mark78 Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Hi, Im looking for some advice, here the background. I have been with a girl i've known for years for about 8 months. We have had 2 splits were the result of her drinking and behaviour she has ended it, but we / i have managed to put things right. On friday night we went to a birthday party and decided to go to town afterwards, at some point in the night we lost each other as i wasn't able to get back in the pub as it they weren't letting people in, so i called and text her to tell her i was heading home as ive lost her about 20 times. She has come in 3 hours later at around 5 in the morning, I was sure she had cheated but sure she hadn't, again i askedd her in the morning again she said no. Four days have past and she has been so cold with me, so i asked her once again, she confessed to getting in a taxi with a stranger and went to his house for 20 minutes and only kissed him and in her own words said "I was thinking of nobody but myself when i got in the taxi it was 20 mins later when i thought what am i doing mark doesn't deserve this now get home" she claims to have left with nothing else happening. She was completely wasted again not that that makes it ok but she has a drink problem, not drinking ever day but drinks to excess. She says shes not going to fight for me because i deserver better but says she really loves me. Now here is the strange thing i have pressed and pressed her but in that same week she has been on pregnancy and STD website but claims it was for work purpose, I have said its also my health but shes sticking to only kissing this bloke, but im very worried now. Its almost like im in the wrong when we speak she just wants me to get off the phone, but its like shes embarrassed to admit she may have slept with him, just maybe she cant even remember because when we go out thats often happened. How can i draw this out of her or should i just except i might never know and get checked out either way and kick her in to touch. Any advice!!!!! Thanks Mark Link to post Share on other sites
ivalm Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 I think the best course of action is to break up with her. This cannot, and will not end well. You'll resent her for both cheating with you, for lying to you (she still is), and for having a drink problem. Some loves are not meant to be, this is one of them. Please do yourself a favor and get out. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 And go get tested for STDs. Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 She says shes not going to fight for me because i deserve better but says she really loves me. lie Now here is the strange thing i have pressed and pressed her but in that same week she has been on pregnancy and STD website but claims it was for work purpose, I have said its also my health but shes sticking to only kissing this bloke, but im very worried now. lie Its almost like im in the wrong when we speak she just wants me to get off the phone, but its like shes embarrassed to admit she may have slept with him, just maybe she cant even remember because when we go out thats often happened. trying to shift blame when you didn't accept the lies How can i draw this out of her or should i just except i might never know and get checked out either way and kick her in to touch. Mark you have several options depending on whether you prefer one word or more. a) bye b) goodbye c) get out d) get the f*ck out if you prefer extra emphasis Link to post Share on other sites
Author mark78 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Share Posted June 8, 2011 your completely right it was all lies, shes come clean again with more preasure applied, but in my eye's if you've been caught out, best to come clean and give the victim a chance to make their own mind up. I must be a cheat magnet. Well all i can do is start again and listen to the voice in my head and ignore what my heart says as listening to that as never done me any good. I really thought this was the one, its such a waste and a really shame. Whats worse is this is the only relationship i have completely got right, I learnt by all my past mistake and made sure i give this one my all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mark78 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Share Posted June 8, 2011 ps going with option D. thanks neal Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 You are certainly making the right decision. She has a drinking problem and goes home with a stranger in a taxi and of course screwed him. Her actions show she has no respect for you or your relationship. If you do not respect yourself then who will. You need to get tested for STD's. I doubt this was the only time. Never date a girl who has a drinking problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mark78 Posted August 18, 2011 Author Share Posted August 18, 2011 Hi, turns out i got this one completely wrong, she been FB an old flame and organising a night away in a hotel behind my back, i knew the had a affair but from what i know it was just go out get pissed and have sex and it looks like thats what was on the cards again. She has told him she loves him and is not bothered if they are seen out together, this girl has completely betrayed me so many times. what hurt is shes making out that i have trust issues but shes been emailing him messages you would and should only be sending to me. Why the hell are some people like this, we've made so many plans together, what did i mean to her, nothing????? She didn't meet up with him but i have confronted her and she's not saying anything as she knows shes guilty as sin, im not stupid if and when they were to go out, we both know what would have happened and i wouldn't have been given a second thought. As you can all remember she cheated on me a couple of months ago and it took some time to come out but she contracted genital warts 2 weeks after that event. im completely lost and so so hurt. but ive learned to listen to my gut and it told me she doesnt know what she wants...... Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 Why in the world are you still involved with her? Now she has genital warts..Isn't that special. Why do you continue to want someone with such baggage and who has absolutely no respect for you whatsoever. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Surely she cannot be the only woman on this planet you can relate to. Get your head out of the sand and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 The only right thing that this girl has told you is that she doesn't deserve you. So, how does kissing some stranger at his home translate into genital warts? SHe been lying to you this whole time. She meeting up with an Ex at a hotel and she slept with a stranger at his home. AND THAT'S THE ONLY TWO THAT YOU KNOW ABOUT! Now, she'll have a STD for the rest of her life. Count your blessing that you didn't marry this girl and move on! Run, and as fast as you can. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 Is it lined in gold or something? Link to post Share on other sites
Memphis Raines Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 As you can all remember she cheated on me a couple of months ago and it took some time to come out but she contracted genital warts 2 weeks after that event. im completely lost and so so hurt. ACCKK!!! I hope you kicked this skank to the curb??? I know it hurts and I know you don't see it, but if you think about it, you shouldn't be hurt at all. She is now some other guy's problem. You dodged a bullet and will no longer be wasting your time with her...i hope. Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 ps going with option D. thanks neal What happened to this statement? You did nothing for two months and she did it again? What a shock (NOT)! How much of this sh*t are you going to stand for? Grow a pair and then dump her & move on. Link to post Share on other sites
John Michael Kane Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 Hi, Im looking for some advice, here the background. I have been with a girl i've known for years for about 8 months. We have had 2 splits were the result of her drinking and behaviour she has ended it, but we / i have managed to put things right. On friday night we went to a birthday party and decided to go to town afterwards, at some point in the night we lost each other as i wasn't able to get back in the pub as it they weren't letting people in, so i called and text her to tell her i was heading home as ive lost her about 20 times. She has come in 3 hours later at around 5 in the morning, I was sure she had cheated but sure she hadn't, again i askedd her in the morning again she said no. Four days have past and she has been so cold with me, so i asked her once again, she confessed to getting in a taxi with a stranger and went to his house for 20 minutes and only kissed him and in her own words said "I was thinking of nobody but myself when i got in the taxi it was 20 mins later when i thought what am i doing mark doesn't deserve this now get home" she claims to have left with nothing else happening. She was completely wasted again not that that makes it ok but she has a drink problem, not drinking ever day but drinks to excess. She says shes not going to fight for me because i deserver better but says she really loves me. Now here is the strange thing i have pressed and pressed her but in that same week she has been on pregnancy and STD website but claims it was for work purpose, I have said its also my health but shes sticking to only kissing this bloke, but im very worried now. Its almost like im in the wrong when we speak she just wants me to get off the phone, but its like shes embarrassed to admit she may have slept with him, just maybe she cant even remember because when we go out thats often happened. How can i draw this out of her or should i just except i might never know and get checked out either way and kick her in to touch. Any advice!!!!! Thanks Mark So tired of women who cheat saying they always loved the man they cheated on. Such lies do not need to be spoken. She's unremorseful on top of her continued cheating. Drop her. Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 (edited) ps going with option D. thanks neal So 2 months later and you didn't go with option D? So let me get this right, you're now "together" 10 months (because I'm sure you haven't broken up with her); In those 10 months she broke up with you twice, twice you crawled back to her, she also cheated on you, you crawled back to her yet again and now she cheated on you again and you're still her puppet. I haven't seen such a train wreck of a RS in a long long long time. As long as you truly feel happy, carry on - but DON'T expect it to get any better, ever. Cause it won't (especially since you're so weak). Edited August 19, 2011 by Professor X Link to post Share on other sites
Ginger Beer Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 What a slut, ditch her man! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mark78 Posted September 22, 2011 Author Share Posted September 22, 2011 I am weak, I know that i have no idea, why i am been like this...its just so hard to let go.... I no what i have to do, Suppose I'm so sick of relationships failing that i really wanted this to work, probs to much. Im to forgiving and i need to learn to repect myself and until i have done that know one is going to want me. Its such a shame that her head is the way it is, i know she could be good one day, shes just a car wreck at5 the moment and suppose always will be. Just wish i'd have seen the signs earlier as it took me so long to fall for her, very silly boy i am in deed. thanks for all advice, its blunt but its what i needed. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 i need to learn to repect myself and until i have done that know one is going to want me. Major kudos on recognizing this. You know this, now go live it. But it's up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 :eek:Genital warts!! Man you must love her..burning love... Link to post Share on other sites
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