bellababy86 Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 So, BG info.. me and my ex bf have been together going on 5 years. Our relationship has been extremely toxic and a big dramatic mess. We were married for two of those years, got divorced.. and continued the relationship. I was faithful for 4 years until i found out that he was cheating with multiple women, we got divorced.. and then i began seeing other people as revenge, in a way. As far as I know, he's '' changed '' as far as fidelity goes.. he's more open with his phone, just overall less secretive.. as am i but, of course.. the trust is broken.. which causes major arguments and issues. We broke up about 2 months ago. We both began dating other people.. but, he refused to move out because he was living in my apartment rent free and it was convienient for him. I was on birth control pills for most of our relationship. I got off of them when we broke up because I was on them for 7 years and I was a smoker, which isn't a good idea while being on the pill.. plus, i was newly single and planned on using protection with a new partner. He knew that I was no longer on the pill when we hooked up one time during our break up. Long story short, I got pregnant from that one time hook up.. while we were broken up. I went out of town after the hook up.. and when i came back in town, i found out i was pregnant. At first he didn't want anything to do with the pregnancy.. the first day or so. After a few days, we decided that it may be best for us and the unborn child if we try to resolve some issues between us and work it out. He went out and bought me baby books, suggested names, ect. We had a petty argument about the fact that he doesn't help with the bills, and he doesn't want the baby anymore. He's treating me like complete crap. He dissapeared the other night, didn't come home until the next day. Sleeps on the couch, ect.. he says that we're just not going to work out and he thinks I should get an abortion. It would really break my heart to get an abortion but, I don't know what to do.. as I really don't have a strong support system. It's just me and my mother.. and she's on the liver transplant list and I am her only caregiver.. and will have to relocate and take care of her following her transplant in a few months *while i am pregnant*.. and single? i suppose. should i try to wait for him to come around? give him space? maybe this news is too much for him.. he's been begging for space and i've been begging him to talk. what should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
Mauschen Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Your ex boyfriend/husband doesn't sound like someone who is ready to be a parent (or even a partner) to anyone. Being a single parent is not easy, but it is doable. I've done it. I wouldn't give up my children for the world. Of course, daycare is expensive, there is little time to date, little time to do what you want (unless all you want to do is be with your children). In your case, it sounds like your ex won't be much of a financial contributor, but you can ask for child support (but maybe he doesn't earn enough to pay it?). If I had to do it all over again, I would have moved FAR away from my ex when I found out I was pregnant. Now, I am stuck in custody and child support battles with him and dealing with his VERY poor parenting. Most states won't allow you to move with the child if the other parent has court-ordered parenting time with the child (something to keep in mind). Good luck with your choice and don't let him force you into something you're not comfortable with. Link to post Share on other sites
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