Is this a Game

[DJILLUSION]

Well I need advise here and i hope you will help. If any of you remember about 3 months ago i was a wreck after me and my ex broke up! We Where together 5 years and have a 2 year old son together. There was a no contact order put into place back then and i only seen my son once in a 4 moth period. Well about a month ago she came to where I live to pick up the rest of her things, I told her this would be much easier if we could just some how work things out. She told me just cuz im taking my things doesn't mean we cant work this out then told me she loved me. So i ran into her about a day or 2 later and she wanted to see me. I did and she was all over me like she was back in the good days. Hugs kisses and affection. I then proseeded to see her when i could in the days to follow. The no contact is now dropped and we can spend time together . Yet I cant get answers to important things like what she feels for me. I get I dont know to almost every question i ask her. She trys to change the subject when i ask things i would like to know. She was intimate with one guy since our break up which is hard and it has not been to long ago. I feel I maybe a rebound and i feel her heart is not comitted to this. We both made mistakes in the relationship yet to her it was all my fault. I love this women so much and i want this to work but what do I do to reasure her and help her with her feelings. I show her love in all kinds of ways I talk to her about anything. She told me she can talk to me about anything. But i get mixed signals from her on a daily basis. She shows me love but with restrictions. She dont miss me asmuch as I miss her. That she told me. Yet why all this when for 4 months I was nothing to her. Now she wants me a part of her life.

I know for a fact that guy she was with used her. And i know she is the type to just want to be with someone. Please any ideas on what to do here would be helpful. Do i back off and let her run free or do I continue to show her I love her and want this to work! Thanks a Bunch

[HokeyReligions]

Thats a tough situation. No matter how much you love someone, you can't force them to love you back. She sounds like she is really confused too.

 

You might want to back off on the intimacy and romance and just be friendly with her and spend time with your child. She may not know how to tell you that she does not want a relationship with you, or she may be so confused that she's afraid to leave her comfort zone.

 

You said yourself that she is the type to just want to be with someone and she is comfortable with you. She may not even be thinking of your feelings and how devastating it will be if you devote yourself to her again and she leaves you when she finds someone else to be with. I know that sounds harsh, but sometimes love is pretty harsh.

 

Back off for a while and if she questions why, tell her its because you don't want to get so involved until you both are confident of where the relationship is headed and you are giving her time to figure out how she feels about you so that she can answer your questions. You don't have to be mean about it, but be firm.