Other woman says that she is pregnant

[moimeme]

This post is over a year old. It was started in Apr 2004.

Probably time to stop giving advice as the baby is born now.

 

Read the whole thread, dude. There are new posters with new cases.

 

I would rather have some intgrity and morals

 

There is neither integrity nor morality in rejecting a small child because of what his lying father did. It's just spiteful, hateful, and mean to take out your vengeful feelings on a little kid.

 

do you look down on everyone who doesn't have the same education that you do

 

No but I absolutely look down on that sort of meanness and selfishness. It's a little kid. Never did thing one to you.

You have no right to be hateful to that kid. NONE.

[guest]

Originally posted by shygurl

You're obviously forgetting that this child you refer to as "it" is actually a half-sibling to the children you have with your skunk of a husband.

 

You seem to have a lot of animosity, hostility and rage - and you're clearly directing it at the result of your husband's infidelity - his child with the 'other woman' - but I'd have to seriously ask why you're not putting the blame where it's due? Toward him? He's the one who screwed around on you, he's the one who was (is) married to you and was supposed to be committed to you and faithful to you (the other woman owed you nothing). Why are you willing to remain with a man who would knock up another woman?

 

By the way, "pious children"? I think you're unfamiliar with what the word pious means.

 

I'm not doing anything to that kid. I've never seen it and I don't want to -- how is that hurting it? I know the kid shares genes with mine but that doesn't mean diddly sqat. ask an adoptive parent and their adopetd kids abou that.

 

there is aboslutly nothing imoral about rejecting another persons kid. NOTHING! just because it shares genes from my husband doesn't mean I have to embrace it. how is that taking anything out on the kid? you just don't get it.

 

i want nothing to do with his trash whether that trash is the one he chos to screw or their progeny.

 

the reason i stay with him is strictly for financial support. there is nothing I wouldn't do for my kids and ensure that they have what they need including college if that is what thy want todo. that is the sacrifice i make for my kids - living with this man who betraed me. my kids know and will know that he didn't do this to them and him stayhing around and being their daddy is how they will know it. i'm not goingto stay with jhim forever when my kids are grown and out on their own so will I be.

 

maybe instead of saying pious kids i shoujld have said kids who grow up to be self-rightous arrogant people.

[guest]

Originally posted by moimeme

Read the whole thread, dude. There are new posters with new cases.

 

 

 

There is neither integrity nor morality in rejecting a small child because of what his lying father did. It's just spiteful, hateful, and mean to take out your vengeful feelings on a little kid.

 

 

 

No but I absolutely look down on that sort of meanness and selfishness. It's a little kid. Never did thing one to you.

You have no right to be hateful to that kid. NONE.

 

#1: I am not around the kid. I'm not taking anything out on the kid. I'm not taking anything away from the kid unless its a matter of money or time because MY kids come first. period. i don't know why you cant grasp that. its too bad they don't have as much as mine do, but that is not my problem. my husband can work two jobs if he needs to support his two families. that is HIS responsibility. I'm not bringing that child into my house. why should I? I don't owe it anything.

 

#2 if your idea of meanness is to look out for my own kids and put them first then call me mean. maybe you were the illigitimate child of an affair? is that why you think i'm mean? did your father's wife refuse to have anything to do with you? if thats the case then maybe you ought to grow up a little and realize that his wife doesn't owe you anything.

[Iluvsiamese]

As difficult as it might be, no animosity should be directed at a child because of the circumstances of his birth. It has nothing to do with him. No you don't owe him anything, but this means that you don't owe him hatred and the removal of his rights either.

 

If your relationship is over, get a divorce and get on with your life. You will gain some self-respect from this.

 

I divorced my husband of 14 years last year. (Not because he was unfaithful--that would have required too much effort on his part.) I am now a single parent with two kids. I requested nothing from him except support for his children. I walked out of that marriage with way less than I took into it. He actually took some of the furniture that I had when I married him and he demanded that he get some things that people had given me for Christmas gifts etc. (I hope he is enjoying my bread machine, lol.) My attitude is that it's only stuff and I can replace what I need. At the age of 47, I am now retraining to enter the work field so that I can be independant. Scary, yes, but I refuse to be dependant on anybody, least of all my ex as he intends to do the right thing but is not dependable in the remotest sense of the word. No matter what the courts order, if there is no job or money, then you don't get paid. All these guys have to do to nix things is get themselves fired. You are sowing seeds that might produce a very nasty harvest.

[guest]

Originally posted by Iluvsiamese

As difficult as it might be, no animosity should be directed at a child because of the circumstances of his birth. It has nothing to do with him. No you don't owe him anything, but this means that you don't owe him hatred and the removal of his rights either.

 

If your relationship is over, get a divorce and get on with your life. You will gain some self-respect from this.

 

I divorced my husband of 14 years last year. (Not because he was unfaithful--that would have required too much effort on his part.) I am now a single parent with two kids. I requested nothing from him except support for his children. I walked out of that marriage with way less than I took into it. He actually took some of the furniture that I had when I married him and he demanded that he get some things that people had given me for Christmas gifts etc. (I hope he is enjoying my bread machine, lol.) My attitude is that it's only stuff and I can replace what I need. At the age of 47, I am now retraining to enter the work field so that I can be independant. Scary, yes, but I refuse to be dependant on anybody, least of all my ex as he intends to do the right thing but is not dependable in the remotest sense of the word. No matter what the courts order, if there is no job or money, then you don't get paid. All these guys have to do to nix things is get themselves fired. You are sowing seeds that might produce a very nasty harvest.

 

I am not directing any animosity at the kid. I just don't want it around.

 

Explain to me how I am removing its rights? I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!

 

I have plenty of self-respect. I am staying in the marriage for my children's sakes because their father can give them more than I can give them. I want those things for them - they are important. Good for you that you went to school and moved on. All I ever wanted to be was a mom and wife. That doesn't make me any less of a person and I work very hard. My husband has money and he can afford to care for us. Marriage is a contract and one I do not take lightly and nethr does he. He can keeps us in our home and see that the kids have everything they need. He keeps me on his medical insurance because I'm his wife and the kids need me to be healthy. I'm not worried about him not working or trying to get away with anything elsel. If I HAD to I could certainly support and care for my family, but I don't HAVE to - I have a contract for support.

 

 

Pecan, I hope that you are faring well with your situation. I know how much it hurts and how frustarting it is to have holier-than-thou people tell you that you should embrace this other kid. YOU DON'T HAVE TO. Its not your kid and you are not responsible for it and people who have never been parents or gone thru anything like this will never understand that its not about the kid, but what the kid represents. You don't hjave to raise another person's child.