Other woman says that she is pregnant

[devastated]

2 weeks ago I discovered that my husband of 9 years had an affair. I know what alot of you are thinking once a cheater always a cheater, but I believe that my husband has suffered with the guilt and the fact that he betrayed me for months and that it is not something that he would do again. Please do not tell me that I am naive in believing this. My husband and I have been together for 12 years and it has not always been perfect we have had our ups and downs just like everyone else. We have 2 children together. The reason that I am posting this is that I am wanting to find someone that has gone through the same situation that I am going through, the woman that he had an affair with is pregnant and she says that the child is my husbands however it is possible that it is not, at the time she was also sleeping with her ex-husband.

 

Dealing with the fact that my husband had an affair is hard enough but the pregnancy is even worse. The woman that he had an affair with says that the baby is due in the beginning of Nov. The thought that I will have to live with the fact that my husband may be having a baby with another woman until then without knowing for sure that the baby is his is absolutely devastating. It consumes my every thought and dream.

 

If there are any others that have gone through this on this forum and have decided to stay with their spouse please share your stories. I feel so alone and am unable to bear this burden on my own.

 

Thank you

[HokeyReligions]

I have not been through anything like what you are going through, but I did want to jump in and tell you that I am glad you are reaching out and I'm sure that others will respond too.

 

I won't (because I can't) judge you or your decisions. I don't know what I would do in the same situation. I do hope that you and your husband are getting counseling to help you through this. I think that is very important. several people have posted a website called <removed> (I don't have the link but you can search for it) and that site has information dedicated to infidelity and also has message boards. You may be able to find some people there who are dealing with all of this -- but read the information that is availabe first.

 

You are not alone.

[Heartbroken Too]

I was home five years ago when the Sheriff showed up to serve my husband papers on proof of paternity! YIKES!

 

While it was the proof that I needed to confirm my suspicions of his infidelity, it was the worst day of my life.

 

You have a while to wait and wonder. The baby must be born first in order to take the DNA swab. My husband, the mother's former husband, and a lover all had to be tested. What a lovely feeling knowing that my husband had been with a woman who had so much unprotected sex. I think that we waited for almost a year. By that time I was pregnant with our second baby and the test results conclusively named my husband. I'm shaking now just writing about it.

 

I ultimately miscarried but went on to have a third. I think a lot about what is going to happen in the future when my husband's first born son comes knocking at the door wanting a relationship. He pays child support but claims that he has not seen his child. The mother desperately wants him to have a relationship but he has resisted.

 

I will finish later.

[devastated]

Thank you for your responses, waiting until the baby is born is excruciating to say the least. I pray constantly that the baby is not his. If it turns out that my husband is the father we plan to file for joint custody due to the fact that the other woman obviously has some issues and we came to find out that she was trying to get pregnant on purpose. She had told my husband that she was on the pill we found out that it was a lie, she is my husbands brother's wife's sister and we have been able to get a lot of additional information as far as who she was sleeping with and when.

 

My sister-in-law took a pregnancy test that I purchased to her house and had her take the test while she was there and it was positive. I was in the car and the other woman did not know that I was there when my sister-in-law came out with the test I was shaking so bad it took me a minute to look at it and when I did my whole world fell apart.

 

I love my my husband and I know that he loves me and I guess that you just have to know us to realize why I have stayed despite the affair I believe in my heart that it is not something that will ever happen again and he knows that if it did he would be gone and I would take him for everything he has. The woman that he had an affair with was warned to stay away from him before all this happened. I knew her intentions and I knew that she wanted my husband and unfortunately that was not enough.

 

She is in for a surprise if she thinks that having a baby with my husband is going to bring him to her. The simple fact of the matter is that if the baby is his it will not be him that she will deal with it will be me ALWAYS. And she is aware of this I have told her that when I confronted her about the affair. I am sincere in my resolve to make sure that she does not get what she is after, and now that my husband has seen first hand what kind of woman she really is lets just say that he is disgusted in not only himself but her as well.

[ThisGirlNameKD]

I don't believe in the "once a cheater, always a cheater" thing. I do believe that people can change, and if you feel that your husband is truly sorry for what he did that he won't do it again, that's good.

