loud my thoughts too. My wife has always been interested in the Victorian Era. Years ago she was interested in the readings, books, some of that transpired into her personal tastes, decorating, she sews, so pretty things she would sew. But now, she only buys or sews victorian patterns, reading victorian romance novels, victorian dvds, records victorian movies on the dvr, decorates the house, furniture with it, and even a victorian dictionary that emphasizes "proper" wording in conversing. It frigging makes me sick, it's too stuffy, and I'm sorry but that time period is gone. Sure interested in it, like it, go for it, but I'm not wearing a top hot, vest, frock, gloves and a walking stick to pretend I'm interested in your romantic era gone by. Maybe that's why mine also is interested in the 40s also...; Link to post Share on other sites
jonmark Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 There is a subpersonality within each person that has a self-destruct theme. This is not unnatural because it can be found all over the animal kingdom. A scorpion surrounded by flames will sting itself in the back and kill itself rather than be burned to death. Human beings will do likewise in their own way if they sense that the alternative to dying at their own hands is much more painful. Humans readily choose death for political reasons, for principles, for values, or to save the lives of others. In most people, this perfectly natural self-destruct subpersonality sleeps unless extreme conditions call it forth to influence events. In people with control problems, the self-destructive personality has garnered this subpersonality for its own twisted purposes. - Link to post Share on other sites
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