kcahs Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I had what I thought was the most perfect guy on the planet. He was cute, smart, witty, etc. Everything between us was going great. I trusted him 100%. 9 months into our relationship everything turned upside down. He never had money, which didn't bother me. The bottom line is this: The reason he never had a dime was because he was spending all his money at strip clubs getting lapdances! I remember he had asked me once how i felt about lapdances and I told him that I found them appalling. I was so devastated. He told me that he HAD to get them because I was physically unattractive and that he liked Asian breasts. He said he loved me for my personality and that I was too vain to understand that. I was so hurt and to this day every time I think of it just kills me. It's the worst thing anyone has ever said to me. I am physically fit, I take very good care of myself...I exercise every day, ...I always dressed sexy for him, I just don't understand and it kills me. Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Sounds like there is some tension there. This guy obviously has some issues that will require resolution before he can fully commit to a relationship with anyone. Couples counselling might be useful to this end. Link to post Share on other sites
Shadowburn Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Sounds similar to porn addiction. What is "Asian breasts" anyway? Please don't internalize it, his addiction has nothing to do with your attractiveness. Spending all his money on lap dances, how is it different from gambling or binge drinking. I think it would be much better for you to just stay away, the guy has huge issues. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Lap dances? Appalling? Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 He told me that he HAD to get them because I was physically unattractive and that he liked Asian breasts. He said he loved me for my personality and that I was too vain to understand that. Geez, what a f*cking turd. I'm sorry for your pain, but nobody needs that in their life. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 What an oinker. The evident addiction to lap dances is bad, but the way he spoke to you about your level of attractiveness to him - and used this to justify his behavior, and to blame you - really makes him out to be a loser. It will probably take you some time to get over this treatment from a guy who you really liked and thought highly of, but in this case I can assure you: it's really really not you with the problem. It's him. Link to post Share on other sites
victoriaaa Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 kind of similar to the things my ex sometimes said to me. that i was fat (im clearly not in anyone else's view) and it made him sick to have sex with me. just another way of justifying awful behaviour and as a way to destroy self esteem. it does hurt though i know, esp when it was someone whos opinion matters so much. you know its not true deep down Link to post Share on other sites
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