 

You seem to already have things in plan if the child IS his, which is a realistic thing to do. Yet, it doesn't ease the hurt and pain. It's alright for you to feel the way you do. This is still fresh to you. Yet, I like the way you are going about things.

[surviving]

Originally posted by devastated

Same situation. Married with two children and the other women had my husbands baby. We have stayed together. We pay child support and have fought and won joint legal and physical custody for the child who is now almost two. It is better this way that she grows up knowing her father, brother and sister. Not to mention her step mommy. We love her. As for her mother, she has a lot to learn. My husband and I are still learning but we are learning it together. It has not been easy but I know I will be a better person for it. Hang in there. Lots of hills, few mountains. You can climb this one too.

[Sohurt]

Add me to the list!

 

 

my husbabd cheated on me during my 1st pregnancy in 99, i didn't know about it until 3 years ago. I forgave him, He swore he would never do it again.

 

here i am today 9 mo pregnant due any day now and last night i find proof and a picture of the woman he is seeing.

 

i dont know if i can even go through labor now.

 

I have been crying non stop for hours now.

 

whats a girl to do?

[littleflowerpot]

Originally posted by devastated

She is in for a surprise if she thinks that having a baby with my husband is going to bring him to her. The simple fact of the matter is that if the baby is his it will not be him that she will deal with it will be me ALWAYS. And she is aware of this I have told her that when I confronted her about the affair. I am sincere in my resolve to make sure that she does not get what she is after, and now that my husband has seen first hand what kind of woman she really is lets just say that he is disgusted in not only himself but her as well.

 

i feel for you and your situation very much and i'm terribly sorry for the pain you are going through but please, if you are going to be the step-mom (is that the term?) to this child if it turns out to be your husband's, please keep in mind two things: 1) the child will love his/her mother and you must be careful never to put the child's mother down or be negative in any way to the mother because the needs of the child are greater than anyone else's needs - the child is the only person involved that cannot make any choices in the matter; 2) you say that the child's father will never deal with the child's mother - i think that is wrong. while i understand why you'd want it this way, i think it is not fair to the child. they have to be involved with each other for the good of the child (the person with the greatest need of protection). they have to make decisions together about the best interests of their child. if you want to interfere with this necessary part of the child's life then you should ask yourself why you want to do that. if you are afraid that the woman will steal back your man, how much faith do you have in him and that your relationship can work? believe me, i do understand you wanting to be sure there will never be contact with him and her again but unfortunately, that is quite unrealistic if there is a child involved. could you perhaps demand that you always be a party to their discussions? i think you could and i think that would be fair. but please please please be fair to the child.

[jmsdmom]

My husband's OW gave birth on the 16th - 2 days ago. I found out when she was 2-3 months along too, and we "celebrated" 10 years in April. I am absolutely devastated, as well. You are definitely not alone. I guess on most days, my wish is that my husband and I could somehow put our marriage back together. Today doesn't happen to be one of those. You will be on an emotional roller coaster for quite some time.

[surviving]

[step mom seems like the correct term. I would not speak badly of the mother in front of my stepdaughter. Thank you for the concern. When she gets older, she'll pass her own judgements- this I do know. F.Y.I-My husband has contact with her mother. He doesn't solely make decisions with her mother. There is, has been, and always will be other people affected by the decisions made concerning my step daughter- namely myself, her sister and her brother. Decisions are now made jointly amongst the family. Unfortunately most decisions made do have impact on other people which most people don't realize until its too late hence for this situation. The bond between a child and their natural parent can be strong and so can a siblings as well as a friends, an Aunts a grandparents and even a stepmoms. I am doing what I feel is the best thing possible for everyone in this situation. Keeping in mind first and foremost the CHILDREN! Thanks for your input.

[mikeswife]

Wooohoo.... I am not alone.... If you got a second...read my post under the other woman category... My husband and I have been married almost 3yrs...he had a one time fling about a month ago with a co worker and now she claims she's preggo... I think she wants my husband and I think she's lying. Too many holes in her story. I havent even seen a legit pregnancy test that I know she has peed on.

