Are you happy?

[reimeivn]

My host mom asked me this question when she first got to know I had a boyfriend: "Are you happy?"

 

I know it hurts that he/she left you. It hurt me so much I drove all the way to Texas. It hurt when I got into a car accident, the first thing I thought when I got hit was: "So what? He left me."

 

But really, I was not happy being his gf. Month after the breakup, I woke up crying until my eyelids were torn. It happened again like it just did yesterday. He was yelling at me in my dream, and I was siting on the floor crying. My heart raced. I said Why do you hurt me so much, he said You are not pretty so I am leaving you.

 

So tell me, were you happy? Search deep into your heart and tell me, were you happy?

 

If they come back to you, and being the same person that left you, because believe me they do not change they just live truly to themselves, and treat you like they would, are you gonna be happy?

 

So please, tell yourself that even if you cry, you cry for yourself, for the love you give, and the hurt you take back, not because of them. Cry because they dont love you, so you are loving yourself back. Cry because you are happy that you are not with them anymore. Cry because you are happy that you do not settle for whatever crumbs they throw you.

 

But because you are going to make yourself happy, not hurt.

[reimeivn]

My host mom died last year because of cancer. She was with the love of her life for almost twenty years PERFECTLY HAPPILY. To the moment she died.

 

So it is supposed to feel like that, just happy.

 

And you will feel that too, when you let go of the one that still hurting you. To find the one that makes you happy.

[Exit]

I was happy with my ex, but she did do things that disappointed me sometimes, she lacks very simple things like saying thank you for a favor or being able to communicate in general. So for the 2nd half of your question, was I happy enough with her that I would literally want to get back together with the exact same person? No, I would want to know that she learned something from this entire process too, because I know I sure did. I feel like I matured 10 years. She did make me happy but I get the point of what you're asking, do I really truly want her back. I guess without some work on her part, no.

[BlindRage]

It's a mixture of feelings. I don't know if I'm happy or sad at this point. I'm more on a neutral set (which falls from happy to whatever, but sometimes I get really sad). My ex cheated on me a lot so to say that I was "happy" with her... I wouldn't know how to answer that question honestly.