xxoo Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I don't know if it's a "date". So we kept each others' stuff for 17 years..nothing out of the ordinary here right? (Yes, I am being sarcastic.) Ok maybe she just keeps stuff from her past and has boxes of things from old boyfriends. I'm a bit of a pack rat too! Maybe she is as well? I think it is more meaningful that she told you about the box than that she kept it. She's old enough to know it sends a message. Link to post Share on other sites
Maladjusted Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 all possiblities, I just think its a little pre emptive to call meeting a person you havent seen in 15 years a "date"...it could verywell escalate there but it takes two to do that. I would agree, but considering he is posting this story in the infidelity forum his intentions seem to indicate that to him this is a date. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 A thought, OP. If you really believe this is just a rekindling of an old friendship, why did you post in Infidelity? Link to post Share on other sites
Author networkingman Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 Networkman, on a purely statistical level for fun, what are the chances that your wife would be upset about your hiding this rekindled friendship from her? What are the chances that your wife would be upset that you were having a date in a bar with a rekindled friend and were hiding it from her? Give me a number figure - i.e. there is a 50% chance she will be hurt by the rekindingling; there is a 80% chance she will be furious by lunch., etc.) (These are serious questions; I can't really answer until I think about this.) My wife is the insanely jealous type! I mean..INSANE! This is part of the reason I feel like I can't say anything because she will just come unglued and blow it all way out of proportion. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 My wife is the insanely jealous type! I mean..INSANE! This is part of the reason I feel like I can't say anything because she will just come unglued and blow it all way out of proportion. Ok. You didn't give me a number figure, but I can deal with "insane". "Insanely jealous" tells me that you might not be dealing with a totally practical or rational woman if your wife were to find out. So.... If I looked at all of your assets, and I determined that you and your wife are worth approximately $1,800,000 in real estate, liquid assets, retirement, etc, would you be willing to pay $900,000 lump sum for two gin and tonics? Because that is precisely what you are setting yourself up to do. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 My wife is the insanely jealous type! I mean..INSANE! This is part of the reason I feel like I can't say anything because she will just come unglued and blow it all way out of proportion. But you wouldn't if she came to you with the same story? Link to post Share on other sites
Author networkingman Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 I think it is more meaningful that she told you about the box than that she kept it. She's old enough to know it sends a message. Yes..that's a good point, I thought the same thing. She's 37 years old now, and not 20 anymore so she should know that could be misconstrued way too easily. Plus telling me she thinks it's "Cute" that i am a little nervous to see her again at our age, well seems to send a message too as well I guess. She keeps saying she's SO excited to see me. But heck, it's been 17 years, I think I might be reading too much into this... Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Yes..that's a good point, I thought the same thing. She's 37 years old now, and not 20 anymore so she should know that could be misconstrued way too easily. Plus telling me she thinks it's "Cute" that i am a little nervous to see her again at our age, well seems to send a message too as well I guess. She keeps saying she's SO excited to see me. But heck, it's been 17 years, I think I might be reading too much into this... No, listen to your instincts. You have a recently separated woman in her late 30s, acting immaturely. A 40something married man, already feeling an attraction. Add in an "insanely" jealous wife, doing godknowswhat on facebook. Network, are you looking for drama in your life? Because I think you are walking right into it! Maybe you should google articles on facebook and affairs, because it has become a modern cliche. Who the hell wants to be a cliche? Link to post Share on other sites
Author networkingman Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 But you wouldn't if she came to you with the same story? Sure, I'd be upset but I'm also a pretty calm person. This is where "opposites attract"! lol..I would get upset and after I cool off, take a look at the whole situation, evaluate and hopefully fix it. My wife is absolutely fueled by emotion more so than other ladies. Link to post Share on other sites
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Sure, I'd be upset but I'm also a pretty calm person. This is where "opposites attract"! lol..I would get upset and after I cool off, take a look at the whole situation, evaluate and hopefully fix it. My wife is absolutely fueled by emotion more so than other ladies. Yeah..and maybe being married to you is the reason she is the way she is! Link to post Share on other sites
Author networkingman Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 Ok. You didn't give me a number figure, but I can deal with "insane". "Insanely jealous" tells me that you might not be dealing with a totally practical or rational woman if your wife were to find out. So.... If I looked at all of your assets, and I determined that you and your wife are worth approximately $1,800,000 in real estate, liquid assets, retirement, etc, would you be willing to pay $900,000 lump sum for two gin and tonics? Because that is precisely what you are setting yourself up to do. I hear what you are saying but money is really not all that important to me. I've been broke, and I've seen millions flow through my business. I can rebuild so that's not the main concern here. It's the other drama associated with it. Sometimes I think of us divorced and for some reason it doesn't really bother me all that much. I don't even know why. Sure when I think of my wife and the good times we've had, it breaks my heart, I'm not devoid if emotion. I really don't know what is going on with me. I honestly don't! Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Yeah..and maybe being married to you is the reason she is the way she is! I didn't want to go there.... Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I really don't know what is going on with me. I honestly don't! MLC perhaps. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 What you have now is a receip of a possible affair. You now notice things in your marriage that never bothered you before. You are excited to see this girl from your past, as she is too. You're texting and IM'ing with her, pretty much daily.. You know what is going on in her life as now she may know more about your life and daily routines as well. She is separating from her husband, you see your wife could be doing something behind your back, inappropriate behaviour on facebook ... Please really think about your choices because before you know it, you'll be justifying your actions to do as you please. Link to post Share on other sites