 

I have decided to be the strong person here, and stick by my husband during this, and anything else life throws our way. I couldn't picture myself living without him. I've taken all kinds of slack because "I'd have kicked him out" or " He'd have been long gone".... well you know what, NO ONE has been in my situation, and you don't know what you'd do until it happens to you. I consider this a test of our marriage, and one that we will pass TOGETHER. I tell my husband every day that I still love him, and no matter how hurt I am, I will never stop. The guilt that he must live with, knowing every day that he laid down with that whore, and not his wife, is a good punishment. Knowing that he hurt our marriage, and hurt his wife/bestfriend so deeply, that is something he'll have to live with for the rest of his life. I commend women who stand beside their men in situations like these..... we are the innocent bystanders that get dragged into this mess whether we wanted to or not.... and it is us, the strong ones, that need to stand up for that child that may come from this situation. I intend on pursuing custody with my husband if and when the time comes, because in our situation, this woman is a convicted felon, already drinking like a fish knowning that she's (supposedly) pregnant, and still smokes. She claims to be a lesbian ( yeah, OK?!?!) and still lives at home with her parents, who are ready to kick her out. Not gonna lie...it hurts. It hurts like hell. And I never thought it would happen to me. This will be my husband's firstborn child, and that should be something shared between husband and wife, not husband and fling. His mom gets to be a grandma and mine doesnt.... That's Fu**&d up. But Hang in there... you'll be a stronger, better woman for it. And hopefully your marriage will be stronger for it. If you can handle this, you can handle ANYTHING!! Good luck and keep me posted!

[Ms. J]

Dear Devastated,

I'm so sorry for your devastating news. This same thing happened to me a couple of years ago. Same exact situation. It's really crazy to hear someone with the same story. My fiance had an affair with a women many years ago when we first started our relationship. Because of that affair I never felt whole again in my relationship with him, but I never cheated on him, as in slept with another man. About 5 years later I met another man who I was extremely attracted to and I started hanging out with him. The only reason I did this was because my so called fiance was never really (in my opinion) sorry for what he had done to me the first time. He used to always tell me to get over it. Well, later I told him about this other guy. Mind you, though I had been hanging out with this guy a lot because he just made me feel so great I never had a sexual encounter with this man. My fiance and I got into a big argument one day and It came up that I was seeing this other man, well guess what. A few days later while I was out of town on business he goes and sleeps with the same women he cheated on me with before. Several months later (4-5) she comes right to his house while he and I are outside and says "did ***** tell you we are having a son"? I was about ready to die. For months after that we went around in circles, he said he didn't beleive the child was his and we were constantly stalked by this women. He had to call the police every time she came around. We'll low and behold, the baby is his. I don't respect him, I haven't had the same kind of love for him. I even had the nerve to move in with him after this happened. The hardest decision in my life to realize that I hate him. He has not seen the child yet, he will be 2 years old in January 05. The mother is livid. I have gone through a great deal of pain. I am a 34 year old business women with a great head on my shoulders and I feel like 8 years (yes eight) of my life have been totally wasted on this man. And get this. I was assaulted by this women and her sister while grocery shopping. How much more can a woman take. There is a lot more to this story, but all I can say is if the child is his it is going to be very hard to deal with. Just a word of advice, try not to let this consume you. You know what kind of woman you are. How special of a person you are to everyone around you and god. Get yourself a hobby that will help you. I know that you wake up every morning and the first thing on your mind is this baby in her belly. I know that when you look at your children you feel pain to know that there is a child that may be their brother or sister and this child has nothing to do with you. I'm a very sorry. I cannot say if the relationship will work. I have been with him for quite sometime since this happened, but a lot of bad things have happened between us since then. He blames me for his affair with her because I had an affair. In November, when you find out the results if the child is his you really need to do some serious soul searching. You either need to stay and deal with it, or leave. Do not let him encroach on your time ever with this child. If he decides to be a part of this childs life it is not your responsibility nor will it ever be your responsibility to parent this child with him while he has it. It is okay for you to feel hate and jealousy because you have been betrayed. You are not the bad guy and that child is not yours and is not a product of the love of you and your husband. Do not allow him to violate your time and your space with his child. Emphasis on HIS. Take care of yourself and remember do not let this consume you. There is more to life and if you have to let him go you just have to. It will hurt and be embarrassing, but your health and your happiness are much more important. I haven't left yet, but I know I will be leaving soon.

