TearyEyedPride Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I haven't been at this long, only two true days of no contact so far. I've deleted him as a twitter/fb friend, but not his friends or his little brother. (Honestly, it's not to hold on to him or anything like that... but they were very supportive of us, and we got along fine. One of them helped us out alot so we're cool, and the other is hardly EVER on there.) So today is the second friend's birthday... I'm the fb birthday queen. If i see you have a birthday, i'll definitely say Happy birthday, that's just me lol. So I had a list going down... and I crossed my ex's bestfriend. So... I tried weighing the pros and cons of posting a Happy Birthday... Pros: - I don't feel bad/petty for skipping him - He gets an extra happy birthday wish! - Maybe it won't matter at all and he'll take it as a simple nice gesture and keep it moving. Cons: - The ex thinks I'm being meddling... or feels some type of negative emotion. - He tells my ex that I wished him Happy birthday causing him more uneccessary pain. -It just causes alot of confusion and gets misconstrued. - The friend thinks i'm being petty because I skipped him when I wished everyone else a happy birthday. So as you can see...I'm conflicted. Maybe it's small, but to me it's a little milestone. My gut says just avoid it and don't post it, but the side of me that's optimistic says it really won't be a big deal. Which side do I listen to? Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 go with your gut who cares if the friend sees you're not wishing him a happy birthday as being petty? and if he's a friend, i'm sure he'll understand why it may be awkward for you to do so right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TearyEyedPride Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 Whew! Thanks! I feel better. Small steps... 1 day at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 If the friend is also "your" friend to, wish the boy a happy birthday. Live your life not your ex's Link to post Share on other sites
Author TearyEyedPride Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 Well... see he's my ex's BESTfriend. And I only knew him through my ex. He's cool, but honestly without my ex I wouldn't know him. I think i'm gonna go with my gut on this one this time. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 there are no "mutual" friends. if they were his friends that you met through HIM, then delete them. out of respect, both of you should remove yourselves completely from the other's life. yes, this is a personal issue...that my ex won't delete my friends, and asking my friends to delete her just makes me desperate and psychotic. so my opinion, no, do not contact his friends or wish them "happy birthday". especially since you're asking bc you are hoping he sees it and realizes you've skipped him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TearyEyedPride Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 Uhh... No... I really hope he doesn't realize I skipped him, that's just mean to do. I have no beef with him at all. I just didn't want it to be awkward or misconstrued if I posted it. However, i'll be damned if I don't and even more so if I do. So who knows. I really do hope he has a Happy Birthday though. He's a neat and genuinely nice guy. Link to post Share on other sites
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