Parents who don't apologise, EVER!!

[Shuffty]

Hands up if you live with parents (mum in particular) who just will not apologise? You know the type, they talk to you like they would never talk to anyone else and think it's okay cos you're their kid.

 

In my whole life I think my mum's apologised to me twice, and that's being generous because I don't actually remember the occasions, I'm just going by the law of averages. She's a great mum, and a nice person, and generally we get along really well, it's just when we fall out she WILL NOT APOLOGISE. Even if I say it first, the words 'i'm sorry' never pass her lips.

 

I'm a grown up now and not prepared to have her talk to me like I'm still a kid, so I've basically had a falling out with her over something small that I feel warrants an apology from her. There's no silent treatment, I just don't really want to hang out with someone who doesn't care that they've actually upset their own child.

 

I know it does sound childish, but I ALWAYS give in and say sorry cos I don't like the tension. Right now, I just don't want to capitulate and re-enforce her belief that she can talk to me however she wants and I'll just 'get over it' or even apologise to her - as she had the gall to outright suggest!

 

I swear, we'd never speak again if she had her way - just as long as she doesn't have to 'lose' the non-argument and actually apologise for her behaviour. I don't get it, how can she not care? Is it that hard for a mother to say sorry to her daughter?

 

Anyone else have parents giving lessons in being pig-headed? How do you cope? Makes me so angry!!!

[Ross MwcFan]

My mum has never apologised to me either.

[alethean]

I can still remember the end of one of the first arguments I ever had with my mother. I was around five or six and it was probably about something stupid on my part. I just remember that my mother was about to take the night shift at work and she had to leave mid-argument. So she asked me when I was going to say sorry. I said I wasn't, and she said, "Ok, fine," and left. After that, I started feeling this overwhelming sense of guilt. I wondered what would happen if she were to die and the last memories were of this stupid fight.

 

Since then, I've always been the one to apologize in fights. My mom would never, but that's fine with me because where she grew up parents were right even when they were dead wrong.

 

The only problem I had with saying sorry was that instead of merely accepting the apology, she would go off on a rant about how rude I am and why I shouldn't have done what I had done, etc.

 

Now that I am older, these arguments are about pertinent life choices. She gets angry if I disagree with her on what I should do with my life. At first when these arguments about major life choices started happening, I did apologize to her. But then I realized that there was no reason to apologize for telling her honestly what I want to do with my life, and that's when I stopped.

 

Now whenever we have disagreements, neither of us says anything. And life goes on.

 

I love my mother, but I have to admit she's pretty stubborn, and her refusal to apologize is just one of the manifestations of that stubbornness.

[Jono85]

i'm kind of in the same boat, but with my dad. last weekend he snapped on me, b/c of all things i interrupted him (he does this ALL the time to me and my sister) and he called me a stupid idiot but in a very nasty tone. it really hurt b/c i'm 25, still living at home, went to university but basically got 95% finished, and couldn't finish b/c of a situation in my last semester. anyway i'm still trying to finish up, but haven't landed a career job due partly to this. so yeah it really hurt b/c i know he's very disappointed in me and most likely does think i'm an idiot. i contained myself pretty well after he said it, but definitely kind of said "wow...ok" and soft of left the room. but later on it was eating at me and basically went to my room and cried.

 

for me, there's no worse feeling than having your father (i'm the only boy, so kind of a bit riding on me) disappointed in you. i'm trying to live through it while i change things, but to hear him come out and lash out at me, kind of hit home.

 

anyway i feel your pain. just wanted to share my story too. in the past i've had talks with my parents if something was upsetting me, but this time i think whats the point. he thinks how he thinks. i don't want to ask for an apology, it would be meaningless. it's unfortunate what he said (even though it seems small) but there's nothing i can do besides changing things to change his opinion. oh well.

[Ouroboros]

My mother guilt tripped my father into apologizing a long time ago. He rarely does it but when he does it is insincere.