 

Ms. J

[marcus wife]

I guess this happen's alot, my husband and I have been married 5 years and I found out 2 days before my last sone was born that he had an affair with a 20 year old who got pregnant she thought by getting pregnant she could trap my husband in staying with her she told him lots of things, it started because he went to a party and does not drink he got drunk she knew he was married and knew I was pregnant she told my husband if he did not continue to see her she would tell me after already lossing one baby my husband decided to stay in the affair to keep her mouth shut, he cries all the time about how he is sorry he ever hurt me and that he loves me and it had nothing to do about me that I am perfect but do I belive him not so sure,

 

I love him with all my heart and yes as it is so easy to just get up and leave its much harder to stay and work on things, the other girl had her baby and now wants child support, I feel for the child really I do but I dont feel this girl should get any help.she chose to keep this child after my husband told her right from the begging he did not want a child withl her he did not lover her and would never leave me for her, she chose to keep her child we have done the DNA thing but she has not yet. she goes next week I guess,

 

I am really tring to keep my cool I just dont know how. I am really glad there are other people I can talk to about this.

 

please help me too

[Pecan]

Originally posted by marcus wife

I guess this happen's alot, my husband and I have been married 5 years and I found out 2 days before my last sone was born that he had an affair with a 20 year old who got pregnant she thought by getting pregnant she could trap my husband in staying with her she told him lots of things, it started because he went to a party and does not drink he got drunk she knew he was married and knew I was pregnant she told my husband if he did not continue to see her she would tell me after already lossing one baby my husband decided to stay in the affair to keep her mouth shut, he cries all the time about how he is sorry he ever hurt me and that he loves me and it had nothing to do about me that I am perfect but do I belive him not so sure,

 

I love him with all my heart and yes as it is so easy to just get up and leave its much harder to stay and work on things, the other girl had her baby and now wants child support, I feel for the child really I do but I dont feel this girl should get any help.she chose to keep this child after my husband told her right from the begging he did not want a child withl her he did not lover her and would never leave me for her, she chose to keep her child we have done the DNA thing but she has not yet. she goes next week I guess,

 

I am really tring to keep my cool I just dont know how. I am really glad there are other people I can talk to about this.

 

please help me too

 

Count me in I'm in the same boat as well and I just post my message " One nightstand and she is now pregnant from my husband" Please help me too.

[Debster]

Geez, I feel for all of you. That is a horrible situation to be in. I don't know what I would do if I was in that situation.

Part of me feels I would kick the crap out of my husband and the other part of me would want to try and work it out.

I hope that all of you find a decision that works for you and makes you happy.

Good luck.

[Sweetz]

I am just playing devil's advocate here.

 

Have any of the ladies who are in marriages/relationships with cheating men who had a baby with the OW considered divorce or separation from your spouse?

[Guest]

Originally posted by littleflowerpot

1) the child will love his/her mother and you must be careful never to put the child's mother down or be negative in any way to the mother because the needs of the child are greater than anyone else's needs - the child is the only person involved that cannot make any choices in the matter; 2) you say that the child's father will never deal with the child's mother - i think that is wrong. while i understand why you'd want it this way, i think it is not fair to the child. they have to be involved with each other for the good of the child (the person with the greatest need of protection).

 

Good in theory, doesn't always work.

 

I don't want that other child in my home - but the judge says that he has to spend time with his father. Fine. Take the kid somewhere else. I don't want my kids around him either. He wants them to get to know each other. The other kid asks about his daddy's "other" family. Too damn bad. My kids know that their daddy did something horrible and they know the pain it caused to all of us. We live under the same roof for financial reasons and because his children need a father, and we get along just fine, but the kids know that there is no real love lost between us. He knows that if he leaves or trys to go to the OW I will take everything he has. He knows he got off light with his "indiscretion" as he calls it.

