Mme. Chaucer Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Ok I saw her last night..talked about old times and we made out in the parking lot. She said she's been thinking about me all this time and what could've been. Needless to say, I'm knee deep in it. Are you having a good time watching people take your bait? Are you posting from beneath a bridge? Link to post Share on other sites
OldOnTheInside Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Are you having a good time watching people take your bait? Are you posting from beneath a bridge? Precisely what I am thinking. If we're dealing with a troll, then he was undeniably effective. If this is a true story...then OP has fallen waaaaaaaaay down the slippery slope. Who is going to give him a hand up now? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Are you having a good time watching people take your bait? Are you posting from beneath a bridge? I doubt this guy is a troll as he's been a member of LS for a while though hasn't posted much recently. Most trolls join and post, make crap up and then leave. NetW, I hope you walk away from this new found friendship with the woman from your past. As you now know, NO good can come of this and innocent people are going to be hurt. your wife, your kids, your family unit as one as you know it now. Link to post Share on other sites
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 I doubt this guy is a troll as he's been a member of LS for a while though hasn't posted much recently. Most trolls join and post, make crap up and then leave. NetW, I hope you walk away from this new found friendship with the woman from your past. As you now know, NO good can come of this and innocent people are going to be hurt. your wife, your kids, your family unit as one as you know it now. ahhhhh who cares about them! Its all about me me me! We all know the typical mindset of a cheater by now. Hopefully for his wifes sake she shacking some dude from her past on facebook too! Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 I doubt this guy is a troll as he's been a member of LS for a while though hasn't posted much recently. Most trolls join and post, make crap up and then leave. I agree, this doesn't fit the usual pattern. There have been, however, a lot of threads with an almost identical theme: Married guy, some woman from the past or a work situation presents temptation; a lot of attention and "support" flows his way, he knows not what to do, he "hopes" that the situation will miraculously just go away ... and then he makes out / has sex / whatever. By this time all the people who have been involved are snapping at him and he's getting defensive. Then "he" disappears. Or, says it was all in the name of research. Could there be 7 or 8 guys who not only would get into such similar quandaries, but who would fashion the same trajectories in their threads? If it's a troll, it's a well known LS participant with a few sock puppets - and an interest in creative writing or filmmaking. And, attention. If I'm wrong (I hope I'm right, for the sake of the "wife" in this story), well ... I hope I'm right, so a person's marriage isn't really getting trashed for such a frivolous and halfassed reason. Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 (edited) It was interesting to see these two posts come consecutively, just 40 minutes apart: Whats so interesting about it? Stone - I never claimed I could absolutely predict the future with 100% certainty, but I did think that given all the setup and all the evidence, it seemed to me that he was putting himself into a high risk situation. On the other hand, he was clearly looking for any excuse to minimize the importance and justify the meeting as "no big deal", and you did that same denial/justification argument right along with him. Yes, if you're particularly stubborn you could still argue that we had no way of knowing for sure in advance, but when the evidence is heavily weighted in a direction that experience has shown is risky, how much sense does it make to close your eyes and say "...but there is still a chance that it could possibly be nothing, so I'm going to base my behavior on that assumption..." ... Show me where I have made a hard and fast denial/justification..... kinda hard to do that when the last time you saw this person was 17 years ago; theres a good chance they may have changed to the point of night/day and text...texts and emails dont tell you ****. Of course theres always a chance that she may have an alterior motive and NO WHERE did I say that could not be the case; re read what i wrote. But you see the difference between my view and yours (as it appears) is that I beleive in the power of the individual to make their own choices; nobody else makes your choices for you.....and you seem to beleive that people have no control over their choices and are slaves to the will and plans of others. Hes going to go meet an old friend at a bar... not a Triad with a Mac-10 What are you going to say: "up to the point where he did something, he had done nothing, so I was absolutely right, up to that point..." Yeah sure, OK, you win... uhhhh noooo If he did something he did something.... and if he didnt he didnt....either way you slice it.. it was HIS choice.....he situation didnt make him do anythingt Edited June 9, 2011 by StoneCold Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 (edited) Hes going to go meet an old friend at a bar... not a Triad