Snowflower Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I agree with this too. He picks and chooses what threads to reply and anyone who mentions his wife and giving her the option if she wants to invest her time on him he avoids. I say go...go cheat and when things are so awesome with this tramp and your wife finds out...don't come back here looking for sympathy...cause I bet you no one will even bother replying to your "I screwed up" thread! Uh, I think he is listening. Give him a break. Just because he doesn't respond to each and every post doesn't mean he isn't considering what is written. And he is responding to a lot of the posts, go read the thread again. He can't possibly respond to every single one. If he is flamed so severely that he leaves LS, then what good does that do? Link to post Share on other sites
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Uh, I think he is listening. Give him a break. Just because he doesn't respond to each and every post doesn't mean he isn't considering what is written. And he is responding to a lot of the posts, go read the thread again. He can't possibly respond to every single one. If he is flamed so severely that he leaves LS, then what good does that do? Yeah...he replies to the ones he "wants" to reply to. None that pertain to anything about his wife! Why is that? Oh thats right..cause she's insanely jealous? Give me a break. He's a sleazeball and you know it! Link to post Share on other sites
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 uh oh.... the "justification" argument swings the other way......the sky is falling...what are we to do? Justification for what? For being married to a loser? Seriously..get a grip on yourself. Go start you PRO-AFFAIR thread elsewhere dude! Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 The human ability to learn from others' mistakes. I haven't had to stick my hand in a fire recently, to prove to myself that it's important not to stick my hand in the fire. I haven't had to stand at the edge of a high roof to prove to myself that I can avoid jumping off. Maybe I'm just not macho.... Now thats a BS analogy... you are comparing clear and known risks to ones you dont always see coming. That's a BS analogy. We're talking about the ability to avoid a particular negative situation, not the ability to prove your macho by putting yourself into that situation and withstanding it. So it's more like saying "I'm not going to get in any fights" and avoiding the bully altogether..... Actually no its NOT like saying "I'm not going to get into any fights"... If you read what I posted (clearly you didnt). you would know that I was making an observation of people on this thread. The same people that say they would NEVER cheat are the ones that practice avoiding things. Now if running/avoiding is what you want to do then fine; simply say "I dont cheat because I avoid situations"...done. But dont go around making hard and fast statements about yourself NEVER ever doing something when you've never faced it. Never is a powerful word that simply doesnt apply to most even though they'll tell you it does. Link to post Share on other sites
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Uh, I think he is listening. Give him a break. Just because he doesn't respond to each and every post doesn't mean he isn't considering what is written. And he is responding to a lot of the posts, go read the thread again. He can't possibly respond to every single one. If he is flamed so severely that he leaves LS, then what good does that do? ANd another thing...can't take the heat..get outta the kitchen! Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Justification for what? For being married to a loser? Seriously..get a grip on yourself. Go start you PRO-AFFAIR thread elsewhere dude! Assuming you are part of the.... "nothing justifies cheating" camp..... that would make you such a hippocrite. .....I'm telling you guys with people like Portugese Princess on your side your argument (a potentially valid one) goes right into the sh*tter Link to post Share on other sites
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Assuming you are part of the.... "nothing justifies cheating" camp..... that would make you such a hippocrite. .....I'm telling you guys with people like Portugese Princess on your side your argument (a potentially valid one) goes right into the sh*tter A hypocrite for what? Please do elaborate instead of spewing crap just for the F of spewing! Link to post Share on other sites
Snowflower Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Yeah...he replies to the ones he "wants" to reply to. None that pertain to anything about his wife! Why is that? Oh thats right..cause she's insanely jealous? Give me a break. He's a sleazeball and you know it! Oookkaaayyyy... He has responded to posts from owl and frozensprouts, who represent the same position as his wife...the betrayed, unknowing spouse. Sometimes people respond better when they aren't attacked. Do I find some of his posts painful...YES! I see a very similar thought process to what my H did when he went down that dark path. The justification, the blaming the spouse, the rewriting of certain aspects of the marriage. Some of his posts are painful for me to read...BUT, I don't need to respond with my own pain and bash him. I can try to respond in a way that might make him think about what he is doing...the way I wish someone had taken my H aside and told him the facts right before he started on his affair. If we bash, then he just gets defensive (who wouldn't) and then nothing helps. But, this is a threadjack...sorry, networking. Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 You're suggesting that its ok to lay blame on him for his wife's behaviour.... Funny but I recall many around here on LS saying the exact opposite...but only hen cheating is involved. I'm of the belief that poor behaviour is poor behavoiur. Wh is it ok to blame others in certain situations but not others? and quit being such an angry biatch Link to post Share on other sites