 

I did not want OW to deal with anyone but me either - nope, sorry. I'm not the parent of their child and have no say-so legally. The father must deal with her Fine, but I want to know everything that is said and every decision made because these things effect me and my kids.

 

It's too bad that they have a kid who is caught in their crossfire. I'm not angry at that kid, but mine come first. I had my kids and they need a father in their life and just because he is too stupid to keep his fly zipped does not mean my kids have to suffer. She knew he was married when she screwed him. Sins of the parents are visited on the children. Well, I'm trying to protect my kids from them -- you need to protect your kids too.

 

Our arrangement was that I would stay home and raise the kids. He would work. I don't have a career. I don't have the education that he has. I have a high school degree and no work experience other than clerking in a store. I can't make as much money as he does. He is going to be here until our youngest is 18 and then he is going to support me for the rest of my life, unless I marry again and I have that in a contract. He wanted to save the marriage and was so apologetic at first and we went to counseling and I said I was maybe getting 'over' the affair and he wanted to know what he could do and I said 'go to an attorney with me and draw up a contract so that I know me and the kids will always be taken care of' and we did that. Then I told him 'no' I'm really not over it and then we found out about the OW's baby. Back to the attorney to update the agreement about spousal support vs. child support for the OWs baby and now we live quietly and look like a happy family. But that other kid is never, ever, going to come to our house. Too bad they live in a dinky apartment in a not-so-great part of town, but that's where he sewed his seeds. He gives them enough money to take care of the kid and has a college fund set up, but its small and my kids come first and their college funds will be complete long before the other kid.

 

See an attorney. If you can make a go of the marriage -- good for you. If you can't, be civil with each other for your kids sake. Don't worry about the other kid -- that's their problem and you only need concern yourself with it if it negatively impacts your child.

 

Good luck.

[Pecan]

Originally posted by Guest

Good in theory, doesn't always work.

 

I don't want that other child in my home - but the judge says that he has to spend time with his father. Fine. Take the kid somewhere else. I don't want my kids around him either. He wants them to get to know each other. The other kid asks about his daddy's "other" family. Too damn bad. My kids know that their daddy did something horrible and they know the pain it caused to all of us. We live under the same roof for financial reasons and because his children need a father, and we get along just fine, but the kids know that there is no real love lost between us. He knows that if he leaves or trys to go to the OW I will take everything he has. He knows he got off light with his "indiscretion" as he calls it.

 

I did not want OW to deal with anyone but me either - nope, sorry. I'm not the parent of their child and have no say-so legally. The father must deal with her Fine, but I want to know everything that is said and every decision made because these things effect me and my kids.

 

It's too bad that they have a kid who is caught in their crossfire. I'm not angry at that kid, but mine come first. I had my kids and they need a father in their life and just because he is too stupid to keep his fly zipped does not mean my kids have to suffer. She knew he was married when she screwed him. Sins of the parents are visited on the children. Well, I'm trying to protect my kids from them -- you need to protect your kids too.

 

Our arrangement was that I would stay home and raise the kids. He would work. I don't have a career. I don't have the education that he has. I have a high school degree and no work experience other than clerking in a store. I can't make as much money as he does. He is going to be here until our youngest is 18 and then he is going to support me for the rest of my life, unless I marry again and I have that in a contract. He wanted to save the marriage and was so apologetic at first and we went to counseling and I said I was maybe getting 'over' the affair and he wanted to know what he could do and I said 'go to an attorney with me and draw up a contract so that I know me and the kids will always be taken care of' and we did that. Then I told him 'no' I'm really not over it and then we found out about the OW's baby. Back to the attorney to update the agreement about spousal support vs. child support for the OWs baby and now we live quietly and look like a happy family. But that other kid is never, ever, going to come to our house. Too bad they live in a dinky apartment in a not-so-great part of town, but that's where he sewed his seeds. He gives them enough money to take care of the kid and has a college fund set up, but its small and my kids come first and their college funds will be complete long before the other kid.

 

See an attorney. If you can make a go of the marriage -- good for you. If you can't, be civil with each other for your kids sake. Don't worry about the other kid -- that's their problem and you only need concern yourself with it if it negatively impacts your child.

 

Good luck.