with a Mac-10 Time to talk about it in the past tense now, you know... He went to meet an old crush at a bar, for whom he had recently admitted a rekindled romantic interest, and had struggled (without resolution) with the propriety of that interest, and ultimately chose to stray from his marriage. There's no "maybe he will" or "he is going to meet a friend." He went. He strayed. It wasn't with a Mac-10, but he did pull the trigger. It's done. Whats so interesting about it? Just that you said "what does he have to lose if he's done nothing?" as if we should assume that he is still clean with innocent motives, and then 40 minutes later he posts that indeed he's done something, and now he's "knee deep" in it. Actually, my first impulse was to post something like "Oh, you gotta love this", but of course, I was instantly sickened by the idea of celebrating this guy's choice to continue on the course of straying from his marriage, so I posted it as "interesting" instead. As in, it raised my interest. You are not obliged to find it so, and I understand if you don't. But you see the difference between my view and yours (as it appears) is that I beleive in the power of the individual to make their own choices; nobody else makes your choices for you.....and you seem to beleive that people have no control over their choices and are slaves to the will and plans of others. OK, now I know we've butted heads a lot on this thread, but I'll admit that I can see how you might interpret my stance as you have said here. But let me clarify: I not only agree that people make their own choices, but I'll raise you one: I insist they take full responsibility for those choices, even when they are "stupid" ones. Another thing I believe, however, is that people have a significant ability to be dishonest with themselves, and that this feature induces people to lead themselves into those stupid choices they might not otherwise make, if they had a stronger skill at self-awareness and self-honesty. No, I don't believe that "the situation makes them do something." I believe that sometimes they fool themselves through denial and dishonesty, and then make choices that they regret later. But I still think they are 100% responsible for those choices, as I believe this guy is here. Look, this guy was going into a situation that I saw as potentially "risky" - however you want to define that - for him. Part of why I thought that was because I believed he was not being honest with himself about his motivations. Go back and look for the word "honest" in my posts - at how many times I implored him to be honest with himself as to what his real motivations were. I believed - and still do - that he was denying his true (perhaps subconscious?) intentions. And it turns out that "it" happened. No, I don't believe the situation "made him do it" or "caused him to do it," or that it "just happened" as a result of him losing control to some external forces. As a matter of fact, I would have no respect for someone who suggested any of that. What I do believe is that either: (a) he was consciously prepared to push the scenario in this direction all along, and was dishonest with us in this thread, by claiming that he was having some dilemma over the situation, or (b) he was subconsciously prepared to push the scenario in this direction all along, and was being dishonest with himself, in convincing himself that he was entering the situation as an innocent, that they were, and would remain, "just friends". What other scenario is possible? That he was truly an innocent, but once he got on-site, he changed his mind on the spot? That sounds an awful lot like "the situation made him do it" and no, I don't accept that. I believe he entered that bar prepared to push this to the next level all along, but was denying this to himself (or at least to us...) If he did something he did something.... and if he didnt he didnt....either way you slice it.. it was HIS choice.....he situation didnt make him do anythingt I agree. And as I don't think "the situation made him do it", I have to conclude that he was at least prepared to make that choice all along. And that was my point to him in this thread, trying to get him to look at his motivations honestly: I believed his unwillingness to tell his wife, his active choice to keep the "old friend" a secret, was a clear element of his preparation to make the choice to stray. He had everything all lined up, all he needed was to meet her and have her meet some reasonable threshold of his fantasy image of her, and that was the last element he needed to make his choice. All the rest - the "just friends", the "my wife doesn't need to know everything, and she's jealous anyway...", that was all cover so if he chose NOT to stray, he could still live with himself. If he had truly entered that bar as an old friend meeting up for an innocent drink, "the situation" wouldn't have been able to change his mind. He entered the bar that evening with everything all lined up, prepared to stray - I believe he actively prepared for it - and since everything lined up the "right" way, he made his choice. Edited June 9, 2011 by Trimmer Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 (edited) Time to talk about it in the past tense now, you know... He went to meet an old crush at a bar, for whom he had recently admitted a rekindled romantic interest, and had struggled (without resolution) with the propriety of that interest, and ultimately