Author networkingman Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 Yeah..and maybe being married to you is the reason she is the way she is! LOL! Your point is well taken! Link to post Share on other sites
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 LOL! Your point is well taken! Hopefully so. I don't see the point in the risk of involving yourself in this situation. If you really think the grass is greener...by all means go do it. Just be a man and let your wife make her own decision if she wants to deal with a husband whose setting up bar meetings with girls from his past who have no respect for his marriage and family! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Do you plan on discussing the facebook situation with your wife and how you don't like it that she's blocked you from her wall? Since your wife is insanely jealous, I assume you're going to lie to her about this new woman who's entered your llife and you meeting this 'friend' at a local bar? Lie/omit truth? I wish you would also take time to read more in this section so you can understand the pain and betrayal of an affair, the loss of love, respect and TRUST. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 OK...so I skipped to the end. Networkingman...so the bottom line is this. 1. Are you still meeting up with 'old flame'? 2. If so...have you informed your wife and asked her to come along? 3. If you're meeting...and haven't informed and invited your wife...why the heck not??? From my perspective...you need to fix your own situation before you even think about calling your wife out. Either cancel the meeting and break off contact with this girl...or tell your wife and invite her along to keep things all above board. THEN consider discussing with your wife opening up ALL communication paths that both of you use...so you can BOTH keep an eye on each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 If you value your marriage, you will not go through with this. You know this is not just a 'friend'. Agreed.. My advice.. go back to your FB profile.. view those pictures of your 3 children and your wife and forget about the past flame.. Defriend her immediately.. she is only looking for comfort and that is comfort you cannot provide her.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author networkingman Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 OK...so I skipped to the end. Networkingman...so the bottom line is this. 1. Are you still meeting up with 'old flame'? 2. If so...have you informed your wife and asked her to come along? 3. If you're meeting...and haven't informed and invited your wife...why the heck not??? From my perspective...you need to fix your own situation before you even think about calling your wife out. Either cancel the meeting and break off contact with this girl...or tell your wife and invite her along to keep things all above board. THEN consider discussing with your wife opening up ALL communication paths that both of you use...so you can BOTH keep an eye on each other. 1. Good news is I am on the fence about this. I am hoping to fall off and not go. I haven't texted or IM'd her and she hasn't tried to contact me as of yet but of course it's only 9:35am here. 2. No 3. Because she's insanely jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
John Michael Kane Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 OK...so I skipped to the end. Networkingman...so the bottom line is this. 1. Are you still meeting up with 'old flame'? 2. If so...have you informed your wife and asked her to come along? 3. If you're meeting...and haven't informed and invited your wife...why the heck not??? From my perspective...you need to fix your own situation before you even think about calling your wife out. Either cancel the meeting and break off contact with this girl...or tell your wife and invite her along to keep things all above board. THEN consider discussing with your wife opening up ALL communication paths that both of you use...so you can BOTH keep an eye on each other. He's already knee-deep in the cow dung. Why would you even suggest to bring his own wife's he's cheating on, to the girl he's having an emotional affair with? Bringing his wife not only adds to the amount of major disrespect he's piled on his marriage, but will probably cause a confrontation between those two women. Link to post Share on other sites
John Michael Kane Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 1. Good news is I am on the fence about this. I am hoping to fall off and not go. You're talking as if you don't know how to control your actions. I haven't texted or IM'd her and she hasn't tried to contact me as of yet but of course it's only 9:35am here. 2. No 3. Because she's insanely jealous. Ever took the time to figure out why she's jealous? I'm sure with the way you're treating her, she probably feels her marriage has gone down the drain too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author networkingman Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 Ever took the time to figure out why she's jealous? I'm sure with the way you're treating her, she probably feels her marriage has gone down the drain too. Well she has always been this way, even when we were just dating. I have constantly, throughout our marriage, done everything in my power to quell this unfounded jealousy. It really can be a problem and yes, I'm sorry, after 15-16 years of doing everything I can to show her how much she is #1 in my life, it's gotten pretty old. Just me venting here... Link to post Share on other sites
John Michael Kane Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Well she has always been this way, even when we were just dating. I have constantly, throughout our marriage, done everything in my power to quell this unfounded jealousy. It really can be a problem and yes, I'm sorry, after 15-16 years of doing everything I can to show her how much she is #1 in my life, it's gotten pretty old. Just me venting here... Well if she's always been that way, how is being an OM to someone's marriage gonna make your domestic problems come to a solution? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Just me venting here... Actually.. to me it doesn't sound as much like venting as it does justification to cheat and hurt your wife and children Link to post Share on other sites
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