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Oookkaaayyyy... He has responded to posts from owl and frozensprouts, who represent the same position as his wife...the betrayed, unknowing spouse. Sometimes people respond better when they aren't attacked. Do I find some of his posts painful...YES! I see a very similar thought process to what my H did when he went down that dark path. The justification, the blaming the spouse, the rewriting of certain aspects of the marriage. Some of his posts are painful for me to read...BUT, I don't need to respond with my own pain and bash him. I can try to respond in a way that might make him think about what he is doing...the way I wish someone had taken my H aside and told him the facts right before he started on his affair. If we bash, then he just gets defensive (who wouldn't) and then nothing helps. But, this is a threadjack...sorry, networking. I appreciate that snowflower I really do...but I can't pretend ..sorry! In either case I'm done with this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 You're suggesting that its ok to lay blame on him for his wife's behaviour.... Funny but I recall many around here on LS saying the exact opposite...but only hen cheating is involved. I'm of the belief that poor behaviour is poor behavoiur. Wh is it ok to blame others in certain situations but not others? and quit being such an angry biatch Whats so bad about her behaviour? The OP never told us about his wifes behaviour except for shes INSANELY jealous. Maybe theres tons more reasons that he hasnt posted that she feels this way. Maybe if he were to TALK to his wife he would know. Maybe if he texted her..and planned dates with her that he can oh sooooooooo simply do with some divorced ho then maybe she'd feel her marriage was in a better place than having to be jealous....which I doubt in either case. And if anyone sounds like an angry biatch..that would be YOU! Link to post Share on other sites
John Michael Kane Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Oookkaaayyyy... He has responded to posts from owl and frozensprouts, who represent the same position as his wife...the betrayed, unknowing spouse. Sometimes people respond better when they aren't attacked. Do I find some of his posts painful...YES! I see a very similar thought process to what my H did when he went down that dark path. The justification, the blaming the spouse, the rewriting of certain aspects of the marriage. Some of his posts are painful for me to read...BUT, I don't need to respond with my own pain and bash him. I can try to respond in a way that might make him think about what he is doing...the way I wish someone had taken my H aside and told him the facts right before he started on his affair. If we bash, then he just gets defensive (who wouldn't) and then nothing helps. But, this is a threadjack...sorry, networking. He's not getting attacked. This thread is filled with folks who gave him plenty of advice on what to do, yet he refuses and wants to call us attackers. Link to post Share on other sites
Snowflower Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I appreciate that snowflower I really do...but I can't pretend ..sorry! In either case I'm done with this thread. I get it!:)These threads are so difficult to read because you can see the pain and trainwreck a-comin. Brings back some unpleasant memories for some of us here. Hopefully we will have helped networking make the right choice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author networkingman Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 Sorry if I haven't responded to every single post here. I don't mean anything by it. I honestly can't believe this has exploded to almost 10 pages! I'm not ambivalent towards my wife or view it as some sort of business relationship. One poster asked about money, all I said was that IF it came to that, and I am wiped out, I have rebuilt my finances before and could do it again. Some mix money and love, I keep those quite divided in my mind. I still love my wife. I love her very much as she has MANY qualities that I adore. I know many think this meeting will turn into some sort of torrid love affair and we would be driving around trying to find a Motel 6 somewhere. I don't want sex from this girl. Sure, she still seems attractive on her FB pics, but so what? I've seen many pretty faces but that doesn't have to mean I want to "boink" each and every one of them! As we have all said, 1994 was a LONG time ago, and I would go into this only as friends. I can't help if she wants anything more. As a matter of fact, she had her chance in 1994 and well, that's almost 2 decades ago. We've made different choices and have gone down different paths. She has given signals, but you know what? She was like that 17 years ago so I am guessing she's just the same flirty girl. I do want to thank each and every one of you for taking a few minutes to respond to me. I know what each of you are saying and naturally at my age, I know what you say is gospel. This whole thing is strange, and maybe that's exactly why this thread is almost 10 pages long. This is not some ordinary, "Oh, I found some girl on Yahoo IM and we talk all the time now". This is unique, it's like it's from a different time talking about letters and phone calls, no FB, no texting and it has an "old fashioned-ness" to it. Perhaps that's part of the allure? Anyway, I'm just babbling at this point. Thanks again everyone! Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Whats so bad about her behaviour? The OP never told us about his wifes behaviour except for shes INSANELY jealous. INSANE jalousy is down right creepy and highly destructive.... Maybe theres tons more reasons that he hasnt posted that she feels this way. Maybe if he were to TALK to his wife he would know. Maybe if he texted her..and planned dates with her that he can oh sooooooooo simply do with some divorced ho then maybe she'd feel her marriage was in a better place than having to be jealous....which I doubt in either case. Heres an idea.... wait for it....if she has an issue, why doesnt she take responsibility and voice it herself. Its her feelings and opinions...she can take ownership of at least that much. Why is all of this on him? Let me guess...you're one of those girls that think they dont have to do jack and that its up to the guys to jump through hoops for you. lol....just a wild guess but I could be wrong....good luck with that LMAO And if anyone sounds like an angry biatch..that would be YOU! Hey I'm not the one that was blamed for being abrasive and attacking the OP....hmmm I wonder who that was Anyways... no more thread jacking Link to post Share on other sites
