missnic Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 Hello, Im currenlty very confused as to what to do, and i just wanted some other peoples opinions:) Ive been with my boyfriend 2 years, im 20 he is 22. I love him. BUT i am still friends with my ex boyfriend. I dated him 3 years ago. Is is not normal to be friends with ur ex? Is it 'not allowed' when u have a boyfriend? My boyfriend has told me that if i want to stay with him I have to cut my exboyfriend out of my life forever. I cannot see him, ring him, talk to him, nothing. And if i loved him i would do this. He tell me i am cheating with 'my pants on' by still having him in my life. I have never cheated on my boyfriend and never would. But i dont see this as normal behaviour. If there is enough trust in your relationship and you love each other, shouldnt you be able to be friends with who you want? Or should you have to choose? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 16, 2004 Share Posted April 16, 2004 Exes are a touchy issue for lots of people. Yes, you can have whatever friends you want, but if being such good friends with an ex bothers your bf, you should explain to your ex that this is the case. With luck, he'll understand. IMHO, if you're such good friends with an ex that you can't stand the thought of cutting off contact, you're too close to that ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 16, 2004 Share Posted April 16, 2004 It would depend on how serious the relationship was. If I was dating a guy who didn't like my ex boyfriend....tough sh*t. BUT..if I loved a guy who was hurt by my relationship with my ex....I would understand. I wouldn't want someone I love having an 'ex' hanging around either. Not because I felt threatened or jealous..but just BECAUSE of. I don't like to share love. What is mine is mine. Link to post Share on other sites
MB Posted April 16, 2004 Share Posted April 16, 2004 If you want to keep this guy around, lose the ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Qicah Posted April 16, 2004 Share Posted April 16, 2004 Been in that situation. Happened to me about two years ago. My ex and I were very close... He would visit me in my boarding house almost every night with his friends who became my friends too and sometimes we would go out . I found a new bf after a year and a half my previous relationship ended. I warned my bf beforehand that my ex and I are still friends but he didn't mind. But my ex continuously visited me despite the fact that I have a new bf. In a couple of months, my bf tolerated this but he told me that he feels so jealous when my ex would visit, call or text me. I understood why he was feeling that way. My fault... I didn't want to hurt him so I talked to my ex about this and he understood well. We still are friends now but not that close. We talk and see less. And I am still with my bf. Missnic, you make your own choice. Do what makes you happy!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Regulus Posted April 16, 2004 Share Posted April 16, 2004 Him telling you to have no contact is a bit extreme. You haven't described the nature of your relationship with you ex.. Keeping in touch every once in a while is no big deal....but if your in contact on a frequent basis and your doing things with him, that's another story and it would bother me... Two years is a long time to be with someone so why is this issue coming up now? Sounds like deeper issues in your relationship at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
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