[Feelin Frisky]

My mother has never said the words "I'm sorry". I think she'd do just about anything to avoid it. She's the absolute model of defensiveness and will try to blame someone or something else at all costs. I've apologized to her many times--mostly for barking at her because of her irritating ways of addressing me. She acts like she assumes she can't address me directly like I'm going to explode at her and then talks so cryptically that I do explode at her. She's totally ego-centric meaning that she assumes everyone is thinking what she is thinking. Instead of asking me to take out the garbage she used to ask "do you have your shoes on?" If I said no, she'd grumble and say "never mind". Then I'd have to dig it out of her what she wanted. Then I'd wonder why the hell can't she just ask me to do what she wants? I'm not an ogre--I'd put my damn shoes on and take out the trash, no biggie. But every time on every account it was always this game of her not being direct--and you know what? It would annoy me to the point of being the damn ogre. This is really passive aggression on her part. She manipulated me into appearing hostile. What a pain in the ass. But I love her anyway.

[Tayla]

To the OP, THe best I can offer is to apologize when you indeed have reason too. Learn that integrity carries with it the ability to stand strong in your affirmations and to admit humbly when you have harmed another unwillingly. We cannot "force" someone to apologize, for that is for them to come to terms with. We can though offer our perspective and how it "offended" ones standards and move on.

I have a co worker who cannot utter the words of apologizing nor will they ever utter the words, "I made a mistake" Some folks correlate making a mistake with being a mistake.... I often wonder how such walks on water so much and doesnt drown on their utter nonsense....

[WhisperinnWinds]

I hate to drop narcissism into basically every one of my posts, but it does seem very common that kids having troubles with a parent invariably describe signs of narcissism. Narcissists can't give a genuine apology - it would tarnish this false image they've created of their own perfection.

 

In general, many parents also seem to view their kids as extensions of themselves too. I have watched people treat everyone with utter respect - except for the people in their own home. Especially their children. It's like they reserve all of their dumping for their kids and don't think twice about it. "They're my kids, that's what they're there for."

 

Analyze your mother's language after you have a fight. I recently had a big fight with my mom because she went into nuts mode and called me about 6 times in a half hour, leaving threatening Voicemails (not physically - my car is legally in her name (cheaper insurance), and she was threatening to report it stolen), calling me a bad daughter, demanding to know why I wouldn't answer her calls, etc.

 

I've found that after the fights we've had, her apologies usually go one of a few routes:

 

1. "I'm sorry if you think/feel that..." No, it's not 'if' - I do think that. Moreover, this apology is a way of shifting blame onto YOU. It's not their fault that you feel the way you do - it's yours! Moreover, they're only sorry that you 'feel' that way - they aren't sorry for the destructive actions they took to lead you there.

2. "I tried to do my best. I did x, y and z for you while you were growing up, and I wasn't the best, but I was..." This is classic deflecting. If they don't want to apologize, they go off into other issues. They'll bring up how they were good to you before and how they tried so hard. If this happens, simply say, "We were talking about how you cussed me out in front of my friend. Let's stick to the topic."

3. Stonewalling or blubbering. They'll either sit there like a rock saying and showing nothing, or they'll resort to cry baby fits to get their way. This is meant to manipulate you into apologizing while they get to maintain their superior stance of 'always right.'

 

Ordinary, non-narcissistic folks do this too, but it's a red flag to watch out for. Parents are not above recourse, nor should they be in an adult relationship. You are not a child anymore, and your mother needs to respect that. I would continue not to address her. Who wants to deal with someone who's ALWAYS right and too superior to apologize for wrongdoing? If she asks what's up, state your case. If she makes any of the three errors I've outlined above, call her out on it. Until she gives a genuine apology for destructive behavior, she doesn't deserve your forgiveness.

 

Oh - and passive aggression can be a sign of it too. My mom was also the type to be passive-aggressive about what she wanted, storming off to her bedroom before sitting like a stone.

Edited June 15, 2011 by WhisperinnWinds

[Sugarkane]

My father has never once apologised for anything.

[arts one]

I completely agree with the narcissism comment. I have been trying to keep out of my mother's way for the last few days because she has been horrible to me in the past week. She is always like this, but it has gotten to the point where enough is enough.

 

My mother had me very young and I have felt my entire life that she resented this. There are four children of which I am the eldest and the two of us have always had more issues than the others. I am an adult now and finishing my last year of study. I live at home because I found having to work 30-40hours to maintain a standard of living whilst renting to be difficult with uni. I am always found to be at fault. For my parents financial situation (which I might add, is at least 4x the average salary), for the cleanliness of the house, for the bad habits of my younger siblings, for the fact that I am studying for a degree where it may be difficult for me to find full-time employment in my field when I finish...

