DSM2709 Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 I am having a really hard time of letting go of certain situations, especially past relationships. My ex visited me tonight at my place and we had pizza and watched the NHL playoffs together (Which was her idea). It was really nice to see her, we had good conversation, a few laughs and even talked about her recent trip to TN. We broke up almost a year ago but we still remain friends. Now I realize that this to most people would seem like a waste of time even seeing her, but I can't help it. I miss her so much. She has told me on numerous occasions that she has no problem hanging out with me as long as I am fine with the fact that we do so as "Friends". I said I had no problem with it, but am I? So, tonight after we watched the game, she left and as I walked her to her car, I gave her a hug and asked if I could kiss her goodnight, to which she said "NO, your such a pusher, always pushing". Meaning, I am always trying to take it too far, instead of just being a "Friend". She texted me when she arrived home safe and sound and said thanks for the pizza and goodnight. I said "OK, goodnight". Now I know I should just leave it alone and move on, but why am I having such a difficult time with letting her go? I miss her and us, she knows it and will not budge, but I will tell you that she is a control freak and seems very cold and heartless at times, but it's who she is. Which in turn lead to our demise in our relationship last year. So what are some good tips on letting go of her or should I still remain friends with her and just say hello every once and a while? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 From what you've said, I honestly believe you should tell her the way you feel. If you are not 100 percent sure you are ok just being a friend to her, then you probably shouldn't be. It sounds like a very unequal relationship, and that isn't going to be good for you. Hard as it is, just tell her how you feel. You can't control how she reacts, but if it isn't favorably then you will have a much clearer sense of what your relationship with her is really all about, and hopefully you will be able to move on. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Rose T Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 I think she knows how you feel, but I also think that this friendship isn't benefitting you much... it's probably making it harder for you to move on. Hate to say it, but I would try and avoid these situations as you want to be more than a friend and I don't think she wants the same thing. You've been broken up a year now... I know you don't want to hear this, but I think you should step right back. Use no contact even. Or you will be left hanging and if she starts seeing someone else, this "friendship" you have will dissolve pretty fast. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DSM2709 Posted June 6, 2011 Author Share Posted June 6, 2011 Well I think have taken the first step in letting my ex go today. I have taken her number out of my phone and I do not remember it because she recently changed it. I will not email her either, it's just not worth it anymore. I truly feel sorry for her and I must look at this whole experience as a win for me and a loss for her. Link to post Share on other sites
reimeivn Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 You just need some more time NC. When you have a gf that you are crazy about, yes you can hang out with her AND SOME OTHER PEOPLE. that is my advice. you love her still, that is very beautiful. The ugly thing is she knows she hurts you but she still do it. She knows it. So nothing to worry about. You did not kick a puppy. You did something that you learned from. Thats all. Link to post Share on other sites
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