Like I said the same thing happen to me and I know its not the child fault but I can not and will not let that child in my house or around my child because I'm very angry at the act that took place for that child to be here. I KNOW ITS NOT THE CHILD FAULT. However, someone is going to suffer because of the action that took place and it will not be my child and I.

[moimeme]

'Guest'

 

That child is just a little kid - an innocent victim. Kids deserve all the love they can get no matter how horrid their parents may have been. You are being miserably heartless and cruel to an innocent child. Your attitude is hateful, vile, and malicious.

 

I don't have a career. I don't have the education that he has. I have a high school degree and no work experience other than clerking in a store.

 

Well get your lazy self out and educate yourself and make your own way in the world.

 

Pecan

I know its not the child fault but I can not and will not let that child in my house or around my child because I'm very angry at the act that took place for that child to be here. I KNOW ITS NOT THE CHILD FAULT. However, someone is going to suffer because of the action that took place and it will not be my child and I.

 

Same goes for you, Pecan. It's completely unfair and horrid to make that child pay - and if you are a religious person, it's a sin to boot.

 

Those children will be in your lives for the rest of your lives - you want them to grow up bitter, filled with hate and come back and murder you someday, treat them with this kind of contempt. Or you could choose to try to be better than your philandering spouses and show these children some love and kindness.

 

I wish I hadn't read this thread. I feel as though I've been dragged into a ditch of manure. How grown 'adults' can be so hateful and disgusting to little innocent kids is completely beyond me. It's beyond reprehensible.

[shygurl]

Originally posted by moimeme

'Guest'

 

That child is just a little kid - an innocent victim. Kids deserve all the love they can get no matter how horrid their parents may have been. You are being miserably heartless and cruel to an innocent child. Your attitude is hateful, vile, and malicious.

 

 

 

Well get your lazy self out and educate yourself and make your own way in the world.

 

Pecan

 

 

Same goes for you, Pecan. It's completely unfair and horrid to make that child pay - and if you are a religious person, it's a sin to boot.

 

Those children will be in your lives for the rest of your lives - you want them to grow up bitter, filled with hate and come back and murder you someday, treat them with this kind of contempt. Or you could choose to try to be better than your philandering spouses and show these children some love and kindness.

 

I wish I hadn't read this thread. I feel as though I've been dragged into a ditch of manure. How grown 'adults' can be so hateful and disgusting to little innocent kids is completely beyond me. It's beyond reprehensible.

 

While I can't even begin to understand the pain and hurt and devastation a wife would go through, to find out her husband has knocked up his mistress/fling and a child came out of the sordid drama - but I think it's really very sad and unhealthy for these wives here, to be so bitter toward these poor little children who were brought into this world through no fault of their own.

 

To "Guest" - I don't understand how you can be a mother but have such contempt for this child. You're simply going to teach your own children to hate, to never forgive, to never "take the high road", that it's okay to be angry and spiteful. Whether you want to face it, this child is your childrens' "half-sibling".........they are related by the blood of your husband - and they deserve to know this child, just as this child deserves to know them. Your contempt is only going to teach your own children to hate their half-sibling and that's just not right.

 

Hopefully one day your heart will be less hard and you'll come to the realization that this child is not the enemy - this child is just the product of 2 very stupid, careless, selfish, deceitful, untrustworthy slobs who weren't even smart enough to use birth control.

 

How do you expect your husband to be an important and vital part of this child's life if the child is never allowed in your home? Do you want your husband to be over at his ex-lover's home spend lots of time with the child there? I can't see that you would - so then how is he going to see his child and own up to his responsibilities?

[StillHurtin]

I am so sorry. I don't know what to tell you and I haven't read all your replies. I know partly what you are going through b/c my H of 13 years had an A 2 years ago during our separation/D (we are back 2gether). Even though the A was the hardest thing I went through I am thankful that the OW never got pregnant b/c they didn't use BC. The OW had a tubal done after her last child. I still had test done for STD's which came out neg, TGoodness. I don't know what I would have done if my H got the OW pg. I don't think I could of took him back. Having to deal w/ the OW b/c of their baby would be hard. GL! I wish you the best.