 

I no longer wish to have a relationship with her. This week I have been told how unintelligent, worthless, incapable, selfish, fat, ugly (I have a healthy weight) and the list goes on, I am. I sat at my evening meal one day having her yell so near to my face that spit was in my food. This was all because I suggested that my 17-yr-old brother admit to his smoking habit, rather than be dobbed in by another family member. The argument ensued for another half an hour even after I went upstairs. She was being held back by my father because she was attempting to manhandle people. The following day she carelessly dropped an important possession of mine resulting in me having to get it repaired. Neither one of these times has she apologised. Nor has she ever apologised.

 

When I was a little girl she would be physically abusive to the point that I feared for my life. She never said sorry. This is because my misgivings as a child caused her to react in the way that she did.

 

I know this has been a long post, just had to get it out. I have come to the conclusion that she will always think she is right, and I know this because she has some warped sense of the term "parents" and the element of "respect". I will not cower before her simply because she got knocked up and pushed out little me. Several times in the past I have apologised, simply because I didn't like the tension either (from an earlier post), also, she would deny me things I needed, like money for school and so forth.

 

So I've decided to wash my hands of it. If I ever have my own children, I want for her to have nothing to do with them - not that she would care a great deal anyway. Don't apologise.

[Disillusioned]

My mother never apologized for threatening me with a knife when I was 6. She never apologized for all those times she forced me to ride in her smoke-filled car. Worst of all, she never apologized for making me suffer from CTD when I was growing up.

[boosh89]

My dad usually pats my shoulder and says a quick, "Sorry" without meeting eye contact if he ever truly TRULY feels the need to apologize.

 

My mom, on the other hand, never apologizes either. Even after she kept saying I dress like a prostitute (when I expose my shoulders in a modest-cut tank top). Even after she announced to a huge dinner party that I was growing obese (I'm still barely 100 pounds). She only stops her hurtful behavior when I burst into tears.

 

I took these experiences and just learned from them. I know how important it is to apologize when you feel like you did something wrong/hurtful (and how important it is to not apologize when you're not sorry), and I carry this with me everywhere I go with everyone I encounter. Nothing else works since those who refuse to apologize are often the most stubborn.

[Emilia]

Neither of my parents have ever apologised to me. I probably wouldn't have expected my father to because he never really did anything directly to upset me but my mother tried to undermine me a lot when I was much younger. Now I only talk to her when she talks to me and I go and see her when it's absolutely necessary. I tolerate her because she is my mother but I don't like or respect her as a person.

 

OP, once you leave home it will be easier because you will be able to draw your boundaries and shape contact with your mother the way it suits you. Maybe it is worth having a conversation with her if you want just so you can feel you have tried everything in your power.

[2sure]

At first when I read this I thought to myself ...well, even if you are an adult if you are living in your parents home , they will treat you like a child. Thats just the way it is. Grow up and move out.

 

But...I realize times have changed and with the economy the way it is both parents and grown adults are sometimes forced to live together for financial reasons and this is just one of the hardships of that.

 

More importantly...apologizing in a sincere or at least civil way is something every single person must be able to do. Clearly, these same parents taught you to do so and to be comfortable with it. So, I dont understand why on earth a parent who has overreacted or has been wrong or just wants to leave a small matter behind would not tell their kids, regardless of age : Im sorry, I made a mistake.

 

Its important.

[Feelin Frisky]

I'm embroiled in a new controversy with my mother where an apology is in order but I'll never get it. I politely approached her about something the other night regarding something she pays $300 a month for with an idea that would get her even more value and cost only $200 a month. I have no personal stake in "selling" her on anything. Since she is on Social Security and talks about saving money what could possibly be wrong with that? I didn't press at all. Then I spoke to her the next day and she accused me of "ruining" her dinner for bringing this up. That got me angry as hell and I let her have it for her pig-headedness. I never pressed or said anything pushy, I told her that if anyone ruined her dinner it was her doing. Now I'm not bothering with her at all. I have nothing to say until I get an apology. So, I guess I'll never speak to her again. This is $1,200 a year to save and for SS recipients that is significant. But because I thought of it instead of her, it has to be wrong. Ef that. And my phone ain't ringing with any apologies. Just stupid.

[GorillaTheater]

I don't recall ever getting an apology from my parents, but you know how you deal with this, right?

 

You do better when it's your turn.