martini-mae Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 After reading these 10 pages my opinion is that you're looking for an Old Fashioned Ego Boost. You say you don't want to have a torrid affair with her, yet it appears to me that it's exactly what you're setting yourself up for. Afterall, you did post in the Infidelity Forum. BTW: Omission is still a lie. I saw where someone asked you if it would be ok if your wife did this without saying anything to you. I highly doubt that if the tables were turned you'd be as nonchalant as you sound here. Personally I don't think that married people should do anything that their spouses wouldn't approve of - or - that they themselves wouldn't find appaling if their husband or wife did the same thing. I hope you think long & hard before you go. Because it appears from your posts you are going no matter what the advice is here. Good Luck. I hope you're right in saying that It's Nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Congratulations you’re in an emotional affair with a girl who dumped you because of something you wrote in a letter. When you are with the right girl (like your wife) it really hard to screw up because they forgive you for more, and the same goes for you. As a young man who isn’t that much older then you were when you started you first flirtation with this woman please show me love isn’t dead. Don’t throw away a life with your wife for an EA and soon to be a sexual affair with some women who you never really dated and dumped you quickly. You did wrong when you even added this woman on FB. Really you should honest, not for your wife and family (consider that icing on the cake) but for yourself. For the image you have in yourself. So you don’t lose respect in who you are. This entire situation is just ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
OldOnTheInside Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 This entire thread is just getting (entertainingly) absurd... OP, really think about this next question and give us a straight answer... WHY.DID.YOU.POST.THIS.ON.THE.INFIDELITY.SECTION? Kay? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 People, let's not bash this guy to the point he doesn't come back here! That will not help him or his marriage/wife. Nothing I had said is bashing or rude, or mean. I've given him suggestions and solutions to his current issues, both about this new found 'friend' and the situation with his wife and her hiding her facebook wall from him. Whats so bad about her behaviour? The OP never told us about his wifes behaviour except for shes INSANELY jealous. Well, for starters, why would a wife hide her facebook wall from her husband unless there's stuff on there she doesn't want him reading or knowing about. That is questionable. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Well, for starters, why would a wife hide her facebook wall from her husband unless there's stuff on there she doesn't want him reading or knowing about. That is questionable. People with nothing to hide.... hide nothing. Cheesy line, but soooo true. Link to post Share on other sites
Steen719 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 People with nothing to hide.... hide nothing. Cheesy line, but soooo true. A line that I borrowed from you and put in my ever growing list. Link to post Share on other sites
Steen719 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Sorry if I haven't responded to every single post here. I don't mean anything by it. I honestly can't believe this has exploded to almost 10 pages! I'm not ambivalent towards my wife or view it as some sort of business relationship. One poster asked about money, all I said was that IF it came to that, and I am wiped out, I have rebuilt my finances before and could do it again. Some mix money and love, I keep those quite divided in my mind. I still love my wife. I love her very much as she has MANY qualities that I adore. I know many think this meeting will turn into some sort of torrid love affair and we would be driving around trying to find a Motel 6 somewhere. I don't want sex from this girl. Sure, she still seems attractive on her FB pics, but so what? I've seen many pretty faces but that doesn't have to mean I want to "boink" each and every one of them! As we have all said, 1994 was a LONG time ago, and I would go into this only as friends. I can't help if she wants anything more. As a matter of fact, she had her chance in 1994 and well, that's almost 2 decades ago. We've made different choices and have gone down different paths. She has given signals, but you know what? She was like that 17 years ago so I am guessing she's just the same flirty girl. I do want to thank each and every one of you for taking a few minutes to respond to me. I know what each of you are saying and naturally at my age, I know what you say is gospel. This whole thing is strange, and maybe that's exactly why this thread is almost 10 pages long. This is not some ordinary, "Oh, I found some girl on Yahoo IM and we talk all the time now". This is unique, it's like it's from a different time talking about letters and phone calls, no FB, no texting and it has an "old fashioned-ness" to it. Perhaps that's part of the allure? Anyway, I'm just babbling at this point. Thanks again everyone! Networkingman, If you want to keep your marriage, walk away from this. It is not something that you can live without and you are asking for trouble. Nothing good can come from this for your marriage. Really! Link to post Share on other sites
Snowflower Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Nothing I had said is bashing or rude, or mean. I've given him suggestions and solutions to his current issues, both about this new found 'friend' and the situation with his wife and her hiding her facebook wall from him. You weren't one of the bashers, IMO. Your advice is always well-meaning and logical. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 This entire thread is just getting (entertainingly) absurd... OP, really think about this next question and give us a straight answer... WHY.DID.YOU.POST.THIS.ON.THE.INFIDELITY.SECTION? Kay? I'd like to know as well Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 I'd like to know as well Could be because he sees it can easily be construed as infidelity in the making (this thread clearly points that out). But remember, just because something can be interpretted a certain way doesnt necessarily make it so. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts