i wanted him gone and now that he is........

[susie]

well today i got in a fight with my boyfriend about him not listening to me, i told him if he listened to me with half as much interest as he did with sports talk that i'd be happy. he thought i was joking but i wasnt and made a stupid comment. i told him he was a cold, calloused, heartless, inconsiderate bastard and hung up on him. i left him a voice mail a few minutes later and told him that he never tried to understand how i feel, that he is selfish cause when i try to talk to him he don't listen cause he is too busy with work, t.v. reading. or something else on his mind, and no time ever seems to be the right time and that he never communicates back "with me". i then told him that if he left what would be there to miss? that the only thing missing would be a warm body and hugs and kisses, and that i may as well be with a rock for all the attention i get when i try to talk to him. i told him i didn't need him anyway cause him being here is the same as not being here anyway. so i told him i wanted him out. well he asked what was his to take and i told him that he knew it was on our agreement list and to let me know when he would be here cause i didn't want to see him when he came. he then left a voice mail back saying that i wouldn't find a guy like i was looking for anyway, i told him i have known plenty of caring, sensitive men and alot like him as well and the ones like him i didn't associate with after i found out what they were like. he did sound very hurt and i felt bad hearing the hurt in his voice. i told him my daughter and me would spend the night in a moter since i didn't want to see him. not once did he try to talk me out of it, he did say i was crazy tho for thinking all that crap i guess. so he came home before we left anyway and i went and stayed in the bedroom and he had a six pack of beer and he knows i hate his drinking, so i told him to get the beer out of here. later he came in the bedroom and took some things and left,i havent heard from him since, i'm sure he went to the bar then to his moms house. i miss him so much already tho. we have been together for two years, we are in our fourties and have had a pretty good relationsip except this problem and my always hating his drinking, but he did cut back alot on that but it was still always an issue for me. so why didn't he try to stay together? why did he seem to easily give up? he didn't even argue with me. i don't know what to do. one minute i wonder how things went this far and then i think i'm not ready to end this relationship, all though there have been many many times that i had wished it would end, times when i felt unheard, not taken seriously or just like he was here but i didn't know why cause we hardly spoke much but we still did alot of hugging and kissing and always sat by each other and still held hands. i don't know what to do, i feel like i made a mistake but then i feel like i didn't, it all just happened so fast that i am reeling and don't know how to stop it. i miss him alot and even though his things are still here and i know he has to come back for them then we can talk then i don't want to, but if i think it "really" is over then i want him to come home. i have been making myself stay here and not go look for him, cause i don't know what to do. help ! he is basically a good person, except this problem of not hearing and drinking sometimes.........thanx...........susie

[Jeep guy]

I think that you should let him go, drinking is a bad sign. I know the type of guy that he is. Don't go looking for him or anything like that, you deserve better. So I say keeping looking and your hugs and kisses will come back.