 

I've yelled at my kids on occasion, and have snapped at them out of anger (though I don't think I've ever insulted them or used derogatory or "you always/you never" type language. But when I've spoken harshly, and I know it, I'll apologize to them within the hour. Doesn't matter the age, 2 or 22. I have yet to be refused forgiveness, I strive not to do it again, and sometimes I fail. Doesn't mean they didn't deserve consequences, but they didn't deserve the extra decibels.

 

I'd rather be seen as human in my childrens' eyes than some kind of martinet.

[Excalibur1814]

I'd honestly say that there's a whole load of people out there that simply cannot apologise for their actions. My boss/director never, EVER, apologies for the things he's done even when he damn well knows that he's done something really silly.

 

Personally, I will apologise when I'm wrong and even then I have to acknowledge it to myself first, realising what I did/said was wrong.

 

Maybe directly ask her why she can never say sorry? Even if it's brushed aside it might give her something to think about.

 

P.s. Try not to get angry as you'll never be the better person if you do. Understand that there 'will' be a reason for why she never apologises and be it pride, being scared or just straight up arrogance, it's still a reason and she is who she is.

[Dooda]

I hate to drop narcissism into basically every one of my posts, but it does seem very common that kids having troubles with a parent invariably describe signs of narcissism. Narcissists can't give a genuine apology - it would tarnish this false image they've created of their own perfection.

 

In general, many parents also seem to view their kids as extensions of themselves too. I have watched people treat everyone with utter respect - except for the people in their own home. Especially their children. It's like they reserve all of their dumping for their kids and don't think twice about it. "They're my kids, that's what they're there for."

 

Analyze your mother's language after you have a fight. I recently had a big fight with my mom because she went into nuts mode and called me about 6 times in a half hour, leaving threatening Voicemails (not physically - my car is legally in her name (cheaper insurance), and she was threatening to report it stolen), calling me a bad daughter, demanding to know why I wouldn't answer her calls, etc.

 

I've found that after the fights we've had, her apologies usually go one of a few routes:

 

1. "I'm sorry if you think/feel that..." No, it's not 'if' - I do think that. Moreover, this apology is a way of shifting blame onto YOU. It's not their fault that you feel the way you do - it's yours! Moreover, they're only sorry that you 'feel' that way - they aren't sorry for the destructive actions they took to lead you there.

2. "I tried to do my best. I did x, y and z for you while you were growing up, and I wasn't the best, but I was..." This is classic deflecting. If they don't want to apologize, they go off into other issues. They'll bring up how they were good to you before and how they tried so hard. If this happens, simply say, "We were talking about how you cussed me out in front of my friend. Let's stick to the topic."

3. Stonewalling or blubbering. They'll either sit there like a rock saying and showing nothing, or they'll resort to cry baby fits to get their way. This is meant to manipulate you into apologizing while they get to maintain their superior stance of 'always right.'

 

Ordinary, non-narcissistic folks do this too, but it's a red flag to watch out for. Parents are not above recourse, nor should they be in an adult relationship. You are not a child anymore, and your mother needs to respect that. I would continue not to address her. Who wants to deal with someone who's ALWAYS right and too superior to apologize for wrongdoing? If she asks what's up, state your case. If she makes any of the three errors I've outlined above, call her out on it. Until she gives a genuine apology for destructive behavior, she doesn't deserve your forgiveness.

 

Oh - and passive aggression can be a sign of it too. My mom was also the type to be passive-aggressive about what she wanted, storming off to her bedroom before sitting like a stone.

 

Wow, those 3 points are spot on. The complete 'silent treatment', as though you're somehow not worth speaking to or she's "above" you to speak to you, is the worst. I've tried to react to her silent treatment with an equally aggravating silent treatment, and what I got in return is the blabbering, where she goes into a psychotic fit to get her way or to make me feel bad. It's one or the other.

She constantly belittles me and acts as though I'm not a trustworthy person to be around, but never blatantly says it, and demonstrates this with subtle actions like not trusting me over small tasks.

She still thinks I'm 14, even though I'm 20 and a grown enough person and trustworthy enough to handle certain tasks.

The worst part is having people judging you as being the bad son because you're not completely giving in and caving to her absurd behavior. That's the part that really gets me. I guess society believes it's OK for parents to treat their children like ****, all for the reason that 'they put you in this world'.

I didn't ask to be born.

[goldmoon]

Thanks for posting this. I completely empathize with you

I believe I am in the same or very similar boat

I completely agree with the points and suggestions WhisperinnWinds made.

 

I post two links to a website that may be helpful to you - it was helpful to me:

 

http://www.controllingparents.com/Signs.htm

 

http://www.controllingparents.com/healthie.htm

 

I posted the above because it is actually quite amazing that all the points on the above lists are applicable to my case (to my family and me).

 

I have recently done a lot of research on this and realized why I have set all the limits to myself, why I am such a damn perfectionist, why I developed a low self-esteem and why I have had to live my life in constant guilt and fear.

 

Due to a recent incident through which my parents treated me like dirt for no reason whatsoever, - while my brother and sister haven't talked to me for years for their own fabricated reasons - as we speak I have had it. I am already determined to break all contact with my mother and my whole family. Yes, it hurts because I love them still - I especially love my mother, who used to be my only "friend" in the family. I really loved her, loved her very much, that it hurts to write down these words: as it turns out, all she ever cared about was if I fulfilled her needs and expectations. Now that she realized that she cannot manipulate me any more, she also gives me the "silent treatment". After they put me out of my inheritence many years ago, now she has completely withdrawn her love and I am not even allowed to visit them any more.

 

Now that I learnt that she and my whole family have deprived me of the mental freedom in my whole adult life, I was acting upon their button-pushing, and I had to spend my life in fear and guilt because of them, I am grieving my whole life. It hurts and makes me angry beyond words. It hurts even physically - it's hard to describe. Then being angry gives me more guilt - so I am in a vicious cycle - I am in hell again. But free at last.

 

I have recently sent them letters confronting them with what they have done to me. I gave them the option to apologize, but knowing how narcissists are, I am aware that they never will.

My clearly narcissistic brother, who has all the symptoms of that personality disorder, and who otherwise doesn't talk to me, has threatened me in emails, using the rudest words, and he has set the terms for me that I should apologize if I still want to belong to the family. (???)

So, what this means that I don't have a family any more (stupid me, I was unable to realize that I haven't had one for a long time!), but then let it be so. If they hate me even more for breaking free, it doesn't matter either.

 

I will hold on to this new freedom and my integrity, and I believe I will survive this period too.

 

I hope that knowing about my story - and the suggested readings - will help you and everyone with similar issues.

 

Sorry for the rant and thanks for reading this

 

Eva

 

PS:

I bought two books today on the subject: I haven't read them yet, but I hope I will learn a lot more:

 

1) Karyl McBride: "Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers"

 

2) Susan Forward: "Toxic Parents; Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life"

Edited July 4, 2011 by goldmoon

[jymie10]

dont feel bad mothers are jsut like that even if there so rude and then relise that there wrong they will STILL blame you!!! but just catch her in smethen and make it so she has to or somethen idk i am so sorry u know the feeling

[cheergirl]

I hate to drop narcissism into basically every one of my posts, but it does seem very common that kids having troubles with a parent invariably describe signs of narcissism. Narcissists can't give a genuine apology - it would tarnish this false image they've created of their own perfection.

 

In general, many parents also seem to view their kids as extensions of themselves too. I have watched people treat everyone with utter respect - except for the people in their own home. Especially their children. It's like they reserve all of their dumping for their kids and don't think twice about it. "They're my kids, that's what they're there for."

 

 

1. "I'm sorry if you think/feel that..." No, it's not 'if' - I do think that. Moreover, this apology is a way of shifting blame onto YOU. It's not their fault that you feel the way you do - it's yours! Moreover, they're only sorry that you 'feel' that way - they aren't sorry for the destructive actions they took to lead you there.

 

3. Stonewalling or blubbering. They'll either sit there like a rock saying and showing nothing, or they'll resort to cry baby fits to get their way. This is meant to manipulate you into apologizing while they get to maintain their superior stance of 'always right.'

 

 

Great post, explains a lot, My mum's a narcissist... She wil not ever aplogise, because she is simply never wrong... she hasn't the inclination nor the capacity to ever apologise. Not gonna happen ever...

 

I completely agree with the narcissism comment. I have been trying to keep out of my mother's way for the last few days because she has been horrible to me in the past week. She is always like this, but it has gotten to the point where enough is enough.

 

My mother had me very young and I have felt my entire life that she resented this. There are four children of which I am the eldest and the two of us have always had more issues than the others. I am an adult now and finishing my last year of study. I live at home because I found having to work 30-40hours to maintain a standard of living whilst renting to be difficult with uni. I am always found to be at fault. For my parents financial situation (which I might add, is at least 4x the average salary), for the cleanliness of the house, for the bad habits of my younger siblings, for the fact that I am studying for a degree where it may be difficult for me to find full-time employment in my field when I finish...

 

I no longer wish to have a relationship with her. This week I have been told how unintelligent, worthless, incapable, selfish, fat, ugly (I have a healthy weight) and the list goes on, I am. I sat at my evening meal one day having her yell so near to my face that spit was in my food. This was all because I suggested that my 17-yr-old brother admit to his smoking habit, rather than be dobbed in by another family member. The argument ensued for another half an hour even after I went upstairs. She was being held back by my father because she was attempting to manhandle people. The following day she carelessly dropped an important possession of mine resulting in me having to get it repaired. Neither one of these times has she apologised. Nor has she ever apologised.

 

When I was a little girl she would be physically abusive to the point that I feared for my life. She never said sorry. This is because my misgivings as a child caused her to react in the way that she did.

 

I know this has been a long post, just had to get it out. I have come to the conclusion that she will always think she is right, and I know this because she has some warped sense of the term "parents" and the element of "respect". I will not cower before her simply because she got knocked up and pushed out little me. Several times in the past I have apologised, simply because I didn't like the tension either (from an earlier post), also, she would deny me things I needed, like money for school and so forth.

 

So I've decided to wash my hands of it. If I ever have my own children, I want for her to have nothing to do with them - not that she would care a great deal anyway. Don't apologise.

 

Sorry for what's happened to you hun... We can't make people treat us any way. we can only deal with what is... I hope you can get out soon...

 

 

I took these experiences and just learned from them. I know how important it is to apologize when you feel like you did something wrong/hurtful (and how important it is to not apologize when you're not sorry), and I carry this with me everywhere I go with everyone I encounter. .

 

Now this is what I like to hear, these are words of true empowerment... Learn from your experiences good or bad... Well done you!!!:bunny:

 

 

I don't recall ever getting an apology from my parents, but you know how you deal with this, right?

 

You do better when it's your turn.

 

I've yelled at my kids on occasion, and have snapped at them out of anger (though I don't think I've ever insulted them or used derogatory or "you always/you never" type language. But when I've spoken harshly, and I know it, I'll apologize to them within the hour. Doesn't matter the age, 2 or 22. I have yet to be refused forgiveness, I strive not to do it again, and sometimes I fail. Doesn't mean they didn't deserve consequences, but they didn't deserve the extra decibels.

 

I'd rather be seen as human in my childrens' eyes than some kind of martinet.

 

this is me... Nobody apologises more than me in my house... Because i am the authority I have the last word, I ALWAYS apologise when I am wrong which is fairly often, I never wanted my kids to grow up w/the sense of injustice I had....

 

Parents will always see you as a child, no matter how old you are.

This may be the reason your mother does not apologize. I am not saying that she is right, just what she might be thinking.

The woman who gave birth to me does not treat me or my husband with any respect. So we don't talk to her. She has abused me my whole life and that will never change. An example of her narcissism would be her 60th birthday yesterday. . She is just an ignorant, old school parent who believes children should revere parents who are evil. No thanks. She has damaged me enough.

I have reached a point in my life, where if a person brings nothing but negativity, they are not allowed to be a part of my existence. It has worked very well.

Sounds sooo familiar, i do what you do... works well....:bunny:

[goldmoon]

I just finished reading the Susan Forward's "Toxic Parents" book.

It is really a wonderful and a very helpful read.

I could finally liberate myself as a new person, and first time in my life I am finally independent from my parents.

 

What I think though: in my view the confrontation that Susan suggests - sending the letter or do it in person - makes sense only if I would seriously believe that my parents and family would ever change. But I know they won't, so I won't do this confrontation.

 

So I wrote my 10 pages long letter for the confrontation, but I will never send it to them. Instead, I will go with another choice: I leave them in their serenity - if they have it - and I will stay in my serenity I gained by reading this wonderful book. But I will not let myself be abused through my love for them - so I will cut myself off from them forever.

Edited July 19, 2011 by goldmoon