I need to see her again

[giuliano-3]

So I broke NC a couple weeks ago and that was a definite mistake. Things were on my terms and I f'ed that up pretty good as now I'm waiting/hoping for some response back from the letter I wrote. Hadn't even felt the urge to sneak a peek at her FB in a month, but I did just that yesterday and feel pretty weak about it. Those of you who've read my stuff probably saw that coming.

 

Now all I feel is the need (not urge) to see her one last time. Not even to talk/hang out or anything. Just to see her. Make eye contact then look away and walk off. The last time I saw her was dropping her off at the airport for the trip that broke us up. Over a year ago now. This is so sick. We live over 1,000 miles apart now so I'd have to fly up to her city (a very large city at that) and try to find her. This is just crazy sick stuff. I'm back to square one all over again.

 

Aaaaargh! There is a girl I want to ask out soooo bad, but can't pull the trigger until I resolve these feelings. I think about this new girl all the time, but inevitably my ex creeps into my thoughts at the same time. It sucks, it wouldn't be fair to this new girl to start dating when I still have feelings for my ex. If we got into a serious relationship and my ex contacted me again I don't know what I'd do.

 

So (I know the answer I'll get but I'll ask anyway) is there any possibility that trying to seek out the ex would give me closure? I'm going up to her city in a few months to visit my dad anyway so...heck I know its a stupid idea. My gut tells me its the only way I'll get over her, but my gut has been notoriously wrong before regarding my ex. And I'm not talking about stalking her, or maybe I am - but in a harmless way. I hate myself right now, hate that she still has such control over my life. Hate her stupid LDR that she's in with a fancypants rich guy. SOS!!!!!!!!!!! I'm slipping back into negative town.

[Nohbody]

There are too many 'ifs'. If she tries to contact you in the future, but you are in a stable and happy long term relationship one can hope you will have the moral courage to do the right thing (whatever that may be). Seeking her out is probably a mistake to put it lightly - your focus is still very much on her and what she is doing. You need to redirect that back to yourself - especially if you want to try asking this girl out (and the sooner you do the less likely it will be that someone else will beat you to the punch). It's been a year. It's time to move on. Good luck.

[Billie The Puppet]

So I broke NC a couple weeks ago and that was a definite mistake. Things were on my terms and I f'ed that up pretty good as now I'm waiting/hoping for some response back from the letter I wrote. Hadn't even felt the urge to sneak a peek at her FB in a month, but I did just that yesterday and feel pretty weak about it. Those of you who've read my stuff probably saw that coming.

 

Now all I feel is the need (not urge) to see her one last time. Not even to talk/hang out or anything. Just to see her. Make eye contact then look away and walk off. The last time I saw her was dropping her off at the airport for the trip that broke us up. Over a year ago now. This is so sick. We live over 1,000 miles apart now so I'd have to fly up to her city (a very large city at that) and try to find her. This is just crazy sick stuff. I'm back to square one all over again.

 

Aaaaargh! There is a girl I want to ask out soooo bad, but can't pull the trigger until I resolve these feelings. I think about this new girl all the time, but inevitably my ex creeps into my thoughts at the same time. It sucks, it wouldn't be fair to this new girl to start dating when I still have feelings for my ex. If we got into a serious relationship and my ex contacted me again I don't know what I'd do.

 

So (I know the answer I'll get but I'll ask anyway) is there any possibility that trying to seek out the ex would give me closure? I'm going up to her city in a few months to visit my dad anyway so...heck I know its a stupid idea. My gut tells me its the only way I'll get over her, but my gut has been notoriously wrong before regarding my ex. And I'm not talking about stalking her, or maybe I am - but in a harmless way. I hate myself right now, hate that she still has such control over my life. Hate her stupid LDR that she's in with a fancypants rich guy. SOS!!!!!!!!!!! I'm slipping back into negative town.

 

This is not a need this is a want. A need is oxygen, food, water etc, you need those to live.

 

On top of that what this thread really is is you want her to see you as much as you want to see her (live). The deep roots behind this is you are hoping that a physical meeting would cause her to rethink the break up. We all want closure but the really closure is this. She left, wasn't willing to work things out, is not with you. What other things need closing? How about the fact you broke NC and are still waiting for a response? Is this not closure in itself?

 

You are also preventing yourself from moving on by thinking ahead to possible situations like what if my ex contacts me and I am in a future serious relationship?

[giuliano-3]

This is not a need this is a want. A need is oxygen, food, water etc, you need those to live.

 

On top of that what this thread really is is you want her to see you as much as you want to see her (live). The deep roots behind this is you are hoping that a physical meeting would cause her to rethink the break up. We all want closure but the really closure is this. She left, wasn't willing to work things out, is not with you. What other things need closing? How about the fact you broke NC and are still waiting for a response? Is this not closure in itself?

 

You are also preventing yourself from moving on by thinking ahead to possible situations like what if my ex contacts me and I am in a future serious relationship?

 

Heard, one problem is that she did contact me over and over afterwards and that there was never a "break-up." She just disappeared on me and left all her stuff at my place then didn't call or write for 3 months. You're right in that the roots are her rethinking the breakup (which she has said she does via text and email over and over again) but not in the sense that I want her back. Its an ego thing, I guess. My ego was crushed, she stole my Mojo. I want it back, and I want her to realize how doing something like she did has consequences and ripple effects. But deep down I know she knows this.

 

You're also right in that its more about wanting her to see me, (and the big part) to see me walking away from her and shunning her. This is all on me. Its all bogus macho egotistical crapola. Its just frustrating to feel so close at times to getting over it then have it all come back in a flurry. Thanks...I know I don't need it. Its a lusty desire and one which isn't healthy at that.

[Billie The Puppet]

Heard, one problem is that she did contact me over and over afterwards and that there was never a "break-up." She just disappeared on me and left all her stuff at my place then didn't call or write for 3 months. You're right in that the roots are her rethinking the breakup (which she has said she does via text and email over and over again) but not in the sense that I want her back. Its an ego thing, I guess. My ego was crushed, she stole my Mojo. I want it back, and I want her to realize how doing something like she did has consequences and ripple effects. But deep down I know she knows this.

 

You're also right in that its more about wanting her to see me, (and the big part) to see me walking away from her and shunning her. This is all on me. Its all bogus macho egotistical crapola. Its just frustrating to feel so close at times to getting over it then have it all come back in a flurry. Thanks...I know I don't need it. Its a lusty desire and one which isn't healthy at that.

 

When a girl goes cold like that its over. My last day with my ex was completely cold, she even said she didn't want to have me over for her birthday and she just wanted to do a girls thing, 3 Days later I actually got broken up with over the phone.

 

It does suck you didn't get closure in a sense of an actually break up be it face to face or any sorts of confirmation via in text but you do say she is in a new relationship and it in itself is a LDR.

 

Now with this reply about getting MOJO Back this isn't an Austin Powers movie you are empowering her with something so intangible it shouldn't matter. Let it go as much as this isn't easy the day you are finally able to let it go it will make this whole situation easier on you. In a way it seems like you need her permission for you to move on but she didn't need any sorts of validation from you for her to move on. This whole thing about you wanting to see her and then shun her as its roots in revenge truth is you could go through all that act and still not know what she thought or felt about the situation and I almost promise you should you go through with it and get the point it will be you that breaks down. I mean this is all a fantasy and this point or premeditated etc meaning your are putting thought into it which does not follow suit with He who cares less controls the relationship. (This still applies to broken couples in a sense as put it this way she cares less at this point and she has control over you )

 

Take back your mojo for yourself move on and ask this other girl you have interest in out.