chose to stray from his marriage. There's no "maybe he will" or "he is going to meet a friend." He went. He strayed. It wasn't with a Mac-10, but he did pull the trigger. It's done.. I've just noticed that part as I missed his post....but it doesnt change my stance. I insist they take full responsibility for those choices, even when they are "stupid" ones. .. I've never insisted otherwise Another thing I believe, however, is that people have a significant ability to be dishonest with themselves, and that this feature induces people to lead themselves into those stupid choices they might not otherwise make, if they had a stronger skill at self-awareness and self-honesty... Certainly....that applies to everything...for what is seen as "good" and also what is seen as "bad". But I still think they are 100% responsible for those choices, as I believe this guy is here.... I agree...and maybe hes ok with his decision and all that comes with it....or maybe hes not. It was his call and thats ultimately what my point is. Its his decision what he does. As a result, in a situation like this...going to meet a friend in and of itself is a non issue to me. ...Look, this guy was going into a situation that I saw as potentially "risky" - however you want to define that - for him. Part of why I thought that was because I believed he was not being honest with himself about his motivations. Go back and look for the word "honest" in my posts - at how many times I implored him to be honest with himself as to what his real motivations were. I believed - and still do - that he was denying his true (perhaps subconscious?) intentions. And it turns out that "it" happened. No, I don't believe the situation "made him do it" or "caused him to do it," or that it "just happened" as a result of him losing control to some external forces. As a matter of fact, I would have no respect for someone who suggested any of that.... Him not going to meet her wouldnt mean that he is now honest with himself. Clearly ( as a result of his reportings) it was something he wanted to do and would likely do it one way or the other. All it may likely be as a deferral of the inevitable. ...What I do believe is that either: (a) he was consciously prepared to push the scenario in this direction all along, and was dishonest with us in this thread, by claiming that he was having some dilemma over the situation, or (b) he was subconsciously prepared to push the scenario in this direction all along, and was being dishonest with himself, in convincing himself that he was entering the situation as an innocent, that they were, and would remain, "just friends".... Possibilities... The difference is... people on this thread are saying... "if you go...you will cheat" what I'm saying is.... "if you've decided to cheat or not cheat....you're going to do as you decided one way or the other....so if you want to see your old friend...go see your old friend" Edited June 9, 2011 by StoneCold Link to post Share on other sites
martini-mae Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Hes going to go meet an old friend at a bar... not a Triad with a Mac-10 Yes, he went to the bar to meet an old friend. AND KEPT IT FROM HIS WIFE! Wrong on all counts. Married people should let their spouses know these things. Unless they're keeping it a secret. As someone said if you have nothing to hide - Well Obviously he's got something to hide. On another note - I think he's trolling. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Yes, he went to the bar to meet an old friend. AND KEPT IT FROM HIS WIFE! Wrong on all counts. You forgot to mention the making out part. On another note - I think he's trolling. Yup. It's a tired and boring theme, and I think this sock puppet should explore new territory in "his" creative writing endeavors. Even "Harlequin Romances" have plumbed this one to death. Link to post Share on other sites
2long Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 we made out in the parking lot How fargin' romantic! -ol' 2long Link to post Share on other sites
Maladjusted Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 I think you always knew what you were going to do with this past and now present love interest, it was just a matter of whether it was going to pan out or not. From your posts, it doesn't sound like you are happy in your marriage and/or something is missing from your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Mimolicious Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 How lovely! I hope that WOMEN (period) involved in a "love triangle" are watching how this Prince Charming of MM behaves. This can be your wonderful sweetheart too. SUCH A WINNER! Who the hell would want to go deal with such a chump?????!!!!!!! OP- You are seriously WACK! I hope your W finds out like tomorrow and does the "Lorena Bobbit" on your a$$. You seriously deserve to get dumped and left with nothing. Go live the life of 1994... Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 How lovely! Who the hell would want to go deal with such a chump?????!!!!!!! OP- You are seriously WACK! I hope your W finds out like tomorrow and does the "Lorena Bobbit" on your a$$. You seriously deserve to get dumped and left with nothing. Go live the life of 1994... I think "he" has gone back in "his" time capsule, to resurface again with a similar tale someday soon. Stay tooned. Link to post Share on other sites
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