Why do I have to beg!?

[Millard]

Relationships shouldn't be this hard Millard. Most people take around 2 years to actually leave a partner once they've started seriously thinking about it. Do you really want to waste that much time? Unless you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with him - just leave, before it gets any more complicated.

 

If you're not ready to 'throw in the towel' right now you could try sitting him down and having a heart to heart - making it clear, in no uncertain terms, what you want from him. Try telling him 'it would make me really happy if....', although I'm not convinced he cares about your happiness from what you've said. You'll soon find out though.

 

You could also try couples therapy or sex therapy, if you can get him to agree to it.

 

What exactly are you getting from this relationship that is stopping you from leaving - apart from a roof over your head?

He's one of those men who believes that as long as he goes to work, everything is fine & dandy. The only problem is, we don't have a family that needs to be kept. Just me. So, he goes to work and I feel ignored.

 

So, considering that besides getting a roof over my head & financial stability, there isn't too much emotional support going on. What's stopping me from leaving is lack of a"nest egg" or money at the moment. I'd rather move back to my parents house with some rent to contribute right off the bat.

[Eve]

He's one of those men who believes that as long as he goes to work, everything is fine & dandy. The only problem is, we don't have a family that needs to be kept. Just me. So, he goes to work and I feel ignored.

 

So, considering that besides getting a roof over my head & financial stability, there isn't too much emotional support going on. What's stopping me from leaving is lack of a"nest egg" or money at the moment. I'd rather move back to my parents house with some rent to contribute right off the bat.

 

I read somewhere that a main difference between the sexes is that men tend to be emotionally blind in that they are wired to think that how they think is the way the world is. Looking at what makes my Hubby stand out to the point that I cannot really imagine us breaking up is that although he displays the exact same characteristics as what I have put in bold from your post, he consciously checks in on me to make sure I am alright.

 

Now, I know that as far as he is concerned, everything is perfectly alright because I am there and at the base this is his only concern. But he makes an effort to ensure that I am happy. In past relationships I found that they lived in their own heads and sex was the same. It was not a union.

 

So, maybe tell him to check in on you more? A slight touch here and there. A kiss. To look into your eyes and make you feel special. I seriously think that we have to teach them this and help them to feel secure about it, otherwise as long as you are there, they think everything is ok.

 

It may be too late in this relationship but I do think that this is the simple reason why many women go off their men.

 

Do the same and I don't think that it is possible to go far wrong if the love is there.

 

This is either going to be a new adventure for you both or neither of you will want to put the effort in anymore because of the past.

 

I would bring things to a head by both aiming to try out the above (with outside help maybe if you feel it is worth it) and if it falls apart, it wasn't meant to be. If you try to be together it is for real. That has basically been my litmus test. **** am I waiting around for something as simple as affection and good hot hot loving. P'ssshhhhh.. the desire is either there or it isn't.

 

Got other things to do!

 

Take care,

Eve x