[VirginiaBob]

I'm usually a proponent of always trying to save the marriage, but damn! Divorce him and talk half his stuff, alimony, and child support - this is very rare for me to say because most of the time thier is a lot of injustice against men in family court, but it this case, I condone raping him in court.

[Marshbear]

This post is over a year old. It was started in Apr 2004.

Probably time to stop giving advice as the baby is born now.

[guest]

'Guest'

 

That child is just a little kid - an innocent victim. Kids deserve all the love they can get no matter how horrid their parents may have been. You are being miserably heartless and cruel to an innocent child. Your attitude is hateful, vile, and malicious.

 

 

 

I don't have a career. I don't have the education that he has. I have a high school degree and no work experience other than clerking in a store.

 

 

 

Well get your lazy self out and educate yourself and make your own way in the world.

 

I am NOT lazy and I am NOT being cruel to any child. I do NOT have to allow another person's child in my home and I do NOT have to love another person's child. You may equate a piece of paper and a college vocabulary to smarts - but that is not true. That was a pretty stupid comment to make on your part. You want that kid - you take it in. I don't clean up others peoples messes, but I am sure as hell going to take care of my own.

 

Pecan

 

I know its not the child fault but I can not and will not let that child in my house or around my child because I'm very angry at the act that took place for that child to be here. I KNOW ITS NOT THE CHILD FAULT. However, someone is going to suffer because of the action that took place and it will not be my child and I.

 

Same goes for you, Pecan. It's completely unfair and horrid to make that child pay - and if you are a religious person, it's a sin to boot.

 

 

Those children will be in your lives for the rest of your lives - you want them to grow up bitter, filled with hate and come back and murder you someday, treat them with this kind of contempt. Or you could choose to try to be better than your philandering spouses and show these children some love and kindness.

 

Those kids don't have to be in our lives. We didn't want them and they are not ours. Its not hate its taking care of ones own. I don't want my kids to be around them either and how stupid to say that the kid will come murder us. Maybe in your narrow little world you only know how to raize pious kids or murdours kids but believe it or not, there is a middle ground for the rest of the owrld.

 

I wish I hadn't read this thread. I feel as though I've been dragged into a ditch of manure. How grown 'adults' can be so hateful and disgusting to little innocent kids is completely beyond me. It's beyond reprehensible.

 

I didn't do anything to that other kid. I've never seen it and I don't want to. The other lady may not have either. whats reprehensible is how some peopel can be so self rightous that htey believe they know more and better than anyone else. arrogance is just a college word for stupidity but some of us recognize it anyway.

 

If this iss what college does to some people then I don't need it - I would rather have some intgrity and morals than a piece of paper that says I can spell and have a bigger vocabulry. do you look down on everyone who doesn't have the same education that you do? you'd be lost if all the rest of us hard working people stopped serving you. no more drive thrus, no cleaners, no clerks, no one to do your dirty work that you are too good for. Smarts doesnt come from a school it comes from a person and its there before anyone slaps a piece of paper down and says heres your degree now you are smart. bt maybe simple honesty is beyond your grasp.

 

I have a contract with the fathe of my babies. I'm holdinghim to that contract. If he makes a contract with his slut then its up to him to to keep that contract too and i DON'T care how he does it as long as it doesn't involve me and mine. these kids never have to meet and if they wantt to when they are adults its up to them then. If some kid somes knocking on my door someday looking for its father I'll give the kid a hone number to call hnim or his work address, but its not coming into my house. My kids will know hwo to handle that if they ever go looking. There is not reason for us toknow anything about that kid.

[shygurl]

You're obviously forgetting that this child you refer to as "it" is actually a half-sibling to the children you have with your skunk of a husband.

 

You seem to have a lot of animosity, hostility and rage - and you're clearly directing it at the result of your husband's infidelity - his child with the 'other woman' - but I'd have to seriously ask why you're not putting the blame where it's due? Toward him? He's the one who screwed around on you, he's the one who was (is) married to you and was supposed to be committed to you and faithful to you (the other woman owed you nothing). Why are you willing to remain with a man who would knock up another woman?

 

By the way, "pious children"? I think you're unfamiliar with what the word pious means.