vsmini Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I was mortified for a friend of mine who happened to be a bride last year. We've drifted apart (for reasons I won't get into but I'm sure you can guess why later) but I wanted to share this story. We'll call her Betty. Betty and I were co-workers and became pretty good friends. I went to her traditional-type Long Island wedding last year with quite a few other co-workers. Before a bunch of us left for the wedding we decided that we would mail her gift(s) and money cards instead of bringing them as we thought we remembered Betty mention something about no box/gift table. So that was that. We went to the wedding had a great time. Done. Note - i did remember that when the bride was coming around the tables to talk to everyone her sister (MOH) was carrying a large bag - perhaps that was to collect gift cards? The next morning I get a phone call from Betty saying she didn't get a card from me. She wasn't upset but she said she was worried she had misplaced it (?) I said no - that I was mailing it. This was the morning she was to leave on her honeymoon and she was making calls. When I got back to work on monday I found out Betty had called almost all my co-workers asking where their gifts had gone but she had a different excuse for her call for each one. Nice.....way to tally up your earnings the next morning after your wedding. Now I know why we were guests. Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Hmm. Is there any possible benign interpretation that might explain her behavior? Otherwise it does seem...odd. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 She was probably thinking that since so many gifts were not there that someone had walked off with them in all the excitement or she had let it get to her and thought all her coworkers hated her or something. ( Bride Goggles ) Normally people bring the gifts to the ceremony or to the reception if they are going to be present and if they aren't then they mail them. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Nice.....way to tally up your earnings the next morning after your wedding. Now I know why we were guests. To be fair, the cost of inviting an extra guest is usually a lot more than the gains from the present. It might cost $150 to feed, entertain and ply you with champagne, double that if you bring a +1. So your gift is pretty unlikely to cover the cost of you being there. Unless the wedding was paid for by someone else, of course, in which case yes it does seem money-grabbing. Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Learning Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 i have been to 2 weddings in the past where the container holding the gift cards was stolen. once by the dj's assistant and the other by catering staff. i would not say this bride's behaviour was out of line in calling because this is becoming more and more common (gifts being stolen during the reception). Link to post Share on other sites
Author vsmini Posted July 9, 2011 Author Share Posted July 9, 2011 To be fair, the cost of inviting an extra guest is usually a lot more than the gains from the present. It might cost $150 to feed, entertain and ply you with champagne, double that if you bring a +1. So your gift is pretty unlikely to cover the cost of you being there. Unless the wedding was paid for by someone else, of course, in which case yes it does seem money-grabbing. Not my issue if my gift doesn't pay for my "ticket" to their wedding. Can't afford to give me a +1 then don't offer it to me on the invitation. I'm there to be happy for the bride and groom and give what I can. I didn't have a +1 for the wedding either and my cash gift of exactly $150 covered it....I'm sure it did but who knows. It's also not my job as a guest to figure out who paid for it (bride n' groom or parents). Can't afford your own wedding? Counting on guests to pay it for you? Then don't have one. People are gross. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 vsmini, I concur in theory that the "GUESTS" are to be treated highly and without Expectation to FLIP the bill. That is entirely rude. Its like inviting your kids out and then sitting them there with their piggybanks telling them they have to pay for the entire family meal. I've yet to go to a wedding where the GIFT table wasn't "attended" to by a wedding member. Usually the Uncles or Aunts SIT RIGHT beside the table and there is NO way anyone can reach in to the one way box to grab the gift cards. Once dropped in the box it gets locked in. They have them at wedding shops. They look like chapels or Wedding bells, its cute! I follow modern day protocol ...order the items from the gift registry at whichever store they registered and have it shipped to them. I only do CASH when its an acquantaince....50$ in the wedding card and